Come Alive
by euphonious erroneous
Summary: Bella Swan lives a lie, but she was never supposed to know that. After a fateful meeting in a new city, truths are exposed at every turn. Through it all she must struggle against the forces of evil and fight to stay alive, because she may be the world's only hope. MA/AU
1. Chapter 1

I spotted him right away.

Sitting there, lithe and sinfully beautiful, in a corner booth at the back of the diner I walked into. Amongst the empty tables, he was staring fixedly at me from above his book as though he had expected me to stumble in and disrupt his evening. He glared daggers at me for no reason at all as I shuffled inside from the icy cold city wind and scuffed my wet sneakers along the floor.

His gaze sharpened like I'd disturbed him somehow, by simply coming into the dingy joint.

It had been the only place I could find open at this hour of the night. I was near freezing, damp from the light drizzle of rain outside, and exhausted from accompanying myself all day. There was no way I would be venturing back outside without a belly full of coffee. Handsome creepy runway model lurker or not.

The glass front door slammed shut behind me, making the little shiny bells above the frame jingle angrily.

He cringed at me, a cringe I could see all the way across the little place.

It was an epic type of cringe especially under the starkly white overhead lamps.

A wave of anxious nausea gurgled up my throat as I scooted over to the stool chair dotted counter. I looked anywhere but where he sat at first. I even briefly tried to convince myself that I was imagining things, but as I arrived in front of the cash register I could see him still intently watching from the corner of my eyes. His pointed scrutiny made me shift my weight from foot to foot as I stood in front of a shiny red cushioned bar stool.  
Even after a few seconds of displaying uncomfortable, shifty eyed, and sigh inducing body language I looked up to see him unwaveringly staring at me from his brightly lit booth.

My guts twisted as I wondered why he was paying attention to me at all.  
Judging by the way his long pale fingers gripped his book and how he pursed his flushed lips into a flatly unhappy slant I was fairly certain it wasn't a look of interest. Someone like him wouldn't bat a lash at someone like me, I thought as I tucked a chunk of my loosely hanging brown hair behind my right ear.

Unfortunately my body didn't understand that concept fully. My heart lodged in my throat, while my palms grew clammy, and my knees shook.  
I was sure this angelic being knew his effect on the opposite sex and it made my involuntary reactions that much more shameful.  
My mouth went dry and my temples flared as I tried to stop myself from behaving like a hormone riddled idiot, but even as my brain worked furiously I couldn't tear my eyes from him.

His perfectly coiffed auburn hair contrasted with his porcelain like skin as his topaz gaze all but bore holes back at me and the way his eyebrows arched in an unvoiced thought made me wildly wonder if he was thinking venomous things about me.  
He probably was.  
This strange man looked more like someone who belonged floating down from a cloud or emerging from behind a steamy tropical waterfall, with a rose hanging from his perfect pout, and maybe wearing a billowing white shirt unbuttoned to the waist.

Or something like that.  
Sitting in the booth that lined the back of the diner,he seemed as out of place as a snake at a tea party.

I blushed hotly and swallowed nervously as I struggled to look away from him, but I simply couldn't stop myself from being a completely predictable hot-blooded woman. This man -this bizarre man, in a desolate diner at midnight and clutching a paperback book like a lifeline, was beyond handsome. He was darkly dangerous, he was intensely mysterious, and he was staring me down like I'd run over his cat on Christmas day.

The table in front of him obscured his body from my view, but I could see his long legs crossed at the ankles.

Energy shot through my stomach as I concentrated roughly so that I wouldn't fantasize about him getting up and walking towards me.  
"Can I help you?"  
An unexpected voice broke my concentration and steamrolled through my thoughts. The apron clad twenty something on the other side of the counter look at me with an expectant look as she loudly snapped a piece of bright blue gum.  
"Oh."  
I said smartly while I bounced on the balls of my tingling feet.

Letting my eyes flash up and down the hanging menus behind her pony tailed head without really reading anything, I spoke again.  
"Um, coffee please?"  
Was my brilliant follow-up to "oh". The girl behind the counter rolled her charcoal ringed peepers before sighing loudly.  
"Okay, but what size do you want?"  
She answered my request with a question in an exasperated tone, making it seem like she said that same sentence a million times a day and hated every single person who forced her to recite it.  
I cleared my throat and mumbled a response as I struggled against my urge to explode a few of the glass jars at the end of the diner's bar so that she could see what a sour attitude really looked like.  
My finger tips buzzed to life with potential power.  
"Small, please."  
I mumbled.

Flicking her long curly black pony tail behind her, the waitress turned on her heel to fill a paper cup with steaming black coffee from a questionable looking pot. She poured, replaced the coffeepot, and snapped a lid on my drink before turning back to me with a bored expression flattening her thin eyebrows. Her long brightly colored fingernails noisily clicked at the cash register's screen while she slid my coffee towards me across the counter not really seeming to care much if it toppled over.  
"Two forty-six."  
She said as her gold hoop earrings swung heavily on each lobe.  
My eyebrows rose on their own accord as I reached into the back pocket of my jeans for my credit card with one hand while the other grabbed my warm cup of Joe.

Nameless rude girl passed my card through the slot at the bottom of her screen, handed me my receipt, and walked to the _employees only_ back area of the store without saying anything else.  
I tucked my credit card back into my pants and murmured under my breath as I collected my hot cup of black coffee with a twitching palm.  
"Thank you."  
I breathed out sarcastically.

Turning away from the counter, I spotted a table right away by the row of booths lining the back wall where I had seen _him _sitting. I didn't exactly know why, but the energy singing under my flesh buzzed for me to get a little closer to where he was and for once I listened to it.  
The shivering current rushing through my veins compelled me to seek him out. As I walked toward my seat I glanced up to see the same glower furrowing his brow while he watched my every move.

Somehow, it still surprised me that he was looking.

Even though he'd been inspecting me like a science project since I walked in and hadn't bothered at all to disguise it. I could almost feel his liquid gold gaze on my skin, it unsettled me in a way that churned my insides warmly and left my legs unsure below me.  
My blushing flushed to life while my unnatural ability squirmed down my spine. As the heat crept down my neck and slithered further into the pit of my stomach like molten lava, I reached my table.  
I placed my cup down first and then sank into dented silver tin chair.

Sitting a few feet away from him, I noted that he'd set down his book and his legs were no longer outstretched in front of him. Now he sat up straight and rigid with the ivory glow of the restaurant's overhead lighting which haloed his full head of Technicolor hair.  
I also noted the absence of a drink and a distinctly apparent disregard for my generall comfort. I was positive he could clearly see that he made me nervous.

A very small part of me, buried underneath the layers of countless other emotions, felt incensed at his tactless staring.  
Albeit those strange golden eyes doing the scowling were stunning, what little bit of pride I had left inside me roared with indignation. I commanded my body to move, to do something to show him that he didn't bother me.  
With a steady hand, I removed the lid of my steaming coffee before reaching for the glass sugar dispenser which I then tipped to spill its contents over my cup.

As the tiny iridescent grains poured into my molten black drink, I smirked to myself, and counted the simple act of sweetening my coffee as a victory over the stranger.

I waited a few seconds for the sugar to pile up at the bottom of my boiling hot drink before I replaced the glass container next to the little black box that held the multicolored packets of other sweetener.

He looked at me while I stirred my coffee with a little wooden stick, he stared me down as I took a careful sip, and he didn't blink once when I set my cup back on the table. Though the other silver tables around us were empty it seemed like they didn't exist at all when our gazes met.  
His was a bizarre color, fiery gold like the surface of the sun with streaks of plum-colored shadows under them. He looked as tired as I felt.  
I inspected him a little more closely, trying to look further than his handsome appearance. It was impossible to see beyond the thick set of his muscular neck or the long line of his prominent nose.  
My eyes sharpened as energy vibrated across my midsection, but all I saw was the way his pupils dilated hugely before shrinking and then expanding once more. His intense expression was unlike anything I'd ever witnessed.

I blinked rapidly, positive my exhaustion had finally gotten the best of me.

It was impossible to believe that he was so stunning that it actually hurt to look at him.  
With stinging retinas I observed the way his long bare arms, which were roped with muscles, tensed as he flattened his large hands against the table in front of him.  
I morbidly admired the flawless skin of his forearms, feeling embarrassed to be doing so and far too curious to care.  
His flesh was milky white with the slightest traces of thick blue veins, but otherwise completely unmarked with scars or tattoos.  
Breaking my attention away from his strong arms, I observed the way his entire body seemed to shift forward. Though, I wasn't sure I was seeing things properly any longer as the static pinging at my fingertips stung my skin in a distracting manner.

It could've been that I was side swiped by his sheer good looks or that I'd been traveling all day, but I felt beyond dazzled by this stranger.  
The way he hunched his shoulders stretched the black t-shirt he wore across what I could see was a beautifully sculpted upper body. I'd never seen a person so magnificent in my life and I'd certainly never seen one so intensely focused on me.

I was a no one special, even considering the freaky mind meld powers I was born with.

The unnatural energy surging up my neck prickled my skin making me shiver lightly under his ever-growing scrutiny. I felt like crossing my arms in front of my chest as a shiver ripped across my lower belly, but I kept my hands in my lap instead.  
My fingers all but sprayed fireworks as I twisted them together.  
The dusty copper haired man's arched eyebrows shot up into his _just right _hairline while he watched me like a lion stalking a fawn.

I sagged deeply into my oversized rain splotched sweater as I looked at him, feeling more like a puddle of afterbirth in the presence of his otherworldly perfection. My eyes fell to the top of my reflective table while my self-esteem plummeted.

I unfurled my hands to take a few more sips from my drink and, refusing to acknowledge him again, I formulated a plan in the privacy of my mind.

I would finish my coffee and leave.

Simple as that.

Then, I'd go back to the safety of my apartment and promptly forget the location of the rinky dink diner and it's singular brooding patron.  
I crossed my ankles under my chair as I continued slurping my boiling hot drink with my lashes cast downwards. The warmth seeped through me, almost into my bones as I focused on anything other than the feeling of the stranger's stare penetrating under my clothing. It was a monumental task not to look up at him, but I persevered in silence and caffeinated hydration.

Only a few seconds of stillness passed when my effort was shot to shit.  
"Are you waiting for someone?"  
A voice as smooth as silk wrapped around my throat to choke me violently with surprise.

I sputtered and coughed before quickly setting my cup securely on the table as I flickered my gaze up to where the voice came from.

He was a mere few feet away from me, speaking with that same fucked up expression twisting his incredible features, and holding a cup of coffee.  
"What?"  
I blurted in a state of confusion, partly because I wasn't expecting him to actually confront me about our stare off and partly because I was certain he didn't have a drink on his table when I looked a moment ago.

My mind was too sluggish to process any information as I took in the glory of his outer perfection. I tried in vain not to let my mouth hang open in awe, but I felt like a dazed guppy who had just been kicked in the face by a stomping and splashing tourist.

Up close he was utterly inspiring.

He towered over me with his jeans hanging lazily on his slim hips in a way that made my mouth shamefully water and my pulse treacherously race. Slowly, he blinked so that his lashes, lashes maybe too long for a grown man, swooshed through the electric air between us. He raised his unoccupied hand to run five perfectly pale and long fingers through his thick mane of hair, thinly concealing his frustrated expression with a little shrug.  
While he stood behind the other aluminum chair at my table, I felt my cheeks growing even hotter as I wordlessly gawked at him.

He didn't at all seem amused by my obvious incapacity to form words or my schoolgirl flushing as he attempt to talk again.  
"May I sit here?"  
His full mouth carefully said the words like he was speaking to a child or a goldfish in a bowl. It's true I struggled to listen and not stare, but this guy didn't have to be so obvious about it either.

My brows flattened as I inspected him.  
He was nearly moving in slow motion, gazing deeply into my eyes, and just being generally distracting in a calculating way. Though regardless of his strange lurkiness, I nodded my head and forced out a sound that resembled words.  
"Yeah, sure."  
I squeaked and then cleared my throat lightly.  
He looked away for the briefest moment, a second long enough for me to roll my eyes at myself and blow out a small shaky breath. Inhaling sharply I caught his faint cologne which burned in my lungs.  
My heart drilled against my ribcage.  
"I'm Edward."  
As he introduced himself in a gravely tone and raised his eyes to mine, he gracefully sat down across from me.  
His burning golden gaze looked me right in the eyes making it seemed like everything around us could melt away in their glowing pools of light and I would simply simmer right along with it all.  
"Isabella."  
I said without thinking before awkwardly grimacing at my full name. With a rough swallow I corrected myself.  
"Bella."  
Mindlessly, I lifted my drink to my dry lips and drained the contents in a couple of modest gulps hoping that the caffeine would give me a little more grace somehow. I could feel the precarious state of the atmosphere around us as I set the empty paper cup in front on me a few seconds later.

We were alone in the brightly lit diner, with elevator music gently tinkling above our heads, and a sticky table top between us. Edward slid the drink he'd brought over in my direction, the one he hadn't had when I first saw him.  
My eyebrows creased in confusion while the unnatural energy zapping down my neck buzzed in anxiousness.  
"I got you another one. You may have to stir it."  
His incredibly sculpted mouth richly formed the words he spoke in a way that enabled me to not immediately recognize the string of potentially dangerous sounding sentences.

I knew better than to accept drinks from strangers, especially ones who encouraged me to stirrup the presumable drugs at the bottom for a more pleasant taste.  
Granted, when I'd been warned about these types of situations no one mentioned the beverage would be a mild as a cup of coffee. None of the clichés applied to me, ever, and this was a depressingly and decidedly backwards realization.

Still, an incredulous scoff rose up in my throat as I looked at this Edward person. Surely he picked up that I was new in the city, that could be the only explanation for his interest. I must' have been considered an easy target for this ridiculously handsome man.  
I sunk further down into my seat as the noise I produced died in my throat.  
His golden eyes grew wide and his shoulders squared while he puffed his chest out like a proud horse, but I could tell he was unaccustomed to being scoffed at.

In fact as I took a closer look at him, I suddenly realized I'd been wrong about the coffee and his intentions.  
The set of his tense forehead combined with the ashen shade he'd turned made it seem like he was genuinely surprised by my response.  
I would've been better prepared for a killer smile or a some kind of smooth comeback, but instead Edward looked seriously puzzled and a little hurt. The expression was sort of a nice break from the scowl that had previously taken residence on his face. It made him look younger and, dare I say, so vulnerable.

My sneakers pushed back against the floor to send the metal chair scooting backwards a few inches while I watched him transform before my very eyes.  
"There's sugar in it. That's all, I promise."  
Edward shrugged again, though this time the action was much less _cool guy _and much more _shy guy. _He leaned against the shiny table top as he scooted the drink directly in front of me.  
He wasn't a big man in the conventional sense, but somehow he blocked my view of the counter and the front door all at once. My breath caught in my throat as he inched closer still while his hands grasped the sides of the table palms facing down.  
His molten stare flickered down to the new cup of coffee he'd provided me with.

Then, the amazing happened.

I watched in silent astonishment as the lid peeled away from the hot beverage, levitated a few inches above the steaming cup, and fell to the table with a mouse sized clatter. A wooden stick from the bunch beside the packaged sweeteners zoomed into my cup and as it vigorously swirled, seemingly with a mind of it's own in the onyx colored liquid, I stared wildly at Edward. He no longer concentrated on the coffee between us, but gazed back at me with a dark look shadowing his angelic features.  
My heart slammed against my ribs as my balance wavered and the energy zig zagged underneath my flesh.

Pushing up the sleeves of my sweater, well past the crook of my bony elbows I didn't think twice about what I did next and I probably should have.

The need for release was maddening and the impulse to show him was too great for me to ignore.  
Never breaking our eye contact I quietly forced the unnatural energy away from just under the surface of my tingling skin. Without blinking and completely soundless, I removed the lifeless wooden stick while my electrified hands remained in my lap.

Mimicking what he'd done, I let the stirrer float in the air between us for a few seconds as it dripped and dragged along the table top until I laid it to rest by the discarded lid. Fluttering my lashes, I uncurled my fingers from each other and grasped the cup with determination. Tipping the beverage up to my lips, I removed my hand and allowed for the cup to levitate as I took a confident sip of the precisely sweetened and hotly delicious coffee.  
Placing my arms along side his, gripping across the table, I kept my eyes down as I swallowed a warm mouthful.  
I set my drink down after just a brief moment of stretching my ability. The thrill of finally showing someone outside of my family what I could do, a someone like Edward nonetheless, left me slightly bleary eyed and dizzy.

Through the fog I could see him, sporting a grim look and a frown that could make flowers wilt.  
"You stupid girl."  
I heard him say right before one of his massive hands clamped down around my forearm. The contact of our skin momentarily stunned me as it sparked a ripple of power through my body that lashed out at him uncontrollably.  
A look of confusion contorted my face, because I really didn't understand what was happening right away and Edward's darkly angry stare gave no answers at all. His expression only wavered when my eyes budged a moment later as I felt the horrible sting of something slicing through my flesh where he grabbed me. I saw the softening of his eyes and the regret shadowing just under them, before he hardened himself once more. Ice cold fear slithered down my spine as I looked at him.

In a horrifyingly clear moment I realized I was being attacked and sedated in an empty diner by a gorgeous psychopath.

I opened my mouth to cry out, but I couldn't make a sound.  
My mind frantically commanded my limbs to get up and run, but I couldn't move a muscle either.  
A few beads of sweat broke out along my brow while time began slowing all around me. With frightened and crazed eyes, I looked to the throbbing pain I felt in the crook of my elbow. It seemed to be one of the only places I could distinctly feel any longer.  
Edward's pale thumb pressed a tinyglass syringe deeply into my flesh. I wanted to sob in shock as panic shot through my entire body, but all I could do was frigidly sit in my seat and stare wide-eyed.  
In desperation I tried to summon my ability, hoping that the little something extra I was born with would over come whatever drugs he'd just pumped me full of.

It was a useless effort in the end though.  
I could feel the buzzing within me but I couldn't focus on it long enough to get away from him. Now I could only see his face hovering above mine, I hadn't noticed that he stood. I blinked trying to clear the thickening fog. I could see his lips moving, saying something I couldn't hear above the sloshing in my ears.  
Again, I struggled to scream.  
Even my breath toiled to leave my body as I felt my world fading fast.

So, I did the only thing I could think of doing as I sat there paralyzed. I took a good look at him and committed Edward's face to memory while the universe around me grew distant and dim.

* * *

**_Please leave a comment and let me know what you think._**


	2. Chapter 2

_Hello reader,_

_Twilight and all other recognizable characters in this story are property of their perspective authors/creators. However, this work of fiction belongs to me and is intended for mature readers._

_If you're underage in your state or country this story isn't for you._

_Enjoy!_

* * *

**The night before. **

* * *

There hadn't ever been a time when I felt totally comfortable in my own skin. I was too tall for my age, pale enough to look perpetually ill, and so gangly that often times my limbs knotted together.  
Usually, in public places for all to see.  
Never able to truly connect with people, I've spent most my time reading and getting lost in fictional worlds where I'm relatively safe observing.  
Then there was my defect. It wasn't like having ears too big for my head or a tail.

Or even hooves...  
...no, my defect was much- much more horrible.

I'd been born with it, learned to live with it, and hid it from the world ever since I could remember. Being different, and knowing why, made separating myself from others almost frighteningly simple. I always had an excuse for not taking risks. After all everything about me, Bella Swan, newly eighteen, and a proud recipient of a freshly printed high school diploma, was always _too something_.

Too awkward, too forgettable, and too naïve.

I huddled into my sheets as I continued thinking positively about myself. From here, I could perfectly see the moonbeams streaming through the glass pane of my bedroom window. I noted that the moon, big and bright tonight, bathed everything in my nearly emptied room. I stared blankly at the now desolate space while the nighttime rays bent under my dead-eyed scrutiny.

Their glimmering light cascaded over the bare floors, soaking my room in a sparkling platinum eeriness and a hushed dreariness that made my stomach twist into knots.  
I could almost taste the impending change in the air and it was a bitterly rancid flavor. I shifted against the mattress, but getting comfortable was pointless as sleep evaded me for hours now. Beneath my face, the crammed starched stiff pillow case distracted me from the glittering midnight rays and the bad taste in my mouth. There was too much to think about and way too much to remember for my brain to shut off.

The jolts of unnatural power zinging my mind to life every few minutes didn't help much either.

I struggled to get snug in the quiet darkness of my childhood bedroom, but it was so impossible that I felt frustrated enough to weep. No tears sprung from my eyes though, I sucked them back thickly as their saltiness coated the back of my throat. I refused to allow pity to board the party bus of feelings currently careening through my veins at full speed.  
Hyper aware, intensely tired, and listlessly sad I kept my body as still as possible, but it seemed each individual thread that composed the sheets under me scratched at my flesh angrily in a riotous coup to seize my attention anyway.

I yearned for the oblivion of sleep.

Glancing away from the window, I looked around the room's now bare walls and clean shelf tops with my emotions boycotting my senses in the most atrocious manner imaginable. I observed the four lavender walls that made up my bedroom with a flat stare. I remembered a time when they were once decorated with a modest amount of concert stubs, ripped pages absconded from beloved books, and prints of my favorite contemporary paintings. Comfortingly simple mementos were once scattered every few inches in here, but now _nothing _was anywhere.

I noted this bleak fact with a heavy heart.

All of my belongings were boxed up, the things I would take with me were packed away in suitcases by the front door, and everything else had been bundled up in huge black trash bags. Those trash bags had been collected yesterday morning before the sun came up. I nearly let the floodgates of my emotions rush forward while I thought of what had been gobbled up by the garbage truck.

It had been the strangest sensation, throwing out childhood memories and pictures.

Once I'd begun filling the bags, I remembered back to when I'd made the decision to dispose of things, I simply couldn't stop. It had been an almost cathartic release, but now I wondered if it had really been the right thing to do.  
My world shimmered and shook as electricity seeped away from my skin in such huge undulations that I couldn't even attempt to control myself. I sucked in a huge breath, unprepared to deal with the strength of power rocketing through my heart. The feeling, one I'd come acutely accustomed, to surged through my body until I had to shut my eyes and pray for it to go away, but it didn't.

Instead, it engulfed me in the shadowy darkness of my bedroom.

_Go away. Go away.  
_My brain pleaded.

I couldn't deal with _that _now, not when tomorrow morning was so close. Not when my liberation was mere hours away- no, I couldn't deal with it tonight. My finger tips twitched as what my father had always called my _gift _drenched me and ate away at my skin like acid rain.

I resisted the urge to whimper aloud.

Every passing day without my father was another day I didn't really care if my special talent swallowed me whole and each day it grew more unpredictable. The static energy balling within me wasn't at all like the magic trick Charlie and I spent endless hours fine tuning. Now, it felt dangerously on the verge of supersonic combustion and I was nearly helpless to do anything about it. Lately I was sure that at any given moment I would explode, sending bits and pieces of myself soaring to heights never before thought possible. I kept everything bottled up inside me partly because I wasn't certain that I could deal with the eventual fallout of my exposure.  
It was a sick treadmill I couldn't step off of. My eyes flew open as my mind quietly sprinted out of control. Right on cue, my intestines began cramping painfully while the back of my neck broke out into an icy cold sweat.

_No! No, not now, Bella.  
_I demanded from myself.  
As I thought this, my palms began burning and I knew I was seconds away from destroying something if I didn't find the strength to stop the current from sparking to life. The air around me shivered unnaturally.  
It was almost as though the particles that made up the very fabric of the universe around me were scurrying to get away from me. Unused for many days now, my gift seemed to swell within me rearing it's head for freedom and not letting up until it was attained.

Clammy and trembling, I curled into my bed sheets as another ripple of energy tore straight through me. I took a deep breath to relax myself hoping desperately to control what was about to happen, but the electric sting made my eyes water with its force.

Since before I could remember I had the ability to change things to the way I willed, but there were times, times which were becoming frighteningly more frequent, when the power was too great for me to suppress.

It was comparable to a sneeze. First came the tickling feeling, then the build up of tension, and finally the explosion. The _gift _I was born with was very much like this, only about a million times more powerful and most times completely erratic.  
There wasn't an explanation of why I was this way, no one in my family showed any signs of having the affliction, but I learned to somewhat deal with my freaky super powers as time wore on.

Unfortunately, loosing Charlie really put me in a bad place.

Sure, I could create simple things like pretty sugar crystals during morning breakfasts _or _I could destroy whole strips of grass with just a touch of a finger if I fell outside on a sunny day. Making electronic devices short circuit in my palm was child's play, dissolving solid materials like they were made of ash was as easy as pie, and traveling anywhere in the blink of an eye was simply second nature.  
I didn't know why I was different, I just was, but without Charlie I was different and alone.  
The combination was proving to be too much for me to handle.

Early on the above mentioned _talents _were not really understood well amongst my small family, but Charlie always encouraged me to explore my ability as fearlessly as I could. My dad, more than any one else, seemed to know how to quell the tantrum like outbursts I experienced because of the something _extra _I was born with. I trusted him to know the limits, I relied on him to bring me back from the brink if I toppled over the cliff, and now he was gone. Since he disappeared a year ago, I had no one to share my heavy secret with and no one to depend on.

Things seemed darker, much darker than ever before.

I cringed deeply while the ache in my chest throbbed at the emptiness all around me.

My vision shook and blurred as I noticed various cracks beginning to form along the wall at the bottom ledge of my window.  
While I curled into myself in bed, I could hear the concrete groaning loudly under my unconscious manipulation. Energy radiated away from my skin in huge waves as a drumming noise boomed tremendously in my ears.  
My temples achingly flared while the branch like dents in my wall seemed to darken and bleed out as though they were an actualization of my torn world.

Again I shut my eyes tightly and hoped I wouldn't crumble the wall, but I felt the strength of my grief pushing the limits within me like never before.  
Trembling power shivered away from my flesh in currents, I could sense it's sheer intensity as it left me and cracked the wall opposite from where I was.

It almost felt good to destroy something in a sick, twisted way.  
Lately the structured control my father instilled in me seemed to slip through my white knuckled grasp like tiny grains of sand. I blamed my lapses on him and his absence.  
It was almost pointless to keep up the regime of exercising my abilities, monitoring them, and guarding the secret when he wasn't around any more. Most times I just didn't care about exposure and other times I was simply too tired to stop myself from losing control.  
The grief I felt over Charlie's disappearance made it nearly impossible to stretch out my ability's muscles the way I used to and keep it all together.

Awesome things like responsibility and cautiousness were no longer in the realm of possibility for me, because being in control of my talents was becoming just too much of a burden for me to bear.

In fact the pent up veracity of it sometimes, especially when I was alone and resting, was enough to frighten me of my own capabilities. And though I still actively battled against the urge to express myself most times, there were other times when I felt my will to fight was too badly battered and bruised.  
Tonight was one of those _other _times.

It had become much harder to predict when the energy rushing through me was going to erupt, but when my emotions were scattered like they had been I was sure an incident was about to follow.  
One much bigger than a few cracks in my bedroom wall. I could sense it by the strange rippling of the air around me and the numbness in my toes.

_By now Charlie would've been running in here to see what was wrong.  
_I thought to myself before turning over swiftly to my other side.

My shoulder hit the mattress almost painfully while the prickling numbness crept up my calves. I situated myself as I struggled to picture my father's face, but I could hardly see him anymore.

My eyes fogged over with unshed tears once more and once more I swallowed them back. It was my inability to clearly see him in my memory any longer that threw a wet rag over the dancing flame of my _gift.  
_A deep scowl twisted my forehead as I tried to concentrate on him, but in my mind he was just too blurry to make out.  
Not at all like the mustached and normally not-amused-by-much Charlie Swan. The person who somehow always knew when my _balance_ was shaken. The one person who attempted to make sense of what was happening to me and teach me to control the unholy side effects.

I hated the fact that somehow he was fading from history and I was once again helpless to do anything about it.

Charlie wasn't a great man.  
Better yet, he was a good one who deserved to be remembered and I couldn't even do that for him. I clutched my bed sheets in my tingling fists as I thought of everything we'd been through as a family.  
My father used the term _inner balance_ to help describe my abnormality once my parents knew something was wrong with me.  
It was pretty early on, as a baby still in diapers, that my special talents first made their unwelcome appearance.  
I didn't remember any of that though, only Rene's stories of those days painted my memory of things.

Charlie, on the other hand, never really dwelled on those early days. His stories were always factually confused and he often skipped right to the chase to save a few extra minutes. He was more interested in the science of things. I guess having a child who could manipulate atoms at their most basic level was like hitting the jackpot for a doctor like him.

While Rene spouted found stories Charlie was training my mind to heat liquids, evaporate gases, and freeze solids before I even took my first few steps. Granted my father wasn't a poet about it, regardless of his prestigious education, but in some kind of way the simplicity of his explanation was as precise as it could get.  
When I became unbalanced not only did outside forces suffer, but so did my physical form.  
Of course there were degrees of instability including those that my father considered harmless, like levitating objects or creating from things that already existed. Then there were the abilities that could harm me and others, we didn't practice those at all but somehow they happened as naturally as If I had.

Setting fire to things or dissolving matter were the most common disasters, but when I made objects appear from nothing at all or traveled through the fabric of space for long periods I risked seriously harming myself.

I twisted in against my bed sheets as I thought of the handful of times when I allowed my ability to overwhelm my control.  
Bed rest for days, extreme weight loss, and horrible hallucinations. All of these symptoms were always accompanied by headaches, seizures, and vomiting.

Puberty triggered the worst episodes, so that after being a teenager for a couple of years no one used the term _gift_ any longer. Instead the four of us talked about my balance like it was a living, breathing, and thinking entity.

It was my Mr. Jekyll. Though that name was ruled out many, many times.  
The problem in our household was boiled down to bare, non-macabre, bones when Charlie dubbed my ability.  
That's how the term _balance _came about.  
My tantrums begot destruction while my happiness heralded creation, so there was a scale of degrees that could be measured and controlled. It really wasn't the most clever or cunning superpower name I know, but I didn't live in a graphic novel where I saved cities or solved global issues.

I was just a little girl with an appropriately named telekinetic power living in a suburb of Phoenix. We didn't have any great family tomes with explanations about the power that lived inside me. Google certainly didn't have any information on actual cases of what was happening.

The latter I've proven to myself time and time again. There simply wasn't anyone we could tell or ask for advise.  
So, we made it up as we went along and stuck together always. Charlie, through all of it, documented everything.  
If I hiccuped and the lights flickered or if I could solve the puzzles he'd hidden two blocks away, he wrote every occurrence in his journals.  
My father had written that when my _balance _was off, I had more strength than I could contain or use responsibly and bad things happened.

That was always the golden rule.

So, his solution was to exercise the logical abilities, the powers that didn't cause me physical ailments, in order to temper the ones that happened because of "emotional lapses".  
Those were his words.

_Emotional lapses._

Manipulation by concentration, that was Charlie's whole theory and it worked as long as I stuck to the formula.  
From early on there were also a few strict guidelines.

_Never tell anyone and never ever show them.  
_These were the most important. I never questioned them and I never, ever, violated them. Charlie had explained what the consequences would be for someone like me, and in short, they terrified me. Our small family was careful to practice only in the safety of our home so that any accidents could be easily covered up.

And there were times when my incidents needed covering up in the way only a family could do.

Too many times, I recounted, when they had all sacrificed for me. I pushed my face against the pillow under my head, smashing my cheek into it roughly.  
In an attempt to center myself, I pictured Charlie's face and imagined his sure baritone voice telling me everything would be ok. Since his disappearance a year ago it was the little things I missed, like being able to simply listen to him speaking.

I would've given anything I had to hear just a few words.  
With several shuddering breaths, I focused on the calming nighttime sounds all around me and the fading memory of my father instead of bargaining with no one. The entire house was peacefully silent in a way that was tangible as the stillness saturated the air wholly. It wasn't a comfortable quietness at all, but the thoughts of Charlie and the way our family was before this had all happened were enough to calm me.  
I sucked in a deep breath and swallowed loudly as my intestines began uncurling. To my relief the glowing shimmer projecting from my flesh dulled ever so slightly and I knew I'd very narrowly avoided some catastrophe.

I didn't think of a "happy place", but rather I tried to remember a happier time.  
A spot in time that was so precious I didn't even realize it, not until it had long passed.

I slowly regained control as I sighed sharply through my nostrils.

First was the ebb of feeling languidly returning to my finger tips and then the deep pressure building on the left side of my face gradually reduced. With every measured inhalation I felt the coldness at the back of my neck slowly dissipating. It was like walking out of a theater after watching a terrifying movie.  
Relief would flood you just to know you'd stepped back into your safe world.

Even my bed sheets seemed a little softer as the frightful energy retreated back to wherever it came from within me. I allowed for my shoulders to drop and relax slightly.  
With the humming just under my skin returning to bearable levels, I knew the ordeal was over just as quickly as it had begun.  
I couldn't ever totally rid myself of the feeling though. Left behind was the usual metallic taste rolling around in my mouth like a dirty copper penny and the white noise of my pacified balance lingering in the back of my mind.

Shrugging into the mattress, I burrowed deeply into my sheets and tried to keep my tender balance from imploding again. These days it seemed it could happen at any moment for any reason.  
Knowing this made me constantly shifty eyed and even more weary than I already was. I peered over my bare spaghetti strap striped shoulder to gaze under my window where the cracks I created leaked downwards.

With a big breath, I turned my head away not wanting to look at the evidence of my little slip. Tonight I could've easily brought the entire wall down without moving a single muscle and I felt deeply ashamed that I barely restrained myself from doing it.  
Tomorrow I would fix it before I left, I thought to myself while my lips parted for a yawn.

Shutting my eyes and reopening them, I struggled to focus on putting my mind to rest as the light buzzing at the palm of my hands subsided to an almost nonexistent level. A pang of bitter relief broke through my swirling emotions as I thought of how glad I was that I hadn't destroyed my bedroom on my last night in it.

I counted it as a victory, be it a small and singular victory, as tiredness saturated me totally.  
My whole body craved sleep, but the static inside me wouldn't let up.  
I could feel it still in the heaviness of my limbs, I could sense it in the pit of my stomach, and I couldn't do a thing about the prickling at the tips of my fingers. By now the feeling was akin to background chatter which never lowered in volume, but somehow faded away into nothingness.  
I could never sever myself from the feeling of my ability, it just existed there ready to be provoked whenever I became unstable.

It was a tiring realization, one I'd had before many times.

I couldn't ever fully escape my Mr. Jekyll.

Never ever.

My thoughts sliced through the viscous jelly of my brain mass like warm points on unforgiving utensils, making it impossible for me to shut my weary mind off. Sadness and exhaustion pressed against my chest as I folded tightly in on myself. If I could just have a few moments of absolute bliss, where everything was the way it used to be, I would've gladly given anything.

_Anything at all.  
_I thought to myself in a small voice while I blinked back the unshed tears suddenly welling in my eyes. Sucking back their unborn saltiness, I raked my gaze up and down the bare wall opposite of my curtain-less window.

The nighttime shadows helped to cast an eerie projection where I could see my own ghostly outline.  
In the dimming moonlight the particles floating around my bedroom annoyed me with their ascension, descent, and eventual thundering collapse to the floor. I gently directed the energy swimming in my veins to the tiny dust bunnies forming comfortable huddles on the wooden floor of my childhood bedroom.  
Stretching my fingertips ever so lightly, I made a tiny sweeping motion through the air and swooshed them under my bed without getting up. The little clumps of particles formed into tiny cyclones as they followed my remote influence quickly and my floor was cleanly bare once more.

I retracted my fingers and curled them towards my body.

Anxiousness, boiling hot and unabashedly present, flooded me as I tried to recall simpler times in an effort to comfort myself with nostalgia. I hoped for at least a few hours of uninterrupted sleep before my big day tomorrow, but only fuzzy snippets of my past came to mind making my melancholy mood turn positively sour in a matter of milliseconds. Those fleeting thoughts and remembrances were normally the only bits of sanity that allowed me to keep it together. In the solitude of my dark room even they failed me.

I bunched the bed sheets under my head and dug the side of my face deep into the cloth pool as I shut my eyes tightly in hopes of drowning out my inner turmoil. Persistent throbbing knocked at my temples while my tenuous balance wavered as sleep teased my senses mercilessly.  
The ever-present ache in my head forced the cogs of my brain to twirl into motion as a stream of worried thoughts began to torment me like the loud ticking of an ominous clock. Every shortcoming and every hopeless disappointment in my life surged through me horribly.

Cranking open my eyes, I again flipped over.

This time in a huff, and bundled more bed sheets under my chin. The fabric was cool against stinging flesh.  
Once more I faced the modest window of my room, with it's sagging ledge and water spotted glass. With a deep frown I noted how dirty it had become. Again I stretched my hand, this time I only extended my pointer finger, above the bundle of sheets clasped tightly to my body as I tried to clean the glass. Moving my bony digit in a half circle I remotely wiped away the dirty splotches.

One by one I eradicated them all.  
Charlie, I remembered longingly, never ran short of little things for me to do around the house whether that was in the form of a mild scavenger hunts using only my powers, performing chores solely through my energy's will, or experiments testing my boundaries. He'd trained me to control the force of my ability and of course in his own way showed me how to exercise my gift freely. My dad taught me only ever to use a portion of my strength at any given time so that I wouldn't overwhelm myself, but dually encouraged me to be confident in what I could do.

I tucked my pointer finger away knowing I would never practice with him again or see his amused face when something inanimate suddenly came to life.  
His favorite of my tricks was the vacuum cleaner.  
I could clearly recall the ghost of his chuckles as I would puppeteer the massive outdated household apparatus up and down the hallways from somewhere hidden in the house.

Bringing the bed sheets closer to my face I remembered Charlie as he was before he disappeared. I longed to actually hear the sound of his choppy chortle again, instead I heard only the vast silence of an almost empty home. With a heavy soul, I took several deep breaths while I tried not to think of how much I missed him or the frightening uncertainty of my life from here on out. I didn't want to think of being alone with this _thing_ I was cursed with and I certainly didn't want to think of my mother living in this old house by herself.

Even as I determined to forget these things they came at me louder then I could handle. I desperately attempted not to reflect on any of it, but instead I thought of utterly everything. Lively and boisterous, the images of Charlie's bemused mustached smile, Rene's golden hair coming undone in a whirlwind of creativity, and Jacob's happy green eyes careened into my mind.

Now none of that world existed outside of family pictures.  
A living room crowded with Christmas gifts, a garage with oil stains long forgotten, and the heat of an Arizona summer beating down on my ever pale skin. All of it was a memory.  
More snippets of time shredded my heart from where it hid behind the safety of my ribs. Hotdogs smothered with mustard at a little league game, freshly laundered clothes in a heap on the floor, and Sunday mornings lazily spent indoors watching cartoons.

For the millionth time tonight, my eyes watered as the shadowed memories flooded me. Their details where far too weathered away to recount and this made me achingly sad. I shifted my head along my pillow against the gravely remains of my comforter while the darkness all around me pulsated with grief.  
The wrinkled sheets scraped harshly at my skin as I thought of leaving my bed behind and the home where all four of us once lived as a happy family.  
Last year seemed like forever ago.  
As I thought this, an unbearable pressure began building in my chest.

I gulped loudly in the dark silence of my bedroom while I balled my hands to stop the sparks as my _balance_ teetered precariously. It would've been easy to explain away my tiredness on the eventful day earlier, graduation day, but it was so much more than that. Sure, pretending not to be a complete zombie vacuumed my energy and keeping it up all day long for Rene's sake really waned my ability to control myself. But if I was being at all honest with myself not seeing Charlie there, every time I looked up at Rene sitting on the bleachers, made the entire event feel like salt and lime in my wounds.

The finality of it truly drained me dry in ways that were almost cruel.  
The bitter icing on my cake, was that tonight was the very last night I would sleep in my old bed.  
We can't forget the cherry on top either. That tomorrow I would be traveling thousands of miles away from my mother, leaving her all alone in our ghost house.

I felt like such a shit bag.  
My mood turned darkly morose as I curled into myself wanting to simply disappear. Though the shimmering current flowing under my flesh was a constant reminder that I was still very much a useless mass occupying space. Drawing my knees closer to my body, I shut my eyes firmly and thought about my day in an attempt to entice sleep and to ward off everything else.

Graduating high school shouldn't have been such a torture, but it was.

Amongst my fellow classmates, bumping fists and exchanging numbers, I felt severely out of place all day long.  
It wasn't because of my _special talents _either. I knew deep down even if I weren't fundamentally different I would still be a person of nearly pariah status. There was a small group of people who tolerated me, but often I felt like a sucker fish on their underbellies. I think they thought my quietness was quirky and I had no problem letting them believe that, because I hadn't been at all interested in engaging any of them.

Aloofness suited me well enough throughout high scool. I was involved, but never _too_ involved. I simply faded into the background very comfortably.

My shoulder dug a little deeper into my mattress as I recalled seeing my mother's beaming tear filled face earlier today. She sat alone on the rickety bleachers with her camera flashing every few moments and wearing this look painted on her face that made me forget about my selfish discomfort. It was an expression that silenced my mental angst so that I could move down the proper isle at the proper time.  
It forced me to clear my mind and dumbly grin for every picture without a single grumble aloud.

There weren't any deep sighs or far away looks either.  
I hadn't seen my mother smile in so long and I didn't want to let Rene down by being myself. In my mind's eye, as the bed sheets pooled around me, I could vividly remember the way her big fat tears rolled down her cheeks and how she wiped them away with a fluttering hand.  
My moment of independence was unmarred by my normally horrendously clumsy demeanor and thankfully, I hadn't shamed her by landing flat on my ass. Some people had issues speaking publicly, I had a serious problem walking publicly.  
It was a miracle I hadn't slid off the stage while accepting my diploma.  
Nothing levitated around me and I didn't burst the blood vessels in my eyes trying to maintain my balance, so I counted today in general as a victory.

If only my list of wins could've compared to my fantastical scroll of misses.

Rene was the only reason I kept my gloomy temper tightly under wraps for the entire ordeal.  
And it _was _an ordeal.  
No matter my extreme discomfort, I did my duty and I walked across the stage before turning to smile at the photographer directly ahead of the podium knowing fully well that she would want to buy the pictures from the school. I wished I could've been beautiful for the photo, but I wasn't.

I was plain old Bella.  
With my starkly pale complexion, mud colored hair that never behaved, and flat brown eyes which were too large for my face. The only thing that could be considered special about me had to remain hidden at all costs.  
I remembered gritting my teeth through the ridiculous speech Jessica Stanley orated and wanting the entire time to sprint out of the gym, but I stayed seated because I couldn't rob her of the milestone she so vehemently clutched to. No matter the melancholy I felt, I kept my mouth shut and pretended nothing in the world troubled me.  
Rene deserved that much from me at least.

Without error or exceptional memory, I graduated high school and said goodbye to almost everyone I'd ever known.

All five of them.

During the course of the morning and well into the evening, I had either mumbled out the correct declarations or smiled politely when someone shoved me into a photo. All day long I was on a "happy" warped auto-pilot. Totally hollow I smilingly complied with everyone's direction, but the knowledge that I would never come back twisted my stomach into petulant tangles and made my finger tips snap with electricity.

And now, after all of that, I was too exhausted to sleep.

Gathering my bed sheets closer to my face, I continued to think about my long day and my murky future.  
Eighteen and with a paid ticket to New York city, I had virtually no plans. Joining some freaky underground society of like-minded mutants was probably out of the question, so I really didn't have much direction at all as to what would become of my life. I wondered quietly what Charlie would have had to say about that. My father wasn't a pushy man, but he wasn't a push over either.  
Something deep in my heart knew that he would be disappointed in me and in my selfish thoughts.

Even as I promised my few pseudo friends, I recalled about earlier in the day, that I'd see them again for holidays my statements were halfheartedly muttered in a rush to get away from the auditorium brimming with bustling graduates.  
Fundamentally, I needed to get away and never look back.

Again, I shifted deeper into my bed spread blinking back my recollections and scattered thoughts. I was all over the place and needed to shut it all off.

Gulping down the statically charged air I tried to regulate my breathing in a last-ditch attempt for sleep, but the deep breaths only burned my nostrils and scorched my throat. The clock above my window ticked loudly as the minutes smeared into hours while I stared into a shadowed nothingness just in the distance while I burned.  
Using the last bit of my remaining strength, I flopped onto my back. I brought the covers under my chin and exhaled noisily, tired of being with myself.  
A swirl of dark energy crept quietly down my spine as I silently fought it's force by simply not moving any more muscles unnecessarily.

No action was the best action when my inner _talents _cried out for attention.

Two anticlimactic hours later, I could sense my body giving up and my brain sputtering to a stop as the crawling at my palms became increasingly muted. I noted that the nasty taste of dirty penny also disappeared.  
My muscles near atrophy, I sighed out loud again.  
Though this time in relief.

Daring to move, I pointed my toes sharply. As I did, soreness rippled along the flesh of my calves and then up my back while my lungs concluded expanding on the tail end of my breath. Achy and tired I tried to doze off, as I listened to the ear piercingly deafening silence of my room. Even the mattress beneath me seemed to swallow me whole as if my bedroom itself was a giant lavender dragon roaring at me before unceremoniously gobbling me up. Digested by the exhausting reality of my now darkened existence and spit up by the events of the day, I braced myself for the impending respite.

Only a few seconds of clarity graced me as my lids half mooned over my eyes and my breathing grew shallow.  
Though I knew tomorrow would still be there, I felt relieved that for several hours I wouldn't think of Charlie and I wouldn't lament over the life I once knew.  
I wouldn't dream either and that was a good thing. Sleep overwhelmed my senses as my last fleeting thought fluttered through my foggy consciousness;

Tomorrow would be the day everything changed for me.  
Forever.

* * *

**_Please let me know what you think by leaving a comment.  
Thanks for reading :)_**


	3. Chapter 3

Morning seemed to dawn on my world a few minutes earlier than usual as my eyes snapped open to stare at the popcorn ceiling from where I lay in a pool of bed sheets.  
It felt like I'd only just fallen asleep.

As it did always did, the humming voltage under my flesh sprouted out from my fingertips to creep slowly along my forearms and then up to my elbows.  
The energy shot through my chest and raced across my shoulders before diving straight down the back of my neck. I winced as the buzzing pricked along my tender brainstem blistering everything in it's path while morning sunshine rays glimmered across the peaks and shadowed along the valleys of the outdated ceiling fixture in a cheerful manner.

Twisting my head to the side I noted the time my bedside alarm blinked in red digits, nine thirty. It was much later than it seemed, but still pretty dreadfully early, i thought to myself as I stretched my arms at my sides and curled my legs under me.  
I situated myself for just a few more minutes of sleep, but before I could even shut my eyes again the surging current sliced up the sides of my neck before attacking my brain with a razor sharp zap. My sleep swollen eyes bulged slightly in their sockets as the unwelcome power invaded my mind.  
"Okay, I'm awake. Jesus."  
I mumbled in a grumpy tone as I stretched my toes which now also prickled with the static sensation, though to a much lesser degree than my poor cranium.  
This morning even the soles of my feet were electrified with pent up unnatural strength.

_I need to exercise more.  
_I thought to myself.  
A deep scowl wrinkled my forehead as I tossed away the sheets. Getting up quickly, I could feel my limbs tingling with the sudden rush of blood mixed with that something _extra _just under my skin.  
I imagined the special substance dancing intimately with my blood cells, intoxicating them into a useless stupor.

Slinking around my room in a silent state, I noted all of my documents for my trip ready and neatly stacked at the corner of my cleared desk as well as my tote bag hanging from the back of my chair.  
Very few personal items were coming with me on my journey and then of course there was everything I'd thrown away.

Things that were sentimental, belongings there were once cherished, and even items that were truly beloved. I didn't want to think about that stuff anymore ever again, so I totally eliminated it.  
My eyes fell to my empty desk as I reached out to pass my thumb along my plane ticket's serrated head. It stuck out of the folded travel papers like a tall girl at a high school dance.

Not that I would know anything about that.  
I'd never been to a school dance in my life, and though I stood at a respectable five foot seven I had the gift of being able to hunch my shoulders well enough to disguise my true height. I spent a good deal of my time lurched over and in the background.

Life for me was a little fucked up and a lot depressing.  
My thoughts, starting _so _cheerfully this morning, made me frown deeply.

Yanking the ticket out of the pile, I scanned the page to view the changes I'd made last week. I had arranged to arrive at JFK in a little over four hours without any stops rather than the nine-hour trip I'd previously booked. It cost significantly more, but I wanted to explore the city without anyone worrying about me and, in truth, I also wanted those five hours to be really alone with myself.  
In black and white, the changes glared up at me making me feel rotten to the core that Rene didn't know a thing about them.  
I lied to the world and now I lied to my own mother. Folding the ticket and turning to my bag to jam it deep inside, I thought it was best she didn't know about the sort of bad person she raised.  
Shame rose to the surface of my mind like scum, but I stuffed my feelings down to focus on menial tasks instead of the open-ended questions my existence had turned in to.

I walked into my bathroom and emptied my mind. As the minutes ticked by I showered in water hot enough to scald my guilt away. I thought of nothing and made no noises at all.  
In the white billowing steam of my bathroom I folded a beige towel around myself after I'd finished bathing, violently brushed my teeth, and vigorously combed out my wet hair. Gathering my long brown tresses into a messy bun I looked at my reflection. The girl staring back at me was sunken in and lifeless.  
I hardly recognized myself.  
Disturbed by the realization, I looked away and exited my fogged up bathroom without looking back at my glassy purple ringed stare.

Dressing in a pair of once well fitted dark jeans and an oversized grey sweater I finally turned to the destruction I'd cause the night before.  
The branch like cracks at the bottom of my windowsill glared up at me in defiance.  
With a deep sigh, I focused on the wall while the energy flooded my veins.  
An electric shiver rolled down my shoulders as the pressure of tipping my balance clouded my senses.  
It took a pathetically tiny amount of effort to fix the concrete and in no time at all I'd mended my destruction. The only evidence that remained was a discolored dent where the cracks once were and a slight head high from the unnatural power leaving my body in short glimmering bursts.

Shuffling back towards my bed, I sat and quickly slipped on a pair of mismatched socks before yanking on a pair of well worn sneakers.  
After sloppily tying my laces I took a lingering look at my empty bedroom, the place where I had enjoyed countless hours of sanctuary, and tried to will away the gnawing feeling deep in my gut.  
My legs wobbled as I stood to leave.  
Without any sounds at all I quickly made my bed, the old-fashioned way, before grabbing my tote bag to shrug it over my head.  
Struggling not to think of the finality, I left my room for the last time in the forseeable future.  
The lump in my throat didn't let up and neither did the trembling of energy balling in my lower stomach.

I stumbled down the flight of wooden stairs in a blank daze. My body made the appropriate motions, but I wasn't really "there" for any of it which was a good thing.  
Emotions made me and my balance shaky.

Which was a very, very bad thing.

Once downstairs, my normally tittering mother was reservedly silent while we both ate crunchy cereal at the dining room table with two extra empty chairs and place settings.  
I didn't have much of an appetite this morning. After a few sweet mouthfuls, I spooned through my bowl of cereal allowing for my finger tips to buzz to life.  
The vibrations just under my skin made me close my eyes momentarily.  
Though it was only a matter of seconds until the milk turned gelatinous enough for the sugary squares to freeze in place. It was only a few more careless moments before my spoon became immovable as well.  
My hand flopped away from my spoon and into my lap, leaving the bowl alone with the metal utensil oddly protruding from the center.  
I twisted my fingers together.

Rene continued eating and didn't say a word.

Sunshine streamed in through the windows with boisterous cheerfulness while the two of us and my cereal bowl remained in shadowy quietness. All too quickly she was finished eating, her dish was cleaned, and mine was thrown out without any conversation.  
Just sad and tired glances were all she afforded me.  
We silently left the house.

Rene stoically helped me load my meager luggage into the cab of her trusty long bed truck, still stubbornly mute with a far off look pinching her face. I took a big breath of my mom's perfume, honey and sandalwood with a touch of citrus, while hoping to myself she would remain silent for the duration of the drive to the airport. Small talk would've been one straw too many on this camel's fragile and humped back I determined to myself.  
Hoisting my body into the faded cherry red and silver accented truck, I made the entire cab depress slightly as I entered. The beige leather bench seat hissed under my backside while I slammed the passenger side door closed.

Rene got in after me, shut her door firmly, and then started the engine.

We sat together in the stillness of the mid morning breeze, as golden rays twinkled across the rumbling hood in a positively ominous fashion.  
My own cowardice filled me to the brim while we both looked ahead at the old house and the gaping garage which still housed a work station and a tool bench.  
So many memories clung to the walls, to the exterior, and to the very soil of this modest dwelling. A ripple of pressure collided with the left side of my face and my palms burned as I felt my emotions climbing.  
I would deeply miss Rene, or at least the Rene she used to be, and I felt miserable for leaving her alone.  
But I couldn't stay here any longer, because there were far too many memories.

_Too many for me to handle.  
_My mind whispered as my gaze fell to my lap in shame for just a moment.  
"Shoot, I don't have the clicker."  
She muttered under her breath while she checked the vanity mirror flap, where she normally clipped it to, and then made a motion to leave the cab of the truck.  
Without much thought, I raised my hand and in a fraction of a second the garage door came creaking shut. The buzz of power streaked down my arm so quickly that goose bumps broke out along my covered forearms.  
My fingertips twitched in relief while I expelled a steady current of energy, but all too soon I shut the floodgates as the garage door gently came into contact with the earth.

Rene shot me a concerned look, but quickly replaced it with one of gratitude.  
As her eyebrows lowered to their normal position on her forehead, I let my hand unceremoniously flop back down to my lap.  
"Thanks."  
She said.  
I gave her an awkward smile and replied quietly in response.  
"You're welcome."  
I murmured as my shoulders made a tiny shrug while she cleared her throat and blinked rapidly.  
"Make sure you have everything you need."  
Rene softly said, turning her head slightly in my direction as she fastened her seatbelt.  
I opened my bag, which I still wore strapped across my chest, to inspect the contents without any words escaping my mouth. She started the engine while my head was still bowed.

I easily spotted my plane ticket inside the dark recesses of my bag.  
It was carefully folded into itself so that the arrival and departure times couldn't be seen, but floated atop the sea of purse junk.

_You are a liar and a bad daughter.  
_My brain whispered accusingly.  
I toed the grey floor mat with the tip of my black sneaker while I arched my head towards the gaping entrance of my bag, taking a little longer to be sure everything was indeed there.  
"Ready to go?"  
Rene asked me.  
"Yeah, ready."  
I mumbled and shut my bag securely.  
My dishonest double checking was finished and we were off, pulling away from the driveway and racing toward the airport. As we drove together I snuck sideways glances at her, noting how the shadows of the passing trees helped to cast a haunted purple gloom across her gaunt face.  
I felt guilt tugging me further back into the passenger side of the smooth beige leather bench we both sat upon as I _really _looked at her. Gazing through my soul somehow instead of my eyes.  
The locks at our doors sprung shut as I concentrated on the humming surfing across my knuckles and lancing my heart like the electric tentacles of an angry jellyfish. My trick was drowned out by the look of melancholy drenching her features.

She didn't acknowledged me, she only tightened her grip on the steering wheel and continued driving along the highway at a modest speed.

There weren't any traces of amusement at the corners of her mouth or in the lines wrinkling her eyes.  
Not today.

The sinking in my gut and the aching in my chest didn't relent even as I tried to ignore the facts that glared at me from just a few inches away.  
My mother's knuckles stretched against her flesh while her lips smashed together tightly, but she didn't break the thick silence between us and neither did I.  
The facts were clear. I was running away from her, from Charlie, and from the sadness that engulfed us all after what had happened.  
Never had I wondered so much about my own character as I did now.

Before I knew it we'd arrived at the airport. An hour _never _seemed so long or not quite long enough, as I contemplated the events that led me to this clandestine event. In a whirlwind we parked curbside at the terminal drop off area, unloaded the two stuffed suitcases, and idled the truck while we shared an awkward goodbye. Rene held me in her arms, longer than she ever had before, beside the car just outside the terminal doors.  
Unaccustomed to the warmth, I halfheartedly hugged her back while I fought the ache deep in my belly.  
The precariousness of my _balance _wavering slightly was enough for me to want this contact to be as brief as possible without hurting her feelings. I couldn't risk becoming unstable right before boarding an airplane.

So, with a discreet lungful of her perfume I patted her back uncomfortably while the pads of my fingers tingled. My nostrils flared as I relished in Rene's smell, savoring it's comforting familiarity. I tried committing her fragrance to heart while steeling myself against the humming ache knotting at the top of my skull and roping down to my extremities.  
Blinking back the stinging twinge of unshed tears, I squeezed her as firmly as I could muster and then stepped away while clearing my throat to speak up for the first time in an hour.  
"I'll call when I'm there, but it's going to be a long flight."  
I mumbled with a slight hitch in my voice as I curled my fist around the strap of my carry on bag which hung across my chest.  
"So, don't worry about me."  
I finished with a shrug trying to seem as nonchalant as possible while I avoided looking into her clear cerulean colored eyes.  
I felt her gaze searching me though, even as I shuffled my feet oddly.

Rene stepped back closer the shivering truck.  
"Be careful, Bella."  
She said above a whisper.  
I looked up at her as she smiled a sad ghost smile. A tense crease between her eyebrows marred her beautiful face in a way that was infinitely troubled.  
It was a crippling type of look she gave me, in it's forlorn transparency and guarded in it's boundless unhappiness. All I could do was nod my head in acceptance.  
The sad set of her lovely heart shaped face and jewel tone blue eyes made my heart clench with guilt as I thought of everything my mother had, and would continue, to endure.  
I'd always thought of her as the backbone, ram rod straight yet compassionately comforting, through the tragedy we all suffered.  
Looking at her now, the way her sapphire eyes gleamed with unshed tears and her bony hands wrung themselves together tightly, I wondered if my impression all this time had been painfully inaccurate.

I swallowed down the bad tastes rolling around in my mouth with an audible gulp as I watched her face force out another stiff smile meant to provide encouragement, but it only made my guts twist further. The pain of being such a coward in the face of life's inevitable truths was almost enough to make me vomit.  
Rene was the only one able to remain standing after the destruction of losing Charlie, but now it seemed like a gust of wind could shatter her to pieces.  
My stomach flopped as I took a few steps backwards, putting more space between us on the sidewalk.

The airport's automatic doors continually slid open and shut as the people milling around us shuffled through them in both directions.  
Checkered taxis and gleaming sliver buses waited idly at the curbs while little puffs of exhaust smog chugged into the air.  
Gazing down at my feet I muttered a quick goodbye before scooping up my duffel bag and tottering my wheeled luggage through the aforementioned doors.  
I could feel Rene's stare on my retreating form, but I didn't dare look back at her.

In a blur of self-reproaching dreariness I checked in my bags, walked through numerous security inspections, and boarded onto the stylized airplane to find the expensive seat I'd purchased. I peered down at the tufted leather monstrosity that looked more like a recliner fit for a giant and wondered if this is what my father imagined me doing with the hefty sum he'd left behind for me.  
The pressure at my temples thrummed to life as I thought of my father.  
I imagined Charlie would've never dreamed it possible of me to leave Rene and our home behind, especially after living with the secret that we all did.  
A light headache began brewing at the base of my skull making my neck and shoulders sting with soreness.  
I reached above my head to shove my sole carry on into the proper grey compartment before plopping down into the obscenely large airplane seat.  
All the while time around me ceased to exist, even as the other passengers trickled aboard and filled their designated seats, the minutes ticking by seemed totally irrelevant.

Shutting my eyes for a brief moment, I thought of finally escaping the only home I'd ever known.  
I didn't feel good about it.  
In fact I felt more like a sinking ship, split in half and drowning in the black waters of life.

A cheerful voice happily chirped out of absolutely nowhere breaking my concentration.  
My eyes snapped open with the slight shock.  
"_Please turn off electronic devices and secure all overhead baggage."  
_The corporately polished words came from a tall brunette in a smart-looking two piece navy suit with little silver wings above her left lapel and a periwinkle handkerchief tucked into her breast pocket on the right. She rattled on nasally and moved her arms to motion for the exits all while maintaining a freakishly wide smile.  
She held the little square speaker mic directly in front of her giant ass Mick Jagger mouth and continued talking animatedly.  
I tuned her instructions out and allowed my own thoughts to engulf me once more as I stared at my folded hands.  
The blood pumping down my arms mingled with the _extra_ something special I was always aware of, just under my skin, to make me feel a little too warm as I thought of the reason why I was leaving my home.

I didn't have any job prospects or college offers where I was going.  
Leaving town was simply to escape Charlie's ghost, Rene's ever-present sadness, and the old version of myself.  
I wanted to be in a place where I could blend in with others and not feel like every moment of my existence should be dedicated to some research documentary on circus acts. I desperately wished to be someone else, it didn't matter that I would have to lie my ass off.  
I was good at that, I'd had a whole life of lying to those around me.  
Since Charlie's disappearance, most things really didn't hold the same moral weight as they had before.

I knew deep down that this would've greatly hurt my father.

He had been missing for a year now, but somehow every day felt like the very first day without him.  
Empty, meaningless, and punishing.  
The littlest things suddenly vanished from my everyday life and their absence was as undeniable as they were intolerable.  
I longed to hear the creaking of his beloved green recliner, or the smell a freshly brewed coffee in the morning that he'd made, and I desperately missed coming down the stairs to see him somewhere in the living room setting up tiny obstacle courses so that I could exercise my abilities.  
I yearned for just one day of the normality I once knew, because it was the smallest of missing details that turned my world into the stagnant pool of muddy sludge water I now found myself drowning in.  
Nothing was clear and if I opened my mouth to scream for just a moment, I risked inhaling the toxic waste of my shitty life.

So, I remained silent about it all, but the truth was that I could scarcely stand the murky reminders of a universe that no longer made sense to me.  
Totally helpless against yearning for a return to those innocently naive times, my ability to cope was nonexistent.  
That led me full circle to where I sat now, in first class and trembling with enough tension to obliterate half the airport outside.  
I took a deeply cleansing breath while I fought the urge to release the waves of static rolling down my shoulders and into the palms of my hands, but I couldn't ignore the truths.

Alone, I was on the run and if I couldn't keep myself balanced then destruction wouldn't be far behind me.  
Independence meant taking care of my owns messes if it came to it and I prayed, silently to myself but still very vehemently, that it never ever would.  
Seconds might've passed or even hours, I wouldn't have been any the wiser as my downhearted trance warped the world around me while I sat slumped in my plane seat.  
I didn't know what I'd exactly do once I arrived in the city, but that seemed to be the very least of my worries. My fragile state of mind wasn't able to think beyond this very moment in time without imploding in on it's self.

At one point, I thought morbidly sincerely, my life had been almost picture perfect.  
With the exception of my deformity of course, nothing about that could ever be normal.

But I digress;

My life back then seemed like a sunny beach day on the eve of a turbulent hurricane, where the clouds enveloped me in a comfortingly warm embrace and the sand between my toes anchored me to the ground below securely.  
Then, without warning or apology, the winds of change scattered the debris of my existence all over the place. Chaos and havoc rained down on me heavily without any signs of letting up.  
Charlie was gone, Jacob had his new life, and then there was Rene.  
She wasn't the same without Charlie and as the endlessly uncertain nights had cloaked us both in agonizing silence, those first few months without Charlie, I feared she wouldn't ever return to her old self.  
There was no more singing in the kitchen or movie nights with big bowls of popcorn. The time for chipper lightness and breezy dreaminess was over for us all.

Suddenly and very unceremoniously, I was jolted away from my troubled thoughts by the dinging of the seatbelt sign.  
Then came the dimming of the lights in the cabin.  
Looking around in a daze, I noticed most of the first class seats empty save for a few scattered businessmen and a smart looking lady with her crated dog.  
I wondered quietly to myself why they hadn't upgraded any one from coach.  
Turning my head to see further back, being closed off by an electronic curtain device, I saw the much fuller business section. Twisting forward into my seat, I clicked together my seatbelt and shot a look over to my right.  
No one had come to claim the other huge seat beside me.  
I breathed a gentle sigh of relief.  
To keep myself distracted I quickly glanced towards the front, but the brown haired stewardess from before was nowhere to be seen.

My gaze skipped around the cabin.  
Freshly steamed carpets and wiped down surfaces seemed to gleam with cleanliness making it look like we were the very first passengers to fly her.  
I opted to peer out of the oval shaped window, but the grime stuck between the three panes of Plexiglas made me furrow my eyebrows as that little distraction failed miserably too.  
Smudges and particles crept from the edges like little fingers scratching to breakthrough to the other side.  
I lifted my gaze, darted it around to see if anyone was looking, and then refocused on the deceptively dirty window. Discreetly, I wagged my thumb through the air using the pressure of my gift to gently wipe away what I could.  
I had a tight control of the quaking energy, making it almost pleasurable to exert a little of it even if my remote cleaning didn't make much of a difference at all.  
Once the runway slowly began moving I stopped trying to chip away at the microscopic filth and instead concentrated on the little people below in bright orange vests who directed the pilot out onto the two lane air highway.  
I folded my fingers together in my lap as I struggled to zone in on their faces, but I couldn't make the blurs out into distinguishable features.

Soon, they were completely out of view.

Adjacent to a chain link fence and finally away from the docking platform, the plane started picking up speed as the honey dipped morning smeared by.  
My stomach lurched while I shut my eyes tightly, trying not to focus on the way gravity pulled me back into my seat once the airplane finally jetted up into the heavens.  
Up and up through the cotton ball clouds, my eardrums popped with the pressure inside the cabin until the jetliner straightened out several minutes later. Every strand of hair on my head quivered as my inner energy fought to escape me, but I contained myself.

Traveling supersonically fast I reveled in the silence of my own empty mind for what seemed like the briefest of moments.  
My dark thoughts struggled to catch up with the speeding vessel in hopes of terrorizing my brain several thousands of feet in the atmosphere where I'd have nowhere to run.  
Only a few seconds of nothingness slugged by before the thoughts bombed my consciousness in the most appallingly boisterous way.  
I imagined Rene alone in our darkened home, the phone hanging listlessly from it's bungee cord, and her glassy dead eyes gazing up to the heavens where my plane looped above.

Energy slammed the side of my face unexpectedly.

The filthy copper taste filled my mouth again and chills raked down my spine. Swallowing down roughly, I forced myself to forget the extreme guilt manifesting in my cranium by trying to think of anything else.  
Nothing came to mind as my shame took root, sprouted branches, and bloomed in full.  
Zagging through my nerve endings my ability tried to escape me, but I held firm and ignored it's persistent humming.  
Vaguely, I wondered if I could convince any of the air hostesses to give me some booze.  
I could've really used something strong to quell the twisting deep in my gut and the fiery burning at the back of my neck.  
A vision of myself being regretfully ill everywhere, just as I'd been every time I drank, careened into my mind.  
The notion of entertaining the other passengers with my retching sounds was ultimately the only reason I didn't try my luck with the stewardesses and the drink cart.  
Slouching further down into the dark leather chair, I closed my eyes trying to forget everything in the comfort of sleep instead.

I began counting backwards from one hundred and I kept my lids tightly shut.

_One hundred Mississippi._

_Ninety-nine Mississippi._

_Ninety-eight Mississippi._

_Ninety-seven Mississ-._

Turbulent darkness swept over me before I could finish.

Though it only seemed like a moment later that I was being ripped out of my delicate sleep by a jolt.  
I gasped loudly in shock.  
Anxiousness drained me in a split second, making me feel even more tired than before while the tips of my fingers zinged painfully.  
The airplane violently shook while the metal all around seemed to groan in frustration as air pockets smashed into the winged sides.  
My eyes flew open and my lips drew in a sharply loud breath, but sleep still fogged my brain making it impossible to understand what was really going on.  
Clammy and shaking, both my hands, which felt as though they weighed a million pounds each, heaved onto the armrests.  
There were coal hot points at the centers of my palms that nearly made me cry out in agony.  
My heart rammed itself up my throat in a futile attempt to escape my body like a desperate chicken with it's head cut of and it's neck valves spurting horribly.  
I dug the gnawed tips of my fingernails into the padded extensions in an effort to bring my equilibrium back to sustainable levels, they were so raw that I winced in pain.  
White knuckled, my fingers tightly wrapped themselves around the armrests while my lungs strained against the thickness of my hysteria as I inhaled in a sobbing rush.  
Panic welled up inside of me as I nearly clawed off the expensive leather upholstery just beneath my slicked and boiling palms.

Though as the foggy murkiness of sleep lifted from my vision I was able to see the other passengers perfectly calm and collected in their seats as they were when my eyes first closed.

With a wildly glassy gaze I looked around the cabin again to double check for signs of chaos, but I found none and no one seemed to notice me. Looking out of the aircraft's window I noted the glittering city stretching under a thick blanket of petulant clouds that hung in the air heavy with rain as the plane began floating down from the sky.  
Huge metal flaps on the wing further down the craft fluttered through the grey storm puffs in preparation to land as I swallowed my fear down in one hysterical cartoon gulp.  
In my own mind I tried to rationalize that I was only spooking myself, but the tingling weariness at the back of my neck and the apprehensive tightness across my chest refused to loosen their cantankerous hold over me.  
Paranoia surged through my veins like lava, which only pushed the force under my skin closer to it's bursting point.

Dropping my gaze to my lap, I began counting the breaths that stuttered away from my lips finding solace in numbers and repetition.

_One.  
_I counted internally as air swooshed in through my nose and out through my mouth. Gently, I uncurled my hands from the armrests some that the energy wouldn't melt the plastic or the leather.  
_This will work.  
_I declared to myself as I folded my hands in my lap.

_Two.  
_Again, I inwardly stated while inhaling deeply and exhaling fully. The stale oxygen smelled like sawdust shavings and old socks.  
I gagged slightly as my hands slid down my thighs to grip above my knees.  
_Please work!  
_I again thought to myself.

_Three.  
_My "cleansing" breaths were becoming increasingly frantic and I was sure a few beads of sweat had broken out along my brow to glisten in the orange sunrays floating around the cabin while I toiled to lower the pressure just under my surface.  
_This isn't working.  
_My brain lamented while I squirmed in my seat uncomfortably. I felt my anxiety doubling by the second.  
"Miss?"  
A musical voice trilled out the one word question.  
My fragile eardrums reverberated from the unnaturally high pitched tones, but somehow it was just what I needed to bring me back to reality.  
"Is everything alright?"  
The lady's voice asked and once more I left the rubber band of tension loosening within me. With a small grimace I commanded my body to respond in a lifelike manner as I opted to blink a few times, take a couple measured breaths, and look at whoever it was speaking to me.

The latter was a mistake I wished I hadn't made.

Shifting my dry eyeballs upwards was painful enough, but what I was met with was even more shocking to my already tender retinas and delicate psyche.  
A dazzlingly perfect complexion adorned with a frighteningly white smirk and curled false lashes beamed down at me with an expectant look.  
Two coal black eyes stared right through my body like she was trying to fry me like an ant under a magnifying glass with just a gaze.  
I blinked a few times, certain I wasn't seeing the onyx color properly. The gorgeously terrifying woman stayed perfectly still as I remained awestruck and silent.  
Her tight smile never waned though.  
It seemed to be permanently slashed across her too square jaw while her long platinum blonde pony tail hung over one of her shoulders like a dead mink stole. The blonde woman waited with her hands on her hips and a thinly disguised air of annoyance.

I muscled out another small, unsure smile, which twisted my mouth into an unnatural slant.  
I immediately regretted the action.  
My chapped lips felt as though they were seconds away from splitting open and my ears stung as the plane dropped yet again. The painted eyebrows on Delta Barbie jumped up into her ultra blonde hairline while her lips stretched even further up her outrageously bleached teeth.  
Teeth that seemed to be too large for the space they occupied.  
"We're landing, but press that button if you need anything at all."  
She cooed absurdly while uncurling one of her long talon like fingers to point up towards the command console right above my skull.  
Moving only my eyes, I followed her arm up to where she directed.  
Her nails were painted what should've been a friendly seashell pink, but on those long thin spears of flesh covered bones the color looked like the remnants of innards or the drippings of eyeball jelly.

I looked away quickly as my stomach turned.

Saying absolutely nothing, I was only able to bob my head like an out of control dashboard toy as I hoped quietly to myself that she would get the hint.  
Focusing on her name tag, I waited for her to leave me alone.  
_Tanya.  
_It read just under her wings in block lettering.  
She cleared her throat in a nasally way, shifted her weight to each modestly high heeled foot, and then sighed loudly in annoyance.  
A moment later I watched her fancy looking three inch beige pumps flounce back down the aisle away from me when it became evident to her that I wasn't going to be using any of my language skills.  
Her shimmering panty hose clad calves, which were of course shapely and utterly perfect, then disappeared behind me presumably to join the others in a side cabin for landing.  
I imagined she'd probably tell her fellow stewardesses that there was a mentally inept ogre sitting in A22 and have a great big laugh at my expense.

Exhaling roughly, I sat up a little straighter despite the rolling ball of thunder taking a bumpy trip down my spine.  
Unlatching my hands from the plush sides of my oversized seat, I tried not to picture Tanya and a harem of stewardesses boisterously mimicking me at some posh bar like the mean girls of a high school cafeteria.  
A lump formed in the back of my throat, one so large I thought I would surely choke on nothingness and subsequently die right where I sat, but I managed to swallow it back while the minutes ticked by.  
I willed myself through cloudy eyes to keep it together long enough to stay alive and while it was a Herculean effort I managed to control my baser instincts that besieged me to just give up the fight for good.  
Eventually, and very mercifully, the plane lurched forward in anticipation of it's imminent touch down.

My attention was raptly drawn to the screeching metal meeting the unforgiving pavement. The sound seemed too loud to comprehend and I wondered slightly how much of it was being amplified by my heightened sense of alarm.  
Looking around the cabin, I saw no one reacting at all.  
So, I suppressed my urge to shriek, straightened myself in my seat, and pinched my eyes closed while mentally chastising myself.  
The jumpiness I felt shivering up my bones affirmed my strongest belief. That I, Bella Swan newly eighteen and striking out on her own, was a coward beyond belief.  
Like a dirty alley cat, any little disturbance sent me into a puff tailed and scattering frenzy.

Fifteen minutes passed before everyone was cleared to freely move about.  
I used the precious seconds to convince myself that I'd done the right thing, that everything was ok, and that my new beginning was too near to turn back now. Those sentiments did nothing to quell my internal turbulence, but I said them to myself anyway hoping that they would at least resonate with the area in my brain that dealt with common sense.  
Steadying myself with a deep breath, I clicked away the seat belt and stretched my tiredly stiff muscles that protested loudly at the change of position.  
A deep cringe tugged my lips downward as the snapping of my joints sounded like cheap firework poppers being carelessly slammed against the ground.  
Standing at my full height, I felt nearly all of the blood in my body rushing away from my head and down to my limbs.

For a split second a frothy wave of sickness threatened to fade me away like writing on a sandy beach shore.  
The feeling was great enough for me to grip the plush top of my airplane seat and sway precariously were I stood.

_Don't vomit.  
_I pled with myself.

Clamping my eyelids shut, I took several deep breaths in an attempt to regain my balance and my wits.  
The extra air soothed my frayed nerves that seemed to be jumping and twitching on their own accord.  
Opening my eyes and fighting against the ever present zinging that hounded me mercilessly, I shuffled into the aisle with my head bowed.  
My joints cracked loudly, my muscles strained heavily, and my skin stretched painfully as I moved about.  
Ignoring the aching sting of my angry tendons and general discomfort, I attempted to collect my overflowing canvas carry-on bag from directly above my seat.  
I grabbed onto the handle while pressing the little protruding button for the release of the compartment's Lamborghini like door.  
The plastic lid made a high-tech whizzing sound as it slowly rose to reveal it's stored contents.  
My bag, which had of course shifted during the flight, was crammed all the way to the left with my eyeliner and a several other little items scattered around it.

With a rough sigh, I swept everything back into my tote.

Looping my bag's limp handles over my wrist, I yanked my luggage out of the cubby hole's mouth and quickly pulled down the lid to shut it with a secure click. My heavy carry-on sagged in my loose grip before I draped it over my tender head so that it could rest across my body just above my hip.  
The sheer weight of it tugging on my skin made me want to yell out in frustrated exhaustion. I rolled my shoulders from side to side, but nothing relieved the thick knot I felt bunching at the base of my neck.  
Commanding my feet to move I placed one in front of the other without incident down the aisle, away from the terminal, and directly to the baggage claim area.  
I let my legs lead me further and further away from the steel jet parked just outside the huge glass windows at my back.  
Big signs directed me, massive amounts of security herded me, and gigantic smells propelled me forward to where I needed to go.

Though I kept my eyes mostly glued to my worn chucks, I looked for the exits periodically and felt some degree of comfort that they were clearly marked in every direction I gazed.  
Incredibly, I managed to avoid careening into any of the many bustling bodies that polluted and congested every square inch of the busy airport.  
In fact, I found the crowd an excellent release of my energy.  
As I thought this, more bodies seemed to swarm in my path out of nowhere and with a flattened brow I pushed onwards.  
While I walked through the people I allowed for waves of my shimmering electricity to float away from my skin harmlessly.  
The gentle thrumming of power flowed through me in measured bursts that made the knots in my back loosen with every expulsion, but I kept the reigns tightly secure.  
When I was old enough to start school, I recalled with a slight twinge in my heart, Charlie taught me this very useful technique.

Granted I was home schooled for most of my education, but when high school dawned upon me Rene had insisted I go.  
So I went, but not because I wanted the experience, just because it was what my parents wanted.  
Throughout my unimpressive four years of high school, I'd depended on discharging tiny amounts of my gift to others to stay level enough.  
It had been a constant effort to retain my concentration so that I didn't ever focus on any one person.  
Of course, I'd learned that lesson the hard way with Charlie as my unfortunate guinea pig.

I ground my teeth together while I thought of that fateful afternoon years ago when I'd crushed almost every bone in his right foot.

The traumatic realization that I could harm someone just by losing control, especially someone so close to me, was enough for my young mind to never _ever _forget.  
I hadn't hurt anyone since and I hoped I never would again.  
The constant vigilance made me older through the years, much more cautious, and always incredibly suspicious.  
In my mind, someone like me could be in danger if I were to ever be exposed. Be it unwarranted fame or sideshow imprisonment, I never wanted to find out.  
Very carefully, I maneuvered through the swell of people zigzagging and darting like a linebacker as I delicately controlled the amount of tension I released.  
Each wave was measured like a breath.

Within seconds, I arrived at the baggage pickup area where I spotted my very new luggage in perfect succession creeping out of the square cut out leading outside.

_There is a god!  
_My brain rejoiced at the notion that I wouldn't have to wait around forever or worse yet, not get my bags at all.  
I didn't question my good luck, because the simplicity was just too glorious to tempt the fates.  
So, instead of pondering about my rare stroke of fortune, I eagerly stumbled forward closer to the conveyor belt that slowly carted my belongings.  
Finding an opening in the line of bodies several feet ahead of my bags, I looked around while I waited the couple of moments it would take for them to arrive in front of me.  
All around there were couples embracing, people head first in their cell phones, little kids messing with things they shouldn't.  
Families steadfastly arguing, unwashed trendy teens slouching, and glassy-eyed old people wandering. It was amazing that they all appeared to exist in their own universe, because I felt like a distant moon circling meteorites in the endless galaxy of my dark sorrow.

I couldn't imagine me, Bella Swan, as one half of the hugging couple or the determined business person marching through the terminal.  
My purpose was only to be insignificant and statically charged.  
Before I could look down the line any further my two bags slowly passed in front of my knees.  
Quickly, I yanked the floating gear up and away from the carousel before I pushed past the many bodies that swayed in the crowd around me. Extending the handles of one piece of luggage, I let the wheels slam to the ground.  
The sharp sound was lost amongst the noises of everything else around me.  
No one looked in my direction, not a soul noticed me, and nobody cared about any of the racket I caused.  
I felt nearly invisible and also possibly the most comfortable I've been all year.

With a _balanced_ center I slung my other bag over my right shoulder before I gripped the smooth leather of my rolling mallet and glided it under my humming palm. A determined breath, if a tad shaky, stuttered through my lips.  
Slowly, I began walking toward the exits with my plainly efficient bags weighing me down and my feet shuffling against the airport's spotted grey carpeting.  
Dragging my feet was mostly to create enough friction for the ground underneath to soak up the energy that circulated never endingly through my body, but also I trudged sloppily because I felt the heavy weight of ultra awareness slurping me up whole.  
I focused on the feeling leaving my body, tingly, hot, and cold all at once, filling my sneakers to leak through the soles straight into the carpets below. My palms trembled slightly as I mulled over what do to next.

_I'll call him.  
_I muttered inwardly while a feeling of trepidation clawed down my spine like Snow White hanging onto the bark of a tree that separated her from a blood thirsty pack of huntsmen below.

_I lied to Rene for extra time. I can not call him now.  
_My brain nearly wailed in anguish.

Guilt snapped and slashed at me, hungry for my heart on a platter as I thought of _him_. It seemed like forever ago, but I still remembered a time when he was my best friend in the most basic and honest form of the term.  
He'd kept my secret and protected me from exposure since before I could remember.  
My soul sank with the knowledge that things were no longer so simple between us, not like they had once been. I continued to scuff my feet along the airport's carpeting, as I walked in a zombie like state towards where I thought the exits should've been.  
While I slogged onwards, my mind replayed the last time we'd been in the same room with each other.  
It was to disjointedly chat beside Charlie's empty casket during his funeral and then across a potluck table that stretched for what seemed like a mile at his wake.

From that day I remembered the apples most of all, they were cherry red and shining on a pile stacked impossibly high in the center of the buffet styled bar.  
No one touched the ruby red cascade of fruit though, in fact I don't think one bite of any of the feast was eaten. The well wishers were far too busy mulling over the mysterious circumstances of Charlie's disappearance, as I recalled the dignified murmurings with a shudder.  
It seemed that day, to honor an empty coffin and a skewered memory, the whole city had turned out.  
Even citizens from several towns over had come to pay their respects to a man who went out of his way to help others.  
People who had been treated by Charlie at the local hospital, nurses who'd worked with him for years at clinics for underprivileged citizens, and countless others who I'd never seen before.

They were all in somber attendance, but the only person who mattered to me that day was there.  
_He _was there for me, _he _had come back for me, and only _we _knew the real Charlie. It was a mantra I chanted in my own head throughout the entire ordeal.

_They didn't know Charlie.  
_I drilled this fact into my brain as I recalled helplessly watching my father's vacant casket.

Just the three of us knew Charlie as the quietly shy and dryly sarcastic man who watched football religiously and single handedly destroyed fire alarms throughout our home. A pang of longing made my heart clench horribly as I wished to hear him, muttering curses while atop of a ladder at the guts of a little round detector hanging from the ceiling, just one more time.  
I darted my eyes and shook my head roughly so that I wouldn't think of how much I missed _him_, but the movement didn't dislodge the memories it only made the throbbing at my temples even louder.

Wisps of my tangled dark brown hair tickled my flushed cheeks, falling loose from my messy bun, as I struggled to forget the funeral and the wickedly hot anger I felt over it having taken place. With a great effort I forced it all out of my mind for just a moment, so that I could leave the airport with my sanity intact or at least with a few little pieces of it.  
Like a beacon of light, shinning through the turbulent black clouds of a storm, I saw the glowing orange sign flickering the word 'exit' several strides ahead of me.  
I wanted to cry out in relief as it came glimmering into view, but again I refrained from an outburst. Sucking down a huge breath, I pressed on towards the shimmering letters with my emotional and physical baggage trailing me like seven dwarves.

I imagined all of my issues as little forest people with shiny knob noses and cherub cheeks, gleefully clinking their axes together before hacking away at the coal of my rock hard diamond heart.  
Again, my chest constricted as I felt the sharp blows of reality trying vigorously to split the black stone keeping me alive. I pushed myself faster toward the row of automatically sliding doors which lead outside.  
With desperate eyes, I quickly scanned the crowd of bundled up people and their bulky luggage in front of several sets of frosted over automatic doors.  
I located the fogged glassy entranceway with the least amount of people and made a beeline for it. Holding my breath, I took a dive through the bodies as I pulled my load behind me.

I didn't trip over my own shoes once.

Remarkably, it only took me a few seconds before I was strolling, not tumbling, away from the huge automatic glass doors and onto the wet sidewalk. I exhaled roughly once I was outside feeling as though I'd scaled some great height.  
My victory was, as it always was, ridiculously short lived.

The early evening air was frigidly unforgiving once the giant doors cinched behind me and I found myself on the edge of an incredibly cluttered concrete square feeling more alone than I'd ever been. The biting damp wind scratched at my face and prickled the flesh of my neck, rudely awakening all my senses as though they'd been slumbering just moments ago.  
The sagging grey sweater I wore did nothing to protect me from the iciness as I took a good look around.  
I noted the taxis and busses glimmering with raindrops while they idled, lined along the curb either already filled with passengers or waiting for new ones to come aboard.  
I noticed the tail pipes of town cars huffing pollution from their wetly shaking mouths and police vehicles lit from within by computer dashboards.  
Ticking windshield wipers, what seemed like a hundred thousand pairs, swooshed in unison as an endless stream of people swirled around me like I was nonexistent.  
I looked around wildly, feeling more and more out of place as the seconds dripped by.

A tremble of power shot through my core making the fine peppering of hair on my arms stand to attention.  
Standing on the sidewalk with my belongings I tried to force myself forward,but my feet just wouldn't budge from the wet square of sidewalk they occupied.  
With a frightening ferocity, I felt the prickling of angry voltage explode all over my body.  
Beginning at the top of my skull streaking all the way down to the soles of my feet as the moments dripped by. While I struggled with myself, a huge gust of icy air slapped me viciously making my cheeks flush hotly and my balance teeter perilously.  
Burrowing deeper into my oversized sweater, focusing on anything other than what was happening to my body, I noticed a pulsing rhythm of collective horns and street lights further off into the distance leading towards the city.  
I stayed motionless and wide-eyed like a deer blinded by the glowing orbs of my own mortality as the buzzing all over my flesh became background noise once more.

My jaw slackened slightly while awe overtook anxiety in one fell swoop.  
Countless bodies wove in and out of the jam-packed lanes, some screaming into telephones as they skirted cars and others simply floating through the traffic while plugged into whatever other electronic device they were enslaved to.  
A deep blanket of navy draped over the hanging glass awning, but there wasn't a single star insight just the tall blinking red towers that stood impossibly high to guide the aircrafts.  
Obnoxious yellow, cough medicine pink, and powder blue fliers littered some gutters while others gleamed pristine without a crumple of trash or a smattering of leaves to be seen.  
Two rival vendors, with their carts decorated strangely, faced off at the opposite ends of end of the street corner.  
The entire scene felt so foreign, like the world around me was alive and thriving while I withered in silence holding everything I owned in three pieces of luggage in my buzzing grasp.

Anxiousness rippled down my stomach in waves as I struggled to connect with the present, but like a goldfish with a broken fin I crashed against the rocky edifice of the murky darkness in my attempt to soar above the abyss. In a trance, I watched the bustling airport drop off area with eyes the size of saucers.  
I felt more displaced than ever as I stood rigidly on the sidewalk and for the first time since Charlie's disappearance, I longed to be home.  
Of course, somewhere deep down I knew that the home I remembered no longer existed.

Deeper my heart sank as irrational fear gripped me.  
Without thinking of it any further, I reached into my canvas bag with trembling fingers and frantically fished about for my phone.  
My arm dug vigorously for the cell phone until my digits came into contact with it's smooth rectangular plastic casing.  
A sigh of relief escaped my lips unexpectedly, before I pulled it out of my bag in one fluid motion. I silently marveled that it was all in one piece as I looked down at it's blacken screen.  
Gripping my cell, I pressed the center button making it quickly buzz to life in my palm while the dusky early evening moonbeams struggled to peek out from behind night darkened and gloomy clouds.  
With the tip of my pointer finger I jabbed my lock code, ten thirteen, and then quickly scrolled through my contacts list to find the number I needed.

I highlighted the name, one of only about eight listed, and pressed the phone to the side of my face. It warmed my cheek pleasantly while the wind howled past the ear that wasn't occupied.  
The line rang loudly as I held my breath and shifted my weight from foot to foot.  
It wasn't long at all before technology facilitated me in the direction of a familiar voice.  
Three melodic gongs and I was connected.  
"Hello?"  
The deep rumble of his voice fluttered around my brain as my pulse raged with a mixture of fretfulness and relief.

Air huffed away from my lips in a noisy gush.  
"I'm in New York."  
I blurted it out.

* * *

**_Thanks for reading! _**


	4. Chapter 4

As I waited for a response from him I felt my tongue swelling in my mouth strangely while my heart swung from each of my ribs on it's way down to the bottom of my stomach.

_I shouldn't have called. This was a mistake! I should've waited and stuck with the plan.  
_My consciousness lamented loudly, resounding in my skull and shaking my eardrums violently.

On the other end of the line I heard the dull white noise of a television and the pause of an unsure breath.  
The icy city air swirled all around me as my teeth snapped together and my jaw tensed while the tiredness in my bones nearly froze me in place.  
I wondered if it were humanly possible to crumble into dust because I was sure that if someone bumped into me I would shatter like a thinly blown plank of glass in a sweltering kiln.  
Down the line I could hear Jacob's deeply rich voice. The sound made me blink dumbly as the universe around me spun busily on it's axis.  
"Bella, I talked to Rene yesterday and she told me you wouldn't be here until later tonight."  
Confusion and worry laced his words.  
I could feel my heart hammering away in my chest while I tipped my head backwards to gaze up through the glassy overhang.  
"Uh, yeah. I didn't have any layovers."  
I mumbled the truth, partially, while the terminal drop off area of the airport grew even more dense with swarming bodies.  
My fingers curled around the phone a little more tightly as I began gnawing at my bottom lip in a distractedly rough manner.

A thickly smoggy smell wafted towards me, making my nostrils flare and my stomach flop as it wrapped its tentacles around my lungs to squeeze viciously.

Trying to focus was almost impossible as a surge of energy zipped through my veins like a million volts of electricity.  
Even the tops of my ears stung with the shocking realization that I was nearly twenty-four hundred miles away from home and, instead of feeling liberated, I felt utterly destroyed by the heavy burden of lying to everyone I loved.  
"Please tell me you've at least called mom."  
He rambled on as I blinked back the murkiness and straightened my neck so that I could look down at the sidewalk.  
"Bella?"  
His panicked pitch broke my trance like a pebble skipping along the surface of a placid black lake.  
I knew Jacob's talking wouldn't end until I spoke up with a plausible explanation and a reasonable solution.

So, I lied to him through my teeth.  
"Yeah, I talked to her about changing my flight this morning and I _literally _just spoke with her right before I called you."  
The words flowed freely from my lips though my voice sounded a little too pinched.  
Nevertheless, I proceeded on with the deception until I almost believed it.  
"I'm getting a cab to you now."  
I said as I wrinkled my nose and lifted my arm to rub the tension out of my left temple. The entire side of my face felt like it was on the verge of collapse, but the need to lie to my brother overwhelmed me.  
He, of all people, would've understood if I'd told him the truth.

I felt much more comfortable in the shadowy obscurity of my lies, rather than exposing my actual cowardly motives especially when it felt like my fingers were about to begin a sparkling light show at any moment.

_You're so fucked up.  
_My thoughts turned on me, whispering nasty sentiments and cutting commentaries.  
_Abnormal and so fucked up_.  
I cruelly continued to myself while I pressed the phone closer yet to my face.  
I 'd purposely misled Rene into thinking it would take me several more hours to arrive. Hoping that the extra time might allow me to revel in my independence unburdened by homesickness and free from my cursed talents which I could unscrupulously pass off to unsuspecting innocent people.

All of the above was factual, I was officially the worst person I knew.  
Unfortunately, I hadn't counted on also being the most cowardly.

I found myself almost unable to move my body from the sidewalk just outside the airport's constantly sliding automatic doors as fear and panic pierced me with a multitude of tiny pinpricks all over my body.  
Jacob exhaled a short huff of air into the phone before speaking in an amused tone.  
"You don't have to tell me the truth, but you're a terrible liar."  
He chastised me like he did when I was smaller and the memory caused me to swallow thickly before choking out an apology.  
"I know."  
I sheepishly sighed while my eyes rolled up to the heavens. A blanket of icy cold oxygen seemed to sag heavily around me while anxious energy soaked me down to the bone. I felt the frigid surroundings numbing me down to my toes as I tried to focus on holding the boiling hot phone to the side of my face.

The contrasting temperatures made me slightly dizzy as I spoke up again.  
"I suck."  
I dead-panned.  
Then with a deep breath, after my admission, I attempted to be honest.  
"I'll call her later I promise, but right now I just want to get out of the airport."  
That was the best I could do and as I waited for him to say something I silently berated myself for not being able to come clean.  
A deep pressure behind my eyes made me reach up to pinch the bridge of my nose in an attempt to relive the ache.  
I squeezed my eyes shut and then reopened them to shake away the pulsing pain of my ever mounting weariness, but the dull headache didn't let up. My hand flopped back down to the handle of my rolling luggage.

I heard Jake chuckle in a slightly bemused manner, the sound made my ears prickle and my intestines twist with nostalgia. I'd listened to him laughing many times before, but hearing it this time felt different.

The energy flowing throughout my body froze in its place abruptly as I heard the sound. My body swayed slightly where I stood as he cut his chortle short so he could speak once more.  
"Okay, be real careful and just give the driver the directions I emailed you. They'll never find the place with just the address."  
Jake said before taking a deep breath to continue.  
"And Bella?-"  
Jacob asked.  
"Hmm?"  
I hummed in response, but he'd already begun speaking on the coattails of my throaty noise.  
"Don't get lost, just come straight here."  
He finished in a serious tone that made my forehead crease further.

I knew what he was getting at.  
He didn't want me to risk exposing myself in a moment of tension or panic, I guess neither did I.  
Not that I actually thought the police would come for me with a straightjacket if I did, but I imagined something much worse. Like shocking someone to death or being filmed electrocuting something by accident.  
My brow twisted further as I thought about the Youtube hits something like that might garnish.  
The skin at the sides of my face stretched unnaturally as I grimaced lightly. I was sure the muscles working overtime underneath my flesh would slither out through my ears at any moment in protest of the strenuous labor I had been putting them through.  
I imagined myself melting onto the sidewalk in a sloppy puddle of slippery organs and gelatinous goop, but I blinked away that horribly disturbing thought when I felt my insides twist.

The two of us worked through a quick goodbye, we hung up, and then I hailed a marigold car with my twitching fingertips.

In moments I was being greeted by a grubby looking cabby hustling out of the driver's side of his car to where I stood on the edge of the curb with my arm up in the air like some sort of bad WW2 propaganda snap shot.

I lowered my arm immediately.

The gruff little man, who'd dashed out of the yellow checkered cab, was short on words, height, and hair. As he silently helped me haul my baggage into the trunk of the car I spared a quick thought of gratitude to the heavens above for his detached manner very much doubting that I could've handled an overly friendly tour guide.  
I woudln't have fared long at all if he'd begun asking me questions about where I come from or where I was going to. All I wanted was find my brother's apartment and check out of the real world for at least eight full hours.

I felt more tired than ever.

In a flash I was encased in the backseat and timidly handing the cabbie a sheet of paper I'd pulled from my heavy tote moments prior. He read the directions silently for a moment before hesitantly bobbing his shiny bald head in acknowledgment.  
As he moved the wooden beads covering his seat rolled around like a million empty snail shells.  
The cab driver fastened his safety restraint before curling his fat little fingers around the crackling steering wheel.  
Angry wire like hairs covered his stretched white knuckles.  
With a severe expression, the cabbie stared ahead while I shifted my oversized bag higher up my hip to I click my own seatbelt into place. In the corner of my gaze, I noticed the tiny boxed meter to his right blinking two dollars and fifty cents in bright red digits even before the car began moving.  
With a loud gulp I settled solidly into the wine colored bucket seat, patched in some places with duct tape, hoping that the ride wouldn't be too costly.

Not that it mattered how much it would be, Charlie made sure I'd never have to worry about money again.

None of us would ever need for anything, my dad made sure of that.  
I felt sick again just thinking about it, but I couldn't stop myself.

I remembered, very much to my dismay, the staggering amounts of mystery money left behind by Charlie and the complicated stacks of papers presented to our family just weeks after his disappearance.  
His detailed wishes were precisely outlined in the eye bulging legal contracts.  
The memory made my hands clammy and my knees bounce while I tried to stop my mind from pouring over the details.  
Again, like so many times before, I just couldn't help myself from doing it.  
From where I sat quietly tucked in the backseat of the cab, I mulled over the facts for the billionth time since Charlie vanished.

More money than I could've ever imagined my dad having, exact details as to how to disperse those huge sums among the three of us, and strict instructions that no deviations should be taken from the plans he'd lain out.

None of it made sense, yet it was still my reality.  
My twisted, _fucked _up reality.  
It was like he knew something was coming, and I knew I shouldn't have given his memory hindsight, but it was almost as though Charlie himself understood that his time would be short.  
I swallowed roughly hoping that wasn't the truth I'd find, if I found any at all.  
Again, my legs bounced as I lifted my arms to frantically dry my sweaty palms on the worn knees of my faded blue jeans.  
The left side of my face tingled horrible as my balances swung erratically like a monkey in a mansion.  
I imagined it leaping inside my body, using my intestines like fancy curtain vines and my organs like sparkling chandelier jumping points.

Out of nowhere, a creepy crawling feeling rolled over my skin making the fine little hairs on my arms stand to attention as though I were being watched.  
Without a second thought my eyes snapped to the back of cabby's head and the little fringe of hair he had left highlighting the dome of his bald cranium.  
I wondered vaguely why he bothered to keep that tiny strip.  
A splatter of liver spots glimmered like speckled copper shavings, but I gazed past them to see his purple ringed stare inspecting me using the rearview mirror as his microscope.  
The stout driver looked at me strangely.  
I could see him, through the comical reflection ahead, moving his wiry eyebrows in a confused fashion before he quickly diverted his attention away.  
In a fraction of a second, and without really looking ashamed at all for his open examination, he pulled from the curb to jam the vehicle into a tiny opening in traffic that had magically appeared.

I looked down at my hands now twitching in my lap, feeling odd and disliking the attention even though it had only been for a brief moment.  
His scrutiny directed to the road, it was safe to float back into my own dark world of questions and puzzles as I sunk further back into the seat.  
I zoned out just to fully appreciate the momentousness of this very car ride to my brother's New York home.

Everything was so surreal.

The air around me crackled and sparked as waves of power escaped my grasp in tiny bursts. There wasn't a doubt about it my entire life was on an uncertain course, but at least that course was far away from Arizona and all the painful memories that overshadowed all the good ones.  
I sucked in a huge breath of static filled oxygen, the extra something in the air made my lungs work twice as hard.  
With a restricted huff, I pushed further back against the cracked burgundy seating.  
The car steadily moved at a moderate speed toward my desired destination as I mutely observed the glimmering stop lights along the background of the smoggy early evening sky.  
Raindrops hung onto the wrinkles of the tinted windows like a million refugees clinging to their last hope of freedom speeding across the black abyss.  
The windshield wipers upfront swept away the unlucky ones in a rhythmic and unforgiving fashion.

I watched as the water spheres hurled to the road and exploded upon impact.  
Looking out through the fogging backseat passenger window I saw people moving continuously along the side of the taxi cab, their brightly colored clothing smearing across the uneven sidewalk horizon like nothing I'd ever seen before.  
I sat and wondered if this had been a good idea after all.  
A frighteningly sloppy gurgle bubbled up my throat making me clamp my teeth together even more tightly.

_Now what? What am I going to do now?  
_My brain repeated over and over again until I felt green with car sickness.

I swallowed the vile thickness forming at the base of my throat with a noisy gulp, but the questions weren't as easy to get rid of.  
Crossing my legs and intertwining my hands, I toiled to keep it together both metaphorically and physically while my guts twisted agonizingly as worry wracked my mind.  
I wasn't an impulsive person by nature, but rather a comfortable reserved one.  
Nothing about my personality screamed adventurer. In fact, aside from my little secret, I might've been the most boring person I'd ever known.  
Liking more the company of books and music instead of school events or mall rat activities.  
Yet here I was, in New York City, making an entirely new life for myself with the tainted money provided by Charlie's mystery will.  
Not that I'd made any plans past escaping Arizona, mostly because I wasn't really good at anything other than being invisible and partly because I didn't really know who I wanted to be.

My desire for accomplishment or achievement was pathetically nonexistent, but I couldn't altogether blame that on my father's disappearance.  
If I was being at all honest with myself, I knew that those feelings brewed within me for a long while before his absence.  
I clasped my statically charged palms together.  
Ten nearly sparkling, intertwined, and bony fingers clamped tightly atop my pointed knee while I thought of my terrifyingly uncertain future.  
There was a whole city for me to explore, but that thought didn't rouse what I imagined it would within me.  
Only finding the truth made me feel anything other than the horrible suffocating melancholia that was my other constant companion.  
In fact, I felt nothing in the pit of my stomach when I thought of possibly seeing new sights or learning new things about life. Not even a tiny little spark to alight the dryness of my brittle insides.

A large sigh escaped my lips as I quietly tried to rationalize with myself that there were colleges, people to meet, and endless job opportunities here. None of those things chipped away at the stony edifice of my secretly solid resolve.  
I longed to be released from the never-ending hamster wheel of utter hopelessness and only knowing the truth, I felt, would ever set me free from the endless tedium I found myself in. Thoughts like these I never dared to entertain while I lived with Rene, but I needed to _know_.

I needed to know everything, so that I could be normal again.

Well, as normal as possible.

Since Charlie's disappearance I thought of almost nothing other than finding out what had happened to him. Again, I felt a crippling ache inside my chest.  
His memory kept me awake most nights.  
The mounting need to know what happened to Charlie, was so powerful that even when sleep did finally grace me for a fleeting few hours I woke up to the same reality.  
Some people might've called it denial or bargaining, whatever it was lived within me like a colony of feasting and fat maggots.  
The unknown ate away at me until I was sure that there'd be nothing at all left of me. I needed closure and I knew the truth would be it for me.  
The possibility of finding out about my Dad's untimely end, unencumbered by my mother's fragility, was the little flame that gasped to life behind the towering wall protecting my tender heart.

That flicker soared to life inside me.  
A part of me knew completely and totally that I'd encased it ever since he'd disappeared.

I hadn't ever really let it die out.

The thought of finally knowing made my eyes sting and my belly burn. Living in New York meant I could remotely research police files, call my father's closest partners for information, and pour over every last detail until _something _made sense.  
Someone like me, with the power I had, could get things just by being at the right place at the precisely right time.  
I was sure of it.  
My unnatural influence could work, for once in my life, to my advantage. The strength coursing along my skin hummed in determined agreement.

It had been a year full of torturous hope that refused to be stamped out and while I did wish it to be true, that Charlie would just show up one day, I knew that it wasn't ever going to be so.  
Not without my interference anyway and if he was dead, my stomach sank as I thought this, then he would stay dead regardless of my investigating.  
But if he was alive and somehow in need of me, then I would find him.  
Taking a deep breath, I again recounted all of the bizarre events after his disappearance.

For one there was the money.

More money than I could ever use in an entire lifetime, set up for me in a mysterious type of trust fund.  
Each month a massive sum of money, one with an obscene amount of zeros and untraceable sources, would magically appear in my back account. I recalled my father's lawyer, Mr. Smith, and how he very carefully explained that should I ever need a lump sum larger than what I would regularly receive I should contact him right away.  
Mr. Smith, just as vanilla as his name was, barely remained in my memory. I could only recall his dull navy blue suit and the way he warned me about drawing attention to the type of money I'd inherited.  
Oddly enough, he gave no solutions as to where I could smartly keep it and after all the papers had been signed he was gone just as quickly as he appeared.  
All that remained now of Mr. Smith was his bizarre business card, which only had his telephone number printed in tiny little black digits across the center.

The little white rectangle remained unused tucked away in my wallet.

I thought further about the precise instructions for Charlie's funeral and the vanishing of all his items at the Hospital, like he'd somehow anticipated never returning to work or to his home ever again. Even in his study, things had been cleared out by my own father and the inconsequential items which he chose to leave behind were boxed up by the cops before I could even blink.  
Nobody could answer any questions and it drove me insane with pent up frustration.

Finally, I thought of Rene and Jacob.  
Through the entire ordeal they both seemed calmly detached and reservedly sad while I was quite literally the wet clump of balled up hair found at the bottom of a bathtub. I sopped uselessly while it all happened, but inside I was boiling alive.  
It seemed to me as though the both of them accepted the loss like it was in some way an inevitable end, but I couldn't let it go so easily.  
Jacob came back to Arizona briefly last year for Charlie's circus of a funeral, but in a way he'd been witness to my funeral too. I felt badly from my brother and the weight he shouldered that day. Jake undoubtedly remembered the old Bella, the shy bug eyed girl who would amuse the whole family with _magic_ tricks.  
The new person I'd morphed into, a darkly quiet and intensely private person, wouldn't be allowing _the old Bella_to make another naively innocent appearance ever again.

Life had force-fed me an indigestible chunk of rotting flesh in the form of Charlie's vanishing and it made me continually sick.  
Something, some previously undiscovered piece of me, hardened and I doubted I would ever feel the warm security of knowing things in my life were constant or reliable. It was a sad and withering thought. I hadn't been the only one to change though.

Jacob was always a peculiar person, quick with a joke and handy with anything mechanical, but the day we buried Charlie's empty casket I saw a different side of him altogether.  
One that seemed much older than his years.  
What I remembered most was the way he held Rene, like she was a small child in the arms of a haggard and tired man, while the service for our father droned on never endingly.  
It was an odd and out of place sight, despite being at a funeral.  
Jake had always been _different_.  
Not like me of course, but in the way that meant he was a golden boy to everyone he'd ever met.

Throughout our childhood it was always apparent that Jacob was the outgoing loveable one and I was the weird mumbling loner.  
Him and I had almost nothing in common other than our parents.  
It was a disheartening realization then and it was even more so now that Charlie was gone and Rene was a useless shell of herself. The cab drifted to the left while I thought back to the day of Charlie's funeral.  
I could recall perfectly how Jacob had dressed in a smart looking suit while I'd dressed in a disparaging pair of jeans and paint splotched sneakers.  
I remembered the way he'd greeted everyone by name and graciously thanked them for their well wishes as I slinked in the shadows, disappearing from the intolerableness of talking about my Dad in the past tense. He'd been touched by the condolences while I became infuriated by them. We were poles apart in every aspect and when Charlie disappeared that fact was driven deeper into my wounded soul like never before.

As I sat in the backseat of the cab, stone faced and contemplative, I tried to forget the ache in my chest. Losing Charlie was like setting fire to a rope bridge connecting me to reality and I doubted that I could ever again make my way back to it without him.  
I struggled to forget his memory to ease my own flaming discomfort.  
In fact as I sat in the back of the cab, I toiled to ignore everything, but nothing extinguished the embers singeing my insides and burning me mercilessly. The coal hot memories all having to do with Charlie sizzled into self pity while I gazed out of the cab's water splotched window with a heavy heart.  
I thought of my rubble filled world and what would become of me amongst it's smoky ruins.

The car jerked suddenly, breaking me out of my thoughts momentarily while the breath escaped my lungs in a rushing gush.

Reminiscences scattered like ashes along a twirling wind while I looked around in an off balance stupor to investigate the cause of the interruption. Directly in front of me the gruff driver muttered angrily, in a language that could make anything sound obscene, as a grouping of people passed within inches of the front of the car's yellow nose. Curiously I stretched my neck to see over the cabbie's shiny bald head toward the scene that caused the horrible words to slither away from his mean little pursed mouth.  
I saw the irritated onlookers ahead scowling at me sharply as the driver beat on his steering wheel with two chubby little hands in a frenzied state of indignation.  
Gulping loudly, I slumped back down into my seat avoid their annoyed glares.  
The discs in my back clinked together to pinch my nerves while I scooted down the length of the burgundy seat cushions until I couldn't see their faces anymore.  
As I moved a sharp pain slithered down to my toes making my eyebrows knit together in barely restrained suffering, but I ignored the ache and the desire to cry out.  
The car lurched forward once again.  
My body shifted as we took a turn east, again my bones seemed to clink together in a way that set my teeth on edge.

Instead of groaning out in overall discomfort, I swallowed back thickly and re-situated myself snuggly into the already warmed leather to continue my musings over my disheveled life.  
Those thoughts allowed me to forget about my physical pains only to assuage my senses thoroughly with a different type of torture.  
I didn't know which was worse, so I suffered in silence with the latter and mulled over my cowardice in calling my brother the moment I'd set foot into the real world.  
Several minutes crept by before I craned my neck above where the door met the window.

I could no longer see the towering corporate buildings, but instead I observed the crammed stacking of domestic dwellings and local one level businesses.  
The wine colored bucket seat beneath my jean clad legs squeaked under the shift of my weight as we turned east before heading up a street lined with beautiful brownstones and tall modern apartment buildings.  
Neatly hedged trees popped up from the cement sidewalk every few hundred feet and in between those loomed gleaming hunter green lamp posts. Only a few jacket clad bodies were out on the sidewalk being haloed by the golden glow from the thinly elegant street lamps, a stark contrast to the bundles of crowded people I'd seen just moments before.  
My heart clenched as they passed from my view, completely unassuming and blissfully ignorant of my inner grief.

I tried to imagine myself as one of them, giggling and chatting closely, but I couldn't trick my mind into the scene.

Again, my chest constricted.

It was a miracle I didn't drop dead from the horrible hurt that pulsated throughout my entire body while I began my introverted ponderings once more.  
I thought of Jacob and his new life. The new life I'd be encroaching on until I found my way, however long that might take.  
Our relationship had always been understatedly sweet, but by no means monumentally deep.  
I hoped quietly to myself that moving here wouldn't be a complete disaster. Though no amount of hoping allowed me to push my anxiousness aside.  
The cab sped onwards to Jake's apartment and while the scenery ebbed by, my emotions scraped down my flesh leaving me a bloody mass of pulp slouched over the seatbelt.  
All around me were the beautiful streaks of steel buildings far off against the horizon and incomprehensibly untouchable swirls of motion dancing across my window.  
I focused my vision while I drew in several measured breaths.

Some town homes, I noted had glimmering bronze spiked fences expressing outlandishly aggressive sentiments on an scale previously never before witnessed by yours truly. Their manicured steps and tightly shut doors screamed to "_stay the fuck away!_".  
I didn't feel offended, I understood completely and I appreciated wholly.  
Quickly, within a few blinks, a totally new scene came into view.  
Edifices with contradicting colors, cheerful pinks, post office paper browns, and creamy canary yellows, smeared across my line of sight like a sloppy scoop of Neapolitan ice cream.  
They were smashed together, one after the other, leaving only the tiniest of spaces for a hidden dumpster and a cardboard box home every few blocks.  
The urge to rub my eyes in disbelief was strong, but I refrained fearing that the electricity pricking my finger tips might burst my eyeballs.

With a furrowed and pensive brow I noticed the buildings flashing by becoming more and more relaxed.  
There weren't any transition or borough signs, only a jarring change that came swiftly to morph the scenery.  
First the gates vanished, then the sidewalks gleamed a little less cleanly, and finally at least a hundred potted plants began springing up seemingly out of nowhere. It only took a couple more blocks, before the cab seemed to be skipping through alternate universes, each one clumsily jammed together with the next.  
Windows with funky stained glass, huge front doors painted in radically stylish colors, and trees snaked with Christmas lights even though the holidays were still months away.  
I saw the corners of buildings chipped away with time and blackened storefronts papered over with orange eviction notices.  
This part of New York cooed Bohemian righteousness tempered with a bleakness that was just barely visible under the surface.

As more buildings, more alleyways, and more eccentric shops glided across the cab's tinted window, I felt marginally comforted.  
The inert messiness of the mashed together buildings reminded me of a simpler time in my life, when everything, for the most part, seemed tritely basic and blissfully effortless like the mismatched door knobs and plastic flap mail slots of the street we were cruising down.  
The car halted to a stop at a red light, while the pangs of heartache left me nearly breathless in the backseat.  
I couldn't get a grip on myself, not even if I wanted to, so I just allowed for the emotions to swallow me whole.

My chest seized as longing filled me to the brim.  
I would've given anything to revisit the past for just a few moments when Charlie existed and my family made sense to me.  
I'd happily surrender all of my possessions if I could've been a different person back then, one who lived a totally different and satisfactory life.  
It was an unfortunate truth that my dad's disappearance was only the cataclysm of the change that had always existed within me, but still I recoiled at how absolutely lonesome I'd become since then.

The car began moving once more as the traffic post at the opposite end of the street beckoned green.  
I felt the shift of velocity pull me closer back to the seat while I imagined myself as someone completely different.  
Someone who maybe wore colorful scarves and invited her throng of friends to her hard earned apartment for tapas.  
However, just as those thoughts crossed my mind I could see my reflection flashing across the cab door's rain splattered window.  
Two skinny jean clad legs, a sunken in midsection under a sewer colored close knit crocheted sweater, and a tired old heroine junkie gaze.  
The ugly truth stared me dead in the eye.  
I rubbed the tips of my buzzing fingers against the jagged points of my knuckles as I gazed further than my reflection and into the passing distance.

An ominous night sky steeped the rows of puffy clouds overhead in deep dark hues of plumb which stained the horizon.  
The faint outline of a silvery waning moon barely broke through the dreariness. I chewed my bottom lip, ignoring the sting of the raw flesh under my canine as I took everything I saw in and thought about what my life had been like before Charlie went missing.  
Back then I was less afraid of what made me different and far less angry about it.  
A year ago felt more like a lifetime ago.  
Growing up in Arizona meant the sun was shining even on your worst days, the desert was always a dry paradise even when everywhere else was a burning inferno, and the night sky was always blanketed by billions of twinkling stars ready to listen to any problem imaginable.  
I now knew _those _romantic views of the universe were ridiculously childish, but back then nothing was too idealistic.

Especially when magic existed.  
Of course it wasn't Mickey Mouse magic, not by a long shot.  
Whatever lived inside me was both good and frighteningly horrible all at once, but I didn't want to think about it so closely because when I examined the degrees of lightness versus darkness, the bad always won out.  
From a brief moment I shut my eyes.  
Taking a deep breath, I imagined the feel of warm summer sunrays hitting my bare shoulders.  
In an instant, the flesh under my sweater zinged to life.  
I knew that it was the unnatural energy surging through my veins that made it so, but I pretended for just a split second that it wasn't.  
My heart grew glum as I tried to relive those moments of quiet abandon and whimsical enthrallment from my youth, but I simply couldn't.

I felt hardened and cynical.

And nothing else.

I sighed deeply, letting my shoulders rise almost up to my ears before falling to a stooped slouch once more.

_Magic.  
_My parents never used the word for what I was capable of, but sometimes in my own thoughts I couldn't pick a better one to describe it.  
I could easily create something from nothing, bend things to my will, and destroy objects just by the pressure of my desire.  
That sort of power was frighteningly volatile.  
It quite literally knocked me on my ass if I didn't tightly regulate the situations and when my emotions got in the way things became even more complicated. In my mind's eye I remembered the very first time I'd made something out of nothing.  
I was thirteen and it was the dead of summer.  
Thinking back I could almost recall the way the sun had beat down own my shoulders as it beat down on me mercilessly.  
It had been a particularly dry few months with temperatures rising to the triple digits, but my butterfly minded mother determined it was perfect weather for gardening.

Rene and I had spent all summer trying to plant rows of wildflowers and tropical trees to no avail. Even the cactus collection pushed to the side of our patio seemed deflated and thirsty.  
This was also the summer I was told I would be attending public school. That little fact nagged my thirteen year old mind.

I also remembered being frustrated at the wasted efforts all summer long to plant a garden, but I didn't say anything because Rene, regardless that her mother daughter bonding experience nearly gave me heat stroke every day, seemed pleased nonetheless to just be out there with me.  
So I worked, day in and day out with the sun boiling me and the anxiety of starting school bearing down on my shoulders, along side her to plant the unsuspecting flower bulbs.  
The last thing I could recall from that day was the final crisp and dried up flower bud I'd dug up with my gloved hands.  
Everything we'd planted was either spat out by the dusty earth or left to shrivel up and die in the holes we had so lovingly dug for them.  
I tossed the last petrified seedling, just as I'd done to the numerous others, into the trash basket beside me and sat back on my heels while sweat dripped down my neck.

Then it all went black.

My mind was wiped clean until I woke up, a day later and at least ten pounds lighter in my bed.  
Of course my parents had been terrified, Jake had been astonished, and I was just down right confused the first time it had happened. I remembered perfectly the cautious way they all ushered thirteen year old me outside to the back part of the house, where Rene and I had been working.  
We stood there, the four of us, gawking and silent.  
Wild flowers in every color imaginable, sun flowers at least three feet high, and tall luscious green grass billowing in a wind that hadn't blown all summer.  
Charlie had to put up a fence that year, because even when winter came the flowers and prairie grass didn't die.

Thirteen had been a rough year for me, aside from being able to create tiny eco systems in my backyard, I was able to hear better, see better, and think quicker.  
Unfortunately for me, a home schooled and shy teenager, starting high school with those kinds of talents only made things worse.  
I could listen to the disgusting things Mike Newton would say about me whenever I'd walk into the cafeteria and I could see the masticated food stuck in Jessica Stanley's braces as she shouted for me to come sit by her.  
Everything was pretty fucked up back then.  
When it came down to it I wasn't special, like Charlie and Rene had always said, I was a freak with more power than anyone one person should ever possess.

That was what it boiled down to then and now.

My loss of innocence permeated me in a way that made my very soul sink with unhappiness as I re-learned this lesson over and over. The gift under the pine tree of my life didn't seem like a lovely surprise any longer, but instead it was an ugly knitted abomination of uncertainty that tempered my fear to intolerably itchy levels.  
With another deep breath I descended further down into my seat while my energy charged palms heated to an almost unbearable temperature. Before I could think up another round of depressingly self imploring thoughts, the vinyl seatbelt jerked against my collar bone.

I blinked back the fog quickly and suddenly I was where I needed to be.

Focusing my vision, I gazed out of the raindrop frosted backseat window to look up towards a beautifully manicured apartment building.  
A lovely walkway lined with a towering gate which had twirling wrought iron bars extending out to the sidewalk connected the impressively tasteful building to the world before it. My eyebrows knitted together, wondering where the urban easiness of the previous street had gone.  
The brick face of the building gleamed pristinely under the shining light of a polished and regal looking lamppost.  
Turning my head to look down the rest of the street I noted no Christmas lights on any of the trees or funky potted plants, but instead there was an almost militant like uniformity as far as the eye could see. I wondered, still buckled to the backseat while the cabbie maneuvered into a tight parking space, why Jacob had picked this street.

The previous ones, with their airy lightness and mismatched building materials, seemed much more comfortable than the floor modeled and picture perfect edifices facing me now. Each building on this block was painted in non-offensive neutral colors which were almost pleasant and if they hadn't seem so precisely painted I'm sure they would've been.  
But their lines were too crisp, not one splotch was out of place or sloppily done.  
The rooftops were threateningly bare, without any traces of stray lawn chairs or kitschy barbeque domes mucking up their almost level skyline.  
As I stretched my neck to look further back, I couldn't help but think how bizarrely empty the streets were and it was this fact unsettled me even further.

Not a soul strolled the sidewalks and nobody sat on the stoops, everything was eerily still.

There wasn't even the slightest flash of light that flickering through any of the windows that checkered every couple of feet between the bricks. They all appeared to be tightly blacked out by rich looking curtains.  
It was like a ghost town in the middle of the city. There was something very odd about the quietness all around me, it seemed to tint the air.  
With a twisted brow, I observed several of the building's front doors trying to determine what exactly didn't feel right about the sleepiness.  
Each foreboding and hugely dark entranceway loomed not at all beckoning someone to come in, but rather demanding them to enter at their own risk.  
"This is you?"  
The cab driver questioned with a thickly accented disbelief, breaking me out of my inspection.  
I turned my attention back to my building and blew out a long breath while I read the black numbers curling above the door to confirm it to myself.

_2400.  
__No mistaking that.  
_My inner voice was as resigned as my outer one.  
"Yeah, this is it."  
I said.  
The cab driver bobbed his bald cranium in what seemed like a hesitant acknowledgment while I began to unbuckle my seatbelt. With stinging finger tips I pressed the red button to release the backseat's restraint.  
It slithered back to where it came from as I wondered why he was so skeptical. I shrugged, not thinking anything of it mostly because the heaviness of my exhaustion began once more weighing on my shoulders. Even the tops of my feet, tucked away in my sneakers, felt sore and tired. To the driver's right I saw the ticking meter come to a stop as the cabbie slapped the top of it to signal the end of the ride.

Blinking rapidly, I cleared my vision to be sure it said exactly what I thought it said.

The little black box of a meter glimmered out fifty-two dollars and fifty cents in bright red digits.

_No mistaking that either.  
_My mind sneered out while my mouth ran dry at the slight shock of having to spend so much on a short car ride.  
Before coming here I knew it was going to be expensive. Even though I now, thanks to my father's sketchy will, had more than enough money to live off of.  
It was just the principle of the thing that made my eyes bulge slightly. Fifty bucks was a lot of money to someone who tried to buy most of her clothing from thrift shops I mused quietly to myself.

_Had we really driven that far?  
_I thought to myself as I gingerly reached into my bag, which still hung at my hip and draped across my chest.  
Digging into my bag with my twitching fingers, I searched for my wallet.  
While my arm explored, I let my eyes drift back up to the structure I'd now call home.

As I looked at it, I stifled the wave of nausea that nearly made me sick in the burgundy colored backseat of the cab. I didn't feel good about the building at all, but not for reasons that I could exactly pinpoint.  
It's artfully sculpted moldings curled around the ledges and outlined each corner making it look like it had been piped by a magnificently large and steady hand.  
In short, it was utterly glorious.  
Maybe it was the otherworldly flawlessness and the stunningly sheer beauty of the place that made my guts curl into themselves or maybe it wasn't.

I didn't know.

There certainly was something _more _about the unreal building that made the ends of my hair gently, in an almost undiscernible way, float around.  
Chunks of curls slipped out of my already messy bun, the tips of the tendrils all stood to attention like I was drifting through space or swaying at the bottom of a pool. Just like a panic attack, the symptoms came fiercely and without warning as

I quickly lost control of my unstable balance.

In the blink of an eye, my entire body became nearly radioactive just under the surface as I sat with my arm elbow deep in my bag. With shaking hands, I rapidly swept my hair back up into a slightly tighter messy pile.  
Nothing could compare to the cocktail of emotions that instantly swirled in a explosive dance within me.  
Moving with a newly urgent purpose, I began frantically jostling my bag around to find my piece of shit wallet.  
I needed to get out of the cab and away from anyone I could possibly hurt.  
As my hair began breaking free from the hair tie once more, I realized I needed to do it quickly.  
My eyes darted around as once more I noticed that there weren't any people actually around, except for the poor bastard driving me. I imagined myself pulling his lifeless body from the front seat in my minds eye as a sharp slice of pain stabbed at my left temple.

A shiver rocketed down to my stomach as I struggled to keep breathing properly.

_Calm down!  
_Inwardly, I shouted at myself as my balance shifted from being well under control to being at an almost nuclear reactivity status.  
I pictured the cab driver's family, his wife who wore an ugly scarf round her gray streaked curls which knotted just under her chin and his rugged son, who had made something of himself in America because of his father's sacrifice.  
I imagined _anything_ so that it wouldn't be a remote possibility I could actually hurt him.  
This is what I hated the most about my _talents_.  
Very much without my permission, they took me to dark places inside myself that I didn't want visit and there was never any way to anticipate which direction I'd blow up in.  
My heart hammered against my ribcage as I rapidly began losing feeling of the left side of my face.

With a great shake of my heavy tote my zinging finger tips finally came into contact with the metal zipper of my money's jailer. A painful shock rippled through my hand as the silver zipper head came into contact with my flesh, but I ignored the momentary zap and yanked out the little fucker without any further obstacles.  
I drew in a quick breath and blew it out through my flaring nostrils like an angry bull wildly stampeding down a matador packed alleyway.  
Meanwhile, the totally unhelpful cab driver watched me through the rear view mirror with a confused look stringing his furry eyebrows higher and higher up his greasy forehead.

I chose to ignore him and his eyebrows.  
Instead, I forced myself to focus on acting as normally as I possibly could while the strength of my energy threatened to turn me into a supernova right where I sat. A few deep breaths, several vision clearing blinks, and a gentle cough to clear my throat made things a little easier for me.  
Rolling my shoulders counter clockwise once before twisting my neck the opposite direction a few times until I heard the cracking of my joints, I forced my body to move coherently.

First, I unzipped my wallet.  
_Well done, Bella.  
_My inner voice was a dick.  
Next I handed the cab driver his money, tip included, being very careful not to touch him with my electric fingers before opening the car door and finally stepping outside.

_Victory_.  
My brain sarcastically breathed as my skin absorbed the icily damp night air.  
Streaks of voltage shimmered along my skin wildly while I concentrated on regulating my breathing in an all out effort not to explode like an atom bomb.

_Just take a beat.  
_I struggled to imagine my father saying and I could almost hear him, but I couldn't conjure up his face.  
He was only a blur of a person and a whisper of a voice I could hardly remember.  
My stomach flopped as I swayed slightly.

I let my arm dart out to hang onto the widely ajar cab door so that I wouldn't collapse onto the sidewalk underfoot. Somehow I needed to get it together long enough to collect my bags so that the cabbie could drive off safely.  
Deep ribbons of red hot pain scratched down my neck while the energy flowing through my veins turned nearly molten.  
I shut my eyes tightly for a second so that I wouldn't dissolve the car door in my grip.  
Reopening my lids a second later, I saw it intact.  
A shuddering breath escaped my lips.  
Somewhere far off, I registered the sound of the trunk being popped open.

The tiny sound echoed through my ears until it was incredibly loud while I took several deep breaths in an attempt to center myself.  
I needed to move, but once more I found it impossible to take control of my own limbs. It was like clinging to the side of a cliff with just my fingernails, where even the slightest gust of wind could either send me plummeting to my death or swing me back onto solid ground.

_This is pathetic.  
_As my malignant mind whispered, I could see just up ahead that the bronze door handle jiggled ever so slightly as if it were about to spring open at any moment.  
My eyes zeroed in on the movement while the energy froze in my veins suddenly. The small distraction was like an accidental hip bump to a record player.  
Right as the rising orchestra of my overwhelming ability threatened to blow the speakers of my mind, the song skipped and my eardrums were saved.  
I sighed roughly as the tiny reprieve allowed me to shut the car door with a very careful and restrained hand.  
It was a miracle I hadn't melted the metal right in my palm, I thought to myself in complete seriousness.

After all, I'd turned car doors into goop a few times before.

Even though my fingertips were on fire, I managed to focus on the building's door which creaked open in ultra slow motion. I squinted for a better look, ignoring the nag of voltage begging to escape.  
With a crinkled nose and a bleary gaze I was almost sure I saw the entire frame of the doorway shivering like a living thing.  
I blinked back the delusion, noting that it was probably my blood pressure soaring that made my eyeballs shake inside my skull.  
From where I stood, with the cab door shut behind me and both my feet firmly planted on the edge of the sidewalk, I could see the huge slab of carved wood swinging widely before a shadowy figure billowed into my line of vision.  
The dull pain at the side of my face dripped down to my throat, almost choking the wind away from me while I teetered on the balls of my feet.

I could see him properly as soon as he walked away from the shadowy over hang of the looming building. I felt myself align enough to take a step forward and a deep breath inward.  
The early night air tasted faintly of snow, but none had fallen.  
I noted to myself as I looked on at him.  
Standing seven inches past six feet, Jacob slinked across the threshold as though his size were of no consequence at all and glided towards me one long stride at a time.  
The ends of my lips tried to curl up in a welcoming smile, but my body refused cooperate, instead I could only muscle out a small grimace and even that made my entire face ache.  
I inspected him as he came closer. Jacob looked more wild animal than mere man.

His jean clad legs limberly took steps without fumbling at all while his bare muscle roped arms swung at his sides briskly. He looked like he could burst through brick walls or pound concrete into submission with his fists and as he drew nearer to the car, I felt a temperate calm douse over my frayed nerves.  
The feeling of being secure in his presence wrapped around me snuggly like an old blanket.  
With every step he took to close the gap between us, I felt aching burn at the side of my face slowly dissipating and soon the tops of my shoulders relaxed enough for me to allow them to drop slightly.  
I stood up a little higher as the feeling in my fingertips returned, the steady zing was still there but it wasn't lava hot any longer.  
Another long breath escaped my lips in relief as I watched him from where I stood, swaying on the balls of my feet and unthinkingly chewing on the corner of my bottom lip.

Jacob's relaxed smile never faltered.

As he ambled over to where I stood, I observed his white t-shirt and how it seemed to glow brightly against his sparkling tan skin like the frothy bubbles on the crest of a dark ocean's churning waves. I furrowed my brows at him, deeply perturbed at his physical faultlessness.  
My eyes dropped down to the ultra clean sidewalk while my mind wondered why I hadn't been the one to inherit a year round tan.  
It seemed I was haplessly unlucky when it came to genetics in every way imaginable.  
My gaze flickered momentarily to my hands which fidgeted with the strap of my tote bag.  
The chalky whiteness of the skin stretching across my knuckles belonged on a corpse, not an eighteen year old girl. I felt old before my time and I was absolutely certain that the whiplash inducing speed of my highs and lows was accelerating my demise.

The energy coursing down my spine fizzled in agreement.  
"Bella."  
The sound of Jake's voice tore me away from my morose thoughts as I looked back up at him.  
He said my name in a cheerfully husky tone as he drew near.  
Before I knew it, he was in front of me with his massive arms stretched out, palms facing up towards the dark sky.  
The action made my heart tug and sputter.  
I forced my legs to move.  
"Hey."  
I muttered while I stepped into his embrace and sucked down his familiar smell. The scent was subtle, like early morning dew drops or freshly turned earth, as it wafted up to my nostrils in wispy tendrils.  
I shut my eyes for a moment to commit his smell to memory once more as Jacob's sure arms enveloped me tightly.  
My hands hung onto the strap of my bag as I lost myself in the warmth.

He rubbed my back with his oversized and rough hands in a comforting way so that the friction of his palms allowed me to expel some of the energy tingling along my spine. I felt overwhelmingly grateful, but I couldn't voice my thanks above the lump in my throat.  
Jake gently soaked up as much voltage as he could, but before I could feel my balance returning to manageable levels he removed his hands.  
"Let's get your stuff."  
He said as I exhaled a breath I hadn't realized I'd been holding and nodded my head, too exhausted to speak.  
I tore myself away from him, but not before I noticed the way he clenched and unclenched his fists, probably because he wasn't used to the feel of the energy transfer any longer.  
This small action made me desperately sad that my relief was at the expense of his discomfort.  
I tried not to dwell on it, but the interaction left a stale taste in my mouth that made me swallow in a cartoon-ish manner as the two of us walked towards the already open trunk of the yellow cab.

Jacob quickly collected all of my luggage, leaving me with nothing to do other than to move out of his way, as he slammed the lid shut with one huge hand. He gave the side of the car two knocks with his palm before it sped off into the wet cold night.  
Peeling out, the squealing tires echoed throughout the empty street.  
Soon the beaming ruby tail lights were just little pinpoints in the distance and before I knew it they'd completely disappeared around an avenue.  
I could hardly believe the cabbie felt the need to drive so recklessly out of a seemingly safe enough neighborhood, but I didn't think anything further about it when Jake broke into my thoughts.  
"You packed light."  
He mused good naturedly with both pieces of my luggage swinging from just one of his hands as I gazed back up at him. The cold night air swirled around us, whipping up his familiar fragrance and tousling my messy up do.  
"Yeah."  
I scoffed in reply as I used my buzzing fingertips to brush the insistent flyaway curls being tossed around by the icy breeze.

With a warmly zinging palm, I raised my hand up to my face to tuck the ringlets behind an ear in a movement that was more out of anxious habit than actual necessity.  
"That's good. Mom mailed me some stuff last week."  
Jake continued with an eye roll and a small chuckle at the tip of his tongue.  
"She sent a ton of shit."  
He unleashed a blindingly white smile in my direction while I gazed upwards, my heart tugging inside my chest at the familiar sight of his dimpled playfulness.  
"Oh, great."  
I rolled my eyes and lamented almost as genially, but it fell short as my sarcasm wafted upwards like the stinky guts of a rotted pile of fish carcasses.

With a deep shrug of my too thin and far too tired shoulders, I pushed out a slanted smile at him in acknowledgment of my innate awkwardness. It was a silent apology for being somewhat uneasy about communicating.  
His jade colored eyes never examined me curiously though, almost as though this type of behavior was exactly what he expected from me.  
Jacob jostled my two pieces of luggage around in his huge grip like they weighed nothing at all while we simultaneously blew out a long breath.  
His, of course, was an easy and happy lungful while mine was a heavily perturbed slurp of oxygen.  
Still, our joint puffs of icy air glided up to the heavens as we stood outside in the freezing cold.

It felt weird being in his company after all we'd been through together and what we hadn't been together for.

So much was unsaid and I hoped that it would remain that way for as long as possible.

Jacob had established himself here, whereas I floundered for my place in the universe and now I was on his turf encroaching on his life. I couldn't bear the potential conversations pertaining to my plans, because I simply didn't have any.  
I'd never _really _had any.  
Plans, in my mind, were for people who could at the most basic level trust their own body and rely on the limitations of their abilities.  
None of that applied to me when I could microwave anything with just a touch of a finger, dissolve things with just a passing thought, and create the impossible from less than nothing at all.  
The only plan I ever had was to keep the above mentioned talents, and those not stated, in tight check at all times.  
"Cant you joo joo us upstairs?"  
Jacob asked me with a smirk and a sideways glance.

My previous thoughts scattered as I registered his words. Blushing furiously, my eyebrows nearly floated away from my forehead.  
He knew I could _"joo joo"_ us anywhere, but I opted to be obtuse.  
"Seriously, Jacob? That's the first thing you say?"  
I said with hot cheeks while looking up at his spirited green eyes, which were crinkled at the sides in muted laughter and fringed with sandy brown lashes.  
His summer kissed hair was perfectly barbered while his fashionably furry eyebrows quirked in delight.  
Jacob looked like he belonged on the cover of a magazine rather than being a living, breathing member of society.  
One who was inexplicably related to me nonetheless.

In an instant I thought of all the things fundamentally wrong with me as I took a good long hard look at my brother.  
The strange olive skin tone he'd always boasted glimmered healthily making his sharp twinkling smile stunningly stand out.

It was almost blinding.  
He exuded self-confidence in a way that seemed like it simply oozed from his every pore.  
I tried not to look directly at him. It was difficult to imagine we'd come from the same parents, next to Jacob I felt like a barnacle on the bottom of a crummy old ship.  
"It's not joo joo."  
I mumbled while I desperately tried not to crack a genuine smile at him fearing that my face might quite literally snap in half if I did.

Jake shrugged his shoulders as he cast me an unapologetic smile, before trotting back up the wet walkway towards the stairs of our building's stoop.  
"Whatever you say."  
He muttered under his breath with his back turned to me.  
I commanded my feet to follow him even as tiredness made the back of my legs prickle horribly. My spaghetti legs felt wobbly beneath me while the soles of my feet ached to be let loose from the prisons of my shoes and to top it all off, I could still feel the heat of my ability pressing against my flesh eager to be released.

For a brief moment I was grateful that it probably wasn't possible for my blood to spurt from my eyes like a gruesome pool toy.

_Probably not possible.  
_I reassured myself silently as Jacob ushered me up the steps and then opened the giant front door for me to walk inside.  
Another angry gust of frigid night air whipped through the doorway, scattering the loose strands of hair that had escaped my messy bun in the cab, while he shooed me into the lobby.

An errant and uncomfortable chuckle gurgled up my throat and broke free from my lips, echoing up the dimly lit lobby area while the door soundly shut behind us. Nothing made me more nervous than the dark and it was nearly pitch black when we entered the building.  
It was a matter of seconds before the nervous impromptu little noise died quickly on my lips as my eyes adjusted to the dimness and I began to take notice of my surroundings.  
Power surged up my neck as my eyesight sharpened, a mildly useful trick of mine that didn't put anyone in danger of being shredded to pieces or fried to death.  
Of course there wasn't any guarantee I wouldn't start shooting laser beams from my retinas, but it hadn't happened yet.

So, I counted supersonically charged eyesight as a lesser evil.

My long eyelashes fluttered as I took in my surroundings. Immediately, with my vision amplified to the slightest degree, I viewed the lobby with huge pupils and straining eyelids.  
I could barely understand what I was seeing. It was a totally different realm altogether, like tumbling through some magical wardrobe and into an amazingly morbid land of wonder.  
Gently glowing copper tipped sconces dotted the corners of the vast lobby space and wilting floor lamps pushed against the furthest walls flickered duskily, but they did nothing to illuminate the room.  
Instead they seemed to be slurping away the remaining bit of light from the space like a drain guzzling dirty bath water.

To my right, mail slots glinted metallically.

They were each numbered, not named, in regimented lines that stretched from end to end of the wall. Surely, I thought to myself, there couldn't have been so many people living here.  
After all the building's face only had so many windows and stories.  
I imagined myself just moments ago standing in front of the edifice, but I couldn't recall how many windows there had been. I looked back at the little mailboxes and quickly counted seventy-two in pairs.

An exact total of a hundred and forty-four slots. Even with my heightened vision, I had to blink back the surprise.

_That can't be right.  
_My brain whispered.

This building wasn't a high rise, it housed probably no more than thirty people within it's outwardly suburban walls. A hundred and forty-four mail boxes, all with individual keyholes, seemed pretty excessive.  
I recounted them quickly once, and then once more, but the staggering number remained the same.  
Unable to make ends or tails of it, I tried to focus on anything else, but not without making a mental note that I would revisit the mailboxes to count them yet again.  
Maybe when the sun was out.

I darted my eyes to the left, hoping to see something normal like an elevator or community cork board, but I didn't.  
Instead what came into view was a distorted, but I imagined vastly breathtakingly beautiful, dark tile mosaic just under a pair of lazy sconces.  
Two leather hunter green sitting chairs and a tiny little glass magazine table blocked the middle section of the art, making it somewhat obscured, but I saw enough to understand the mural's intricacy.  
More energy shot through my brain, giving me a slight buzz, as I tried to sharpen my gaze even further.  
The feeling wasn't totally undesirable, though I refrained from avidly enjoying it when it occurred.  
Anyway, it was a useless effort as I couldn't _really _see any of the wall in the dim light- the almost nonexistent and subtracting light no matter how much I strained my ability.  
The tiny swirling ceramic bits, which covered the huge expansive space in undulating waves, were utterly jaw dropping if only by their combined size.

Jacob shuffled behind me while I gawked at the dungeon like lobby with my mouth slightly agape and my heart hammering in my throat.  
The foggy humming of my ability zapping my eyeballs probably didn't help the situation.  
If I wasn't almost positive that sharpening my eyesight by surging my power straight to my head wouldn't cause my brain to turn to jelly or have some other horrible repercussions, I swear I'd do it all the time.

And maybe I'd play some mood music, smoke a cigarette, and knock out for a change of pace.

But as it were, I was too frightened to feel _that _much.

Maybe it was the long trip tiring me out or the fact that I'd nearly exploded in the cab like a human bomb just moments before, but my thoughts ran wildly while my body worked on cruise control. I shook my head to try to knock my balances back into place as I continued walking through the lobby.  
My forearms broke out in goose bumps as clarity registered enough for me to truly appreciate the inside of the apartment building.  
It felt pretty fucking spooky.  
I concentrated on the decorated wall, with at least a million of those tiny tiles shimmering blackly in the darkness.  
The fleshy marble floors underfoot swirled around me eerily and reflected a nearly angelic golden light.

A loud and shuddering breath jumbled away from my lips as I spoke up.  
"Wow."  
One word was all I could strangle out while my sneakers squeaked against the glossy veined floors.  
I wasn't having trouble adjusting to the dimness any longer and I'd toned down my slight head high, but somehow I still felt blinded by the unexpected opulence all around me.  
It was almost too much for my frayed nerves to handle.  
The strangeness of the building, the stress of my journey, and the feverish circulation of unnatural energy throughout my body left me feeling like a single raindrop could've shattered me to pieces.  
Jacob chuckled heartily.  
As the noise rang away from his mouth and then over my shoulder to tickle my eardrum, my tension didn't dissipate.  
It only churned further in the pit of my belly while I continued to look around in sickened enchantment.  
"Yeah."  
Was his simple response as he nudged me towards a dark medieval looking staircase, though his encouragement was completely unneeded.  
My eyes briefly dropped to the tops of my black sneakers, which were moving on their own accord directly towards the monstrosity of a staircase.

I seemed to be floating to the steps while the silvery hotness of my energy bubbled just beneath the flimsy casing of my skin.

Even my toes tingled.

With unbelieving and fascinated eyes, I inspected the carved pillars at the landing of the staircase. The twin statues beckoned me all on their own.  
They resembled something belonging in a castle or in a forgotten fairy story, not two sculpted beasts in a modern lower eastside apartment building.  
As I looked closer, I could see the impressively large heads of the enormous animals beginning the banister's railing.  
I don't know what I expected of Jacob's living situation, but _this _certainly wasn't even in the realm of possibilities. Blinking rapidly I could see they were two huge mahogany dragons, with their wooden talons grazing the floor and their carved tongues viciously curled in their maws.  
Each had snarling razor tooth rimmed mouths, glossy orb like black eyes so delicately made that the wood gleamed like glass, and huge arched wings. They were both so artfully carved that I could see every detail even in the almost nonexistent light.

Even my own reflection was crystal clear in their shiny gazes.

I gawked incredulously at the carved mythical creatures as I raked my eyes over their realistic looking wings which were tucked closely to their puffed barrel chests.  
The intricately layered feathers draping their monstrous limbs seemed soft enough to touch.  
My energy laden fingers twitched as I allowed my eyes to drift upwards to the railing that elegantly protruded from their beastly necks.  
Winding upwards, I could see the carved wings continuing up until my enhanced sight blurred and wavered.  
I tried once more to force myself to refocus so that I could see them fully, but the zing flowing over my cheekbones and into my eye sockets prickled painfully enough for me to drop my gaze. I shut my eyelids momentarily, willing myself to suppress the power back down to my hands.

It only took a split second before the humming retreated back to my fingertips and I was able to cast my stare upwards once more.

Without my sharpened vision, I drank in the lobby. If it had been creepy before, it was now doubly so.  
The murkiness all around me made my skin crawl.  
My feet ghosted closer the monstrous staircase while I feebly focused on the enormous woven rug ,which was artfully rolled down each oversized step making the stairwell look like an overflowing river of red fabric.  
In the nearly pitch black darkness of the lobby my imagination turned the rug into a gruesome waterfall of blood running fluidly over each step and slithering down the banisters to slap unceremoniously against the rosy pink marble a few feet from where I stood.  
The silver veins crackling across every square foot turned black and the walls soaked up the blood in my mind.

A wave of nausea rolled up my throat, burning me from within as I let the shadows distort my reality.  
I swallowed the viscous bile down roughly and blinked rapidly to force my imagination into submission, but I'd seen more than enough to send a sick shiver down my neck.  
Nervous energy made my fingertips crackle with power.  
As reality set in, the gleaming strands of the fancy looking rug became a little more visible, and I was able to finally approach the carpet while my brain pleaded with my senses for a little bit of rationality.

_It's only carpet.  
_My thoughts whispered desperately on a loop while goose bumps began breaking out along my spine.  
I took measured breaths and noted the sweet smell of expensive leather polish wafting over to me from the pieces of furniture in the lobby.  
The fragrance was somehow worldly enough to anchor me.  
Focusing on the little details made the panic fade to the back which in turn allowed me to control the swells of power that wreaked havoc on me at any opportunity.  
My lips smashed together tightly in determination while my nostrils flared. I concentrated on breathing properly, walking upright, and restraining the voltage from escaping my grasp.

I'd only made it up three ledges before I heard his giant voice echoing throughout the abyss of our surroundings.  
"You're moving like a snail."  
Jacob's slightly exasperated complaint broke into my delirium and scattered the dark particles floating all around us.  
Pressure slammed the left side of my face and my fingers twitched as I felt the need for release.  
_Real _release.  
"Shut up."  
As I muttered, I turned to look back, around Jake's massive body and puzzled face, at the two animals guarding the entrance to the stairway behind him.  
My stomach flopped horribly and my palms smoldered.

I couldn't handle much more containment and somehow he knew it.

His eyes widened as he saw the intention in my face and the tremor rocketing through my arms. A tiny smirk ghosted across my lips a second before I acted.

Darting my hand out on an impulse, I gripped one of Jake's forearms and screwed my eyes shut for the ride.  
I heard him, over the sloshing in my own ears, as he breathed out a shocked profanity.  
It had been a long time since we'd traveled like this.  
"Shit!"  
He said while the fabric of time expanded and swallowed us whole.  
Fireworks exploded in my ears as the tension inside me rose and rose before reaching iridescent heights.  
"Woo!"  
Over my own thundering heart beat, Jacob hooted out at the top of his lungs. I cracked open my eyes to see him clutching my luggage to his chest while his short hair ruffled with the speed of our journey.

He smiled widely in a frightened and exhilarated kind of way while the world around us smeared and melded together.  
Nothing was discernible yet everything was recognizable as the scenes whirled and twirled by like a toy top. Spinning and vibrating, we skipped through the universe's layers with enough speed to untie my shoe laces and askew my sweater.  
As my hair exploded away from my messy up do, I lifted my face upwards to feel the wind I created with our movement sliding along my cheeks.  
My soft curled ringlets whipped across my face.

Teleportation was far too a nerdy word to describe this type of movement.

In the space which we traveled everything that _had been _or _would be _knitted together to form a net beneath us.  
We bounced across the neon stitching of time as energy flowed freely from my body. I could almost see the power which escaped my pores in huge shock waves, each burst made my toes twitch and my pulse hum erratically.  
It was utterly transcendental to finally expel that much voltage, but as I rid myself of it a new type of force surged within me.  
A stronger, darker energy replaced the insistent buzzing and I knew instinctively that I'd reached my limit.  
In a split second the side of my face felt as though cherubs, with their celestially fiery talons and expert knowledge of the human body, were pealing away at my flesh bit by bit.

The ache paralyzed me totally as Jacob and I sped through the cosmos.

Using this much of what lived inside me felt unearthly and indescribably crippling.  
It intoxicated and sickened all at once, but soon it was all over.  
With a sucking slurp, Jacob and I landed on our feet directly in front of his apartment.

He stumbled a little to the right. I didn't lose my footing even though I felt dizzy enough to hurl.  
Looking down at my shoes I could see both laces sloppily undone, but I could barely feel the legs they were attached to.  
I risked vomiting and swooped down to quickly jam the loose laces into my sneakers before straightening myself again.  
My loose hair tumbled over my shoulders in a cascade of naturally wavy squiggles.  
I pushed it away from my face and crammed it behind my ears before adjusting the strap of my hanging tote bag across my chest.  
With crackling fingers, I straightened my sweater while taking a deep breath to stop the still twirling images around me.  
"That was amazing!"  
Jake enthused with his eyes glowing brightly.  
I shifted my weight from side to side trying to coax my blood to circulate properly as it once had.

The hard plastic tip of one of the laces cut into the sole of my foot uncomfortably as it wiggled further out of place.  
I simply shrugged in response.  
"So cool."  
He breathed out the word in a wondrous tone, like a child talking about a comic book hero.  
I wanted to roll my eyes at him, but I refrained mostly because the grin stretching his lips was too brilliant to destroy. His expression tugged at my heart.

Jacob reached for the doorknob with his freehand, which gently still trembled from our unexpected trip I noted, and flung open the dark green door labeled two hundred and thirty-three in looped gold lettering.  
My eyebrows furrowed as I mentally cataloged the number that made very little sense.  
I tucked the information away in my mind as the apartment was revealed to me.

There were toffee colored walls trimmed with white moldings and the solid clean lines of practical furniture mixed and mingled with various color photographs of bustling city scenes blown up to huge master piece proportions. Overhead, track lighting highlighted the walls and a few spots on the mostly bare cherry wood floors.  
A giant sofa was the focal point of the casual living space, one that could easily sit a dozen people.  
I vaguely wondered if Jacob even knew that many people as I continued inspecting the giant hunk of furniture.  
The magnificent L-shaped chocolate leather couch sat directly in front of a massive TV mounted on the wall and complete gaming system housed in a glass armoire.  
Cocking my head to the side, I tried to figure out which gaming console was named what, but I could only recognize a couple little white and black boxes stacked one on top of the other.  
I wasn't really into video games, so I quickly lost interest.  
My eyes fell to what I could see of the kitchen, which wasn't much other than a few bright pops of color through the little chef's window.

Jacob breezed passed me while speaking over his shoulder.  
"So, this is it."  
He set my bags down by the sofa while I stood stiffly in the doorway, in a semi shocked state. Jacob was kind of a grown up and his apartment stood testament to this.  
I craned my neck to see further in while trying to remember what his room back home looked like.  
He'd come a long way from posters of swimsuit models, piles of dirty clothing, and scattered motorcycle parts.  
"Your room is down the hall, it's the first door on the right, and the bathroom is right across from you."  
As he listed the living spaces, he pointed while leaning against a brick column that was so out of place it looked like it perfectly belonged.  
With huge inspecting eyes I stared at the anomaly, which ran all the way up to the ceiling, completely baffled by it's purpose but inexplicably charmed by it's existence.  
I found myself fighting off a smile because deep down somewhere I truly liked this quirky little design signature.

Switching my gaze elsewhere I saw that beside the TV was the hallway, which housed three doors in total.  
My eyes flickered to catalog the doors that Jake referred to before returning to where he stood though I was slightly distracted by the largely open area of the living room directly behind him.  
There was an incredible glass top table, propped up by stacks of cement blocks and surrounded by comfortable looking mismatched barstools.  
A row of windows with heavy ivory colored curtains lined the back wall in between the massive unframed photos.  
There was a glossy wine cabinet filled with dusty bottles, a well used record player, and hat rack with his mechanic's shirt dangling from an iron arm.  
"Hello?"  
Jacob said while waved his hand in the air at me before continuing to speak in a jolly tone.  
"Close the door already. You'll let the weirdos in."  
He unleashed another blinding smile and quirked his gently arched eyebrows in a truly loveable manner.

It was impossible not to respond to Jacob.

He just had a way to make everything in the world, even teleportation, absolutely fine.

A tiny, miniscule, almost inaudible giggle ripped away from my mouth as I stepped inside the place I'd now call home and shut the door solidly behind me.  
I twirled around when the latches clicked into place and locked us in for the night.  
Turning back to Jake who, bless his heart, didn't have an overly critical expression painting his face.  
"You like it?"  
He asked genuinely interested to know if I did.  
This time I smiled at my brother.

A real, nearly face splitting, wide smile as I flickered the lights in the apartment. I allowed my energy to surge through me to grasp the artificial rays shining from every light bulb in the apartment while erratically flashing them on and off.  
My mind took hold of the power firmly before releasing my will and giving the light fixtures a break, but I thought they shined a little brighter after my remote influence.  
Jacob nearly roared in laughter, a joyous grin stretching his face as he looked around enthralled.  
"So, yes?"  
He said in between his chuckles.  
My brother was the only person left who could watch me do unexplainable things and be utterly entertained by them.

I loved him dearly for that.  
"Yeah."  
I answered him, still wearing my uncomfortable smile but being unable to wipe it from my mouth.  
"It's pretty amazing."  
My lips mumbled the words I meant wholeheartedly.  
It's true, I was beyond exhausted and more battered than I could ever express, but being with Jake in his home-made me feel something I hadn't felt in longer than I wanted to admit.

I felt as though I was coming alive, right where I stood.

* * *

**_I know this was a long one, but thanks for hanging in there! _**


	5. Chapter 5

Foggy and distant, I could vaguely feel gusts of frigid air piping from a vent above my head.

The cold wind scattered my loosely hanging hair which draped across the left side of my face. A heavy grogginess slammed into my temples making my head throb horrendously while I struggled to open my eyes.  
The world around me seemed like it slugged by at a snails pace.  
I shivered lightly as more icy air swept along the top of my head causing a few errant curls to tickle under my nose. Cranking my eyelids open I could hardly see anything through the curtain of dark brown ringlets, but when I tried to push the hair away from my face I found myself completely unable to move.

_What the-?  
_My thoughts garbled.

Only a split second passed before the events prior to waking up came careening back to me at a speed that made my insides clench and my heart race.  
I remembered being unable to sleep after having dinner with Jacob in his apartment, walking the streets at midnight until it began raining, and then pushing up the sleeves of my grey sweater to enter the only open diner for blocks.  
My eyes widened as my sluggish mind recalled the rest.  
The strange man in the booth at the back of the dingy place, the levitating coffee cup lid, and the syringe of drugs that knocked me out cold.  
A horrified scream rippled up my throat, but the noise was muffed, by a chunk of duct tape, before it could escape me.

I froze as reality sunk in fully.

The energy inside me, unusually dormant until this very second, burst from my core in a blinding instant of realization and then died down to a tiny ember.  
It didn't travel through my veins as it normally did, my abilities very bizarrely balled in the pit of my sinking gut.

Again I tried to move my arms, but I could feel my wrists tugging at restraints as my entire body jerked and twisted in desperation.  
For a moment I thrashed about, shaking my head to clear away the mess of hair from across my face and the woozy feeling swirling around in my cranium.  
Blinking back the clouds from my vision I looked up at my hands, tied above my head and anchored to an iron bedpost with a leather belt.  
_  
Oh my god.  
_My dismayed, but much clearer, thoughts whispered.

Looking further down my body I could see my ankles crossed and looped together with yet another camel colored belt attached to the black bedpost.

I gagged in horror.

With sharpened and much more alert eyes, I wildly inspected my surroundings. The room I found myself in, one I'd never been in before, wasn't particularly sinister looking.  
From what I could see, it seemed like a very regular and pleasant sort of bedroom.  
Had I not been hog-tied to the bed, that is. However, the stillness just under my flesh made my environment more ominous than it actually was.  
There weren't any singular hanging light bulbs or bricked up windows or anything like that, but I still felt trepidation over riding my ability as though the harmless pieces of furniture I saw were devices of sadistic torture.

Again, my entire body yanked against the leather bonds as I felt a new wave of fear rocketing up my spine.  
With huge and straining eyes, I struggled to catalogue everything I saw.  
A dresser without any ornaments, a small vanity mirror, and carpet flooring were pretty much all there was as I resumed wiggling uselessly like a mermaid on a ship deck.  
I spotted a modest window, it's blinds allowing for sunshine to stream through in horizontal lines that pinstriped everything.  
Adrenaline shot into my chest while I imagined myself outside of the room, trying to travel using my abilities.  
I shut my eyes so that the voltage would take over as it normally did, my emotions were heightened enough to propel me into another century.  
Nothing happened though.  
Not a single spark from my fingertips, not a shiver down my spine, not even the dirty penny flavor graced my taste buds.  
My palms pricked painfully as I struggled to focus on breaking myself out of the ties that held me to the stranger's bed, but the shimmer of power never made it past my skin.

I felt it deep within myself, pacing to get out and crackling with unease to preserve itself.  
A few anxiety riddled minutes melted by as I tried again and again to force the energy away from me while my entire body heaved in a joint effort to escape.  
Still, nothing happened.  
My fingers fizzled away in panic as I became more agitated.  
Something blocked me from unleashing a nuclear wave of power and no matter what I did I couldn't overcome the phantom shackles or the actual ones tying me to the bed.

Whatever drugs I'd been pumped full of were fucking me up, badly.

No amount of concentration forced the voltage to the surface, nothing came of my struggling.  
All I could feel was the blanket of synthetic suppression squeezing my insides like a vice.

For the first time in my entire life, I prayed my abilities would save me.

A frantic sob gurgled up my throat as I fought roughly against the leather straps, having no unnatural assistance or forethought whatsoever.  
I couldn't help the tears as they trickled down the sides of my face while the iron bedpost banged and clattered against the white wall causing a huge racket without any results.  
My spine excruciatingly twisted as I contorted and wrenched with all my might.  
I didn't care about the pain I was causing myself or the amount of noise I was making, because my climbing terror was just too great to stifle.  
Mindlessly terrified, I continued to thrash about.  
Only thinking of freeing myself from the bed to flee my captor.

His face burned in my glaring at me with his golden Ali Baba eyes and calling me stupid with his perfectly plump mouth.  
More tears welled in my eyes as the leather manacles dug into my flesh, but gave no signs of loosening.

_He was right.  
_My thoughts wailed inside my mind. I had been a stupid girl.

_The stupidest girl alive.  
_My brain wept.

I hadn't even lasted an entire day in the city and now, because of my naïvety, I was probably going to die in some horrifically sick way.  
Panic, ice cold and sharply barbed, sliced up my legs.  
I didn't want to die, not yet.

My heart shuddered as I though about Jacob, he had been so sound asleep when I crept out of his apartment last night.  
He would never know what really happened to me.  
As my thoughts ran rampant a new flood of hot tears overwhelmed my vision.  
It was an involuntary reaction, I didn't want to be a blubbering mess for the last few moments of my life, but I couldn't restrain the floodgates.

Exposing my bare skin to the cold gusts of central air, my sweater sagged over my shoulder while I tugged hysterically until I thought my elbows would pop out of their sockets.  
I didn't care about leaving my arms behind, only fleeing mattered.

Frustration, anger, and disbelief coursed through every cell in my body.  
I'd never felt anything like it before, like my every nerve ending was being set on fire while the glacial emptiness of being out of touch with my abilities sent shivers down my spine.

The violent cacophony of emotions came at me so quickly I could hardly stand it.  
I prayed that this was all a horrible dream, that I would wake up in Jacob's wonderfully warm apartment and only have a sheen of sweat to remember this nightmare by.  
Being held against my will was demoralizing, but being not able to focus my power made me feel as though all my clothing had been stripped away too.

I groaned against the tape across my mouth as I tried to force the energy away from my flesh.  
Again to no avail.  
I stilled my body completely, focusing all of my attention on my power while my temples flared and my cheeks flushed with blood.  
Demanding it to come alive inside me, I pictured my energy shining through my flesh and eviscerating the leather shackles.  
I quaked with exertion as I imagined crumbling the walls and setting fire to the cream colored carpet, but absolutely nothing happened.  
Not giving up, I pushed and pushed until my nostrils began flaring and I felt myself hyperventilating.  
I wanted to explode everything in my direct atmosphere and breakaway running.

"Isabella, please stop what you're doing."  
A smoothly accented voice broke me away from my mission and as soon as I'd heard it my head whipped towards where it came from.  
My neck ached with the sudden movement while I looked at the woman standing in the doorway, behind her towered the stranger from the diner with his malignant hands jammed into his pockets.  
Another strangled whimper crept up my throat only to be muffled by the tape across my lips when I spotted him.

Fear, hatred, and awe shot through my center leaving a white hot trail.  
"You'll hurt yourself if you keep straining like that. Your abilities will return to you shortly. We don't have much time."  
The svelte lady with caramel colored hair explained as she rolled her R's exotically and cat-walked towards me.  
"My name is Agent Esmeralda Arc. I'm not going to hurt you, okay?"  
The fullness of her mouth formed the words tenderly as though every single one of them counted, but it was difficult for me to believe or trust anyone who knowingly participated in a kidnapping.  
A few more boiling hot tears sizzled down the apples of my cheeks while I watched me in rapt awareness.

As she reached my bedside her wide set yellow eyes widened and her expression grew troubled.  
Her romantically wavy glossed hair flowed velvety over one of her shoulders while tendrils of her flowery perfume wafted across my face.  
For a woman who couldn't have been any taller than I was she seemed to engulf the space she occupied with her sheer presence.  
I took a good look at her while taking deep breaths through my fluttering nostrils, trying to commit everything I could to memory in case I lived through this.

The black blazer clad lady extended a manicured hand to wipe away the wetness of my silent weeping.  
As she shifted I could see the silver flash of a badge attached to the top of her well fitted black trousers, but I still remained frozen in terror as her cold fingers touched me.  
"Hold still. This will sting a little, child."  
She whispered down to me with the strangest expression furrowing her artfully arched brows and a foreign tinge to her words.  
I couldn't place where it was from though.  
Her hand drifted down to the piece of tape across my mouth, but before she tore it away she spoke to the stranger over her shoulder in a harsh tone.  
"Edward, this was barbaric."  
She said while her glimmering fawn colored waves shivered further down the slope of her shoulder.

He shrugged nonchalantly, before languidly leaning against the door frame.  
Esmeralda turned her attention back to me as she quickly ripped off the hunk of silver duct tape from my face in one fluid motion.  
Sweet, sweet oxygen flooded my lungs while I yelped at the ache.  
Gasping in huge gulps of air, I tugged and twisted against the leather belts keeping my limbs tied.  
"Unbelievable."  
She mumbled as her hands quickly made work of the manacles above my head and then the ones at my ankles.  
"You're very special, Isabella. We've been watching you, waiting for the right time to approach you."  
Agent Arc spoke in a soft tone as I found the strength to sit up, the adrenaline slowly ebbed way leaving me sore and exhausted.  
My entire body swayed with the effort to straighten my spine while my right hand cupped my chafed raw left wrist.  
"So, you send that psycho to drug me and tie me to his bed?"  
The words flew away from my scratchy throat before I could censor them, before I could even anticipate them, but as soon as they were said

Edward's face imploded in on it's self.

His brows caved and his mouth drew down into a comical fine little line, but he remained absolutely silent.  
He wore the glare from the diner, but somehow in the light of day it seemed even more menacing than it had been when he stabbed me in the diner.  
All at once I wanted to continue weeping, to scream at him in indignation for abducting me, and pummel him into the ground with my power for thinking I was an idiot.  
I could almost see the virulent things he thought about me scrawled across his heavenly face.  
Again I tried to focus on the muted buzzing deep in the pit of my gut, this time in his direction, but just as before nothing came of it.

I felt a new round of frantic tears rising in my throat.  
Swallowing them down thickly, I restrained myself not wanting to show him how weak I was and how utterly right he'd been about my stupidity.  
"Agent Cullen's methods were completely out of line. We only mean to protect you, not to harm you. Charlie was a special man and very dear to our organization."  
I stopped rubbing my wrist when she said my father's name.  
A huge lump formed in my throat while I maneuvered my body so that my bare feet grazed the ground as she continued speaking.  
"There's no easy way to say this, Isabella. Your father's disappearance has all but triggered a global war and we have reason to believe that you're in danger."  
My eyes bulged in my head as this crazy woman told me her bizarre explanation for being an accomplice to my abduction.  
What she said was completely unbelievable, utterly ridiculous, and incredibly farfetched.  
As my eardrums vibrated and my head swam, I thought of my father.  
Charlie was, for all intents and purposes, a small town doctor who would've never been in cohorts with any _organization_.  
I couldn't control the skeptical look that stretched across my face or the scoff that bubbled up my scorched throat and past my chapped lips.  
"She doesn't believe you, Esme."  
Edward snarled from the doorway, before turning on his heel to glide back into the shadows where he and his haunting face belonged.  
I exhaled a shuttering breath I didn't know I was holding when he was finally out of sight.

Somehow, it seemed easier to suck down oxygen without his dark scowl looming in the background.  
"Isabella, I need you to trust me. I know that's a lot to ask, especially after this ordeal, but you must believe what I'm about to tell you."  
Agent Arc rose to her high heeled feet and extended her elegant hands to me so I could stand as well.  
"Your life depends on it."  
She whispered as I cautiously accepted her assistance, hoping that the physical contact might jump start my energy by absorbing some of hers, but the voltage flowing just under my flesh didn't even spark once.  
My toes dug into the creamy shag carpet as Agent Arc helped me stand up to my full height.  
After a few seconds of steadying myself and quietly trying to entice my abilities out from wherever they hid inside me, I released her ice cold hands in slight defeat.

She looked at me with a knowing expression before turning to exit the bedroom.

Unsure of what else to do and a little dazed by the reality of my morning, I followed Agent Arc out of the bedroom and into a makeshift living room piled high with huge boxes and flickering computer monitors.  
Maps of the city and other places I didn't recognize adorned the walls.  
Predictably they were all scattered with push pins, tiny little flags, and red yarn.  
I wanted to laugh at what looked like a perfect replica of some crime lab on some network television show, but no sounds escaped my lips.  
There weren't any crane cameras or director's chairs, no craft services table or electrical hub.  
Instead, I could clearly see a dry erase board with the flight schedule I took to arrive in New York last night and the one I'd switched from.  
I swallowed thickly, not really know what to make of everything I saw.  
Where the dining room would've been was an industrial looking table, one of about four others scattered across the deconstructed living space.  
The one we walked towards was littered with folders, photos, and stamped papers all illuminated by an overhead lamp.  
Agent Arc led me to it silently, her russet mane swept to the side while her sharp charcoal suit shifted with her effortless movements.

I quickly observed the other tables as I shuffled slowly behind her.  
They each seemed to be dedicated for other purposes entirely as they had various questionable items cluttering their surfaces like a microscope that looked as though it belonged to an alien race on one, a towering glass chemistry set on the next, and yet more computers on another.

I noticed a gun on the edge of the table Agent Arc stopped at.  
Still in it's black leather holster, but nevertheless bone chilling to observe.  
Swallowing back a gurgle of puke, I trailed her to the table where the firearm rested forebodingly.  
"Dr. Swan, many years before you were born, created a series of drugs under federal direction. He had cooperation between humans and supernatural beings to perform these studies. Your father believed certain conditions could be controlled, managed, and eventually cured."  
She emphasized the last sentence strangely as she sorted through the multitude of files on the table and continued speaking.  
Her shining yellow bullion colored eyes cast downwards as she rifled through the papers.  
"His research was funded by the federal government, until it became apparent to him that his drugs were causing unforeseen side effects in some of the test subjects over periods of exposure. He stopped his work immediately and reported the incidents to his superiors, but the drug trials continued on to live subjects against his advice. Both human and supernatural test subjects."  
Her voice dropped an octave as she said the last sentence, that same troubled look ghosting over her high cheekbones.  
Agent Arc finally found the file she was searching for and with that sadly far off expression stretching her crimson lips handed me the substantial folder.

I heard everything she said, but I couldn't process what any of the words actually meant, because none of it made sense to me.  
Charlie was a hardworking, honest, family man.  
One who was a part of a community, he wasn't a government agent or a mad scientist performing experiments on people.

He was just my dad, plain and simple.  
With trembling fingers I opened the file.

The first thing that jumped out at me was a faded picture of my father standing closely to this Agent Arc person, Edward, and two other otherworldly beautiful men.

In this Polaroid Charlie looked so alive.  
I had to choke back the tears that assuaged me as I looked at his sarcastically smiling face while the ache in my chest nearly allowed me to miss another striking fact.  
My father couldn't have been any older than twenty-five, but the woman standing in front of me was an exact reflection of herself photographed twenty some odd years ago. I looked up at her quickly to compare.  
She was absolutely identical.  
Down to the clothes she wore, the ruby red lipstick slathered across her pout, and the style of her Rapunzel hair .  
Nothing at all had changed about her, not a single sign of age marred her perfect china doll skin.

My mouth opened and closed, words failing me as I flicked through the rest of the information she'd presented me with. So many questions bombarded my mind that I could barely think straight.  
Clearance forms stamped 'top secret' in bright red letters, sheets of paper with my father's scribbled writing, frantic un-sent letters to colleagues.  
The folder overflowed with them all.

_Test subject # 13, as the previous twelve subjects, began exhibiting agitated behavior approximately three weeks after the first dose. 13 became unstable after week five, before complete breakdown at week eight. Subject is in isolation until a termination date is determined. _

I read Charlie's handwriting, fighting back the tears while trying to think logically about what I saw seeing.

My mind fumbled to make logical what seemed so absolutely improbable.  
"The truth is that humans share this world with all manner of beings. When your father discovered the purpose for the drug trails was to attack the cellular make up of those different species he was deemed a security risk by the very people he worked for. Many of our kind strive to live among humans, but the alliances have always been precarious."  
Agent Arc spoke while I absorbed the evidence she'd given me.  
"Charlie was admired by most of the paranormal world for his achievements in science, his disappearance and the vanishing of his body of work has alarmed many on both sides. We protected your father and his studies or at least we tried to."  
As she said the last sentence sadness thickened her words and shadowed across her beautifully proportioned face.  
"We?"  
I found my voice for the first time since I'd insulted Edward.

Gripping the folder, my eyes darted around the chaotic space as I searched for him weary that he was lurking in some corner ready with a syringe and poised to stab anyone stupid enough to speak to him.  
"We've been called many things over the years, but in this country we currently operate as a branch of The Department of Homeland Security called Paranormal Offensive."  
She answered hesitantly.  
My eyebrows furrowed as I spoke again.  
"Doesn't that make you part of the government?"  
I asked, confused and unsure I was following precisely what she said.  
It was difficult to be sure with the pounding in my head growing by the second.  
"Aren't they the bad guys?"  
I mumbled, returning to the file to flip through a few more pages.

More journal entries detailing _test subjects, _strange photocopied blueprints, and x-ray negatives of various body parts.  
Agent Arc chuckled lightly at my last words.  
A very musical and tender sound flitting through the cold air above our heads, though it didn't actually sound like a happy tone.  
"Only a few of them are bad guys, but they're the ones powerful enough to make horrible things happen. Horrible things like making innocent people disappear."  
She grew deadly serious as she continued to explain.  
"People with enough influence to wipe out species that have inhabited the earth long before humans. People who don't care about starting wars with whoever opposes them. Wars that, if provoked, could cause untold losses for both sides."  
Agent Arc took a deep breath before steam rolling onwards.  
Her enchanting accent made the gravity of what she said even more unbearable as it pressed against my chest.  
"Isabella, agents like Edward and myself are the only barrier between your world and ours. We've kept the peace for centuries, but when your father was targeted the balance of things shifted. Can you understand that?"  
My hands shook as nervous energy coursed through my veins while I thought over everything she said.

I felt like at any moment someone was going to jump out from behind something and yell "you're on candid camera!". That was the only rational explanation for what was going on.  
Either that or this woman was absolutely delusion or I was in some kind of deep coma and all this was a drug induced fever dream.  
I didn't know, but what Agent Arc explained couldn't possibly be real or true.  
"She still doesn't believe you, Esme."  
Edward's voice crept over my shoulder as my entire body stiffened.  
My nostrils flared while his scent flowed down into my throat, burning my lungs and setting my lower stomach ablaze.  
He strode past me, giving me another unapologetically rude death stare before standing next to Agent Arc while folding his arms across his chest.  
"Don't you ever wonder why you're different? Why you can do the things you do?"  
The way he sneered out his words made a shiver rake down my spine.  
"Grow up already, Isabella."  
He spat the words out as though they were poisonous.

I felt him trying to get into my head, trying to really fuck with me, and it was working.  
Anger licked at the back of my ears hotly.  
"We should just show her, Esme. She won't believe without seeing for herself and we're running out of time having her here. You know that."  
His voice, deep and thorny, addressed Agent Arc as he spoke about me like I wasn't standing there clenching my fists and trembling with emotions.  
My intense dislike of this man grew by the second.  
"I don't want to scare her, Edward."  
She said while her bright yellow eyes searched my confused face.  
There was something about the way she looked at me, like she knew me and everything I'd ever thought.  
Her wise liquid stare seemed old and world weary.  
"It's the only way."  
Edward replied to Agent Arc in a nasty tone before turning to face me with determination creasing his striking features.

It happened so suddenly that had I blinked I would've missed the transformation completely.  
Standing there, dressed in his black t-shirt and a pair of well fitting low slung jeans, Edward forced my attention like only he existed in the room.

I watched in silently terrified astonishment as he peeled back his perfectly sculpted top lip to expose his teeth, which by the second grew into Dracula fangs, only much-much more petrifying. The folder Agent Arc had passed to me slipped from my hands, scattering it's paper contents at my feet as my jaw slackened slightly.  
His canines turned shimmering black, like two sharp onyx colored ice picks with points that gleamed dangerously.  
I lost my breath as I saw his incredible golden eyes cloud over into the same murky color, a black that seemed blacker than possibly describable, just as his fangs were. His shoulders widened impossibly and his arms swelled double their size while his nails turned just like his eyes had.  
A darkness literally seeped through him, making his handsomeness morph into an apparition that I could hardly believe.  
His stark white flesh contrasted with the smoked blackness of his canines and pooling in his eyes.

The monster version of Edward, startlingly large and violently ominous, was still somehow so beautiful to behold that I couldn't tear my eyes away from him.

I was frightened as he stood there, but when he stalked closer to where I was I thought I would implode from the excess of emotional stimuli and the uncomfortable distance from my own abilities.  
I prayed they would return to me soon. He towered over me, shivering with so much power that I could feel it like the heat of the sun on my flesh. I wanted to turn my face away from him or run away screaming, but my limbs refused to move.  
With amazed eyes I stared up into his alien gaze, trying to make sense of what I was seeing.  
My cheeks flushed with blood as I tried not to enjoy the feeling of him looking back at me, tilting his head slightly and blinking slowly every so often as though he were examining me with brand new eyes.  
The unreal blackness seemed to saturate him completely, making him more beast than man.

He bent closely to me, dragging his nose along my hair and taking a large inhalation against the side of my head.  
I didn't move a single muscle as he touched me.

My spine was absolutely rigid in fear and something else I couldn't quite explain dancing along the surface of my skin. Edward's lips parted as a low growl vibrated from deep inside his chest.  
The sound made the blood drain away from my head while the entire place spun wildly around us.  
I could feel my blood pressure climbing as his mouth brushed against my ear.  
He exhaled a saccharine breath which traveled down my neck and over my sweater.  
"That's enough!"  
A fierce roar from behind Edward broke the trance between us and he stumbled backwards away from me.  
I slurped down a frozen mouthful of oxygen as the rubber band tension snapped me back into the present now that Edward was a respectable distance.  
Still, I could hear his chest rattling and feel the quaking heat of his power reaching out to me.  
I blinked away the warm static fog and looked to Agent Arc.

She transformed just as Edward had but something about her was eons older and far- far scarier.  
Her black eyes and fangs were the same as his, but her fingertips curled into knife like points and I was sure I could see her jacket struggling to stay intact due to some unseen force trying to break free from her clothing.  
She fluttered strangely, like a bird.  
The realization hit me quickly as I observed her trembling hunched over form, snarling mouth, and viciously contorted face.

_Wings. No, that can't be right.  
_I silently argued with myself, but before I could look a little more closely she shook her still luscious hair and returned to her normal form with a tremble.

My mouth went dry as Edward followed suit.

_Oh my god.  
_My thoughts whispered while I felt my stomach drop as though I were riding a rollercoaster. The world around me tilted and dizziness quickly overwhelmed my senses.  
Nothing, I could come up with no plausible explanation for what I'd just seen.  
Inside my skull, I felt my brain struggling to keep up. Shuddering and sweating, my knees slightly buckled underneath me as my entire body gave up the battle to stay upright.  
I let my limbs slacken with shock while I braced myself to slam into the floor beneath me.

Edward was there, in a flash behind me, gripping my body to his before I could collapse.  
I felt his solid chest behind me and his concrete arms around me, but the rest was fuzzy.  
"Jesus Christ."  
He murmured as he gathered me closer, lifting me up as though I weighed nothing at all while the universe around me dimmed. A sharp smell spiked me back into reality before I could completely sign off.

I found myself laid out atop of the files with Edward's otherworldly face hovering above me.

He pressed a tiny little vile under my nose again until I coughed and pushed his arm away, though the moment our skin made contact I could feel the transfer of quaking energy.  
A shock of voltage ran up my arm, making my toes curl and my guts twist.  
He immediately dropped away his hand with a sour expression.  
His silky soft looking hair poked in every direction as he bent over me, the light above his head framing his perfect form.  
"She's fine."  
Edward sneered and immediately the warm feeling rushing across my body as I looked at him turned frigid.  
I gripped the side of the table as I sat up swiftly, swinging my arms to knock him out of my way, and landing wobbly on the balls of my bare feet.  
Edward lifted both his hands, palms exposed, and backed away from me before I could touch him again.  
A tiny, completely fucked up, piece of my soul frowned at the missed opportunity.  
"I want to leave, now. Where are my shoes?'  
I demanded in a scratchy tone, not wanting to see any more terrifying transformations or learn any more puzzling information about my father.

I determined I'd had enough and if they really weren't going to hurt me then they'd let me go home  
"Of course, Edward please get Isabella's shoes."  
In a split second Agent Arc appeared on my side of the table to order him around in a way that made me want to smirk in victory, but I refrained.  
Edward took one more smoldering look at me before he scurried back into the shadows.  
Once he was gone, Agent Arc took a few steps to stand in front of me as she spoke in a quietly kind voice.  
"I'm so sorry we had to see each other again this way, child. I'm going to give you a few things I'd like for you to take home. Please trust that any questions you have, I will always answer."  
As she spoke her hand drifted up to adjust my saggy grey sweater, now pulverized by being manhandled and kidnapped.

Her long pale fingers, no longer sharpened and steeped in inky black, smoothed out the material before she afforded me a fangless smile.  
I looked into her honey colored eyes while I nodded my head in vague understanding, but not everything registered totally.  
"My abilities?"  
My voice croaked away from my lips as I asked the only truly burning question I could properly formulate.  
Agent Arc's angelic face crumpled in pity.  
"It's strange without them, I know."  
She said with a perceptive tinge to her accented words before continuing on.  
"You should be back to your normal self shortly. I'm surprised they haven't resurfaced yet."  
She paused, saying the last bit more to herself as she continued explaining.  
"The drugs Edward gave you were synthesized from your father's work. You don't have to worry about any side effects, this serum has been thoroughly tested and acts like a suppressant rather than a toxin as the original does."  
Her ruby red lips curved over the words she spoke as her gentle voice contrasted with what I just saw her transform into a few moments ago.  
"Unfortunately, other more potent versions do exist."  
Agent Arc backed away from me and moving at a cautious pace, walked over to yet another army bunker style table a few feet from where I stood.

She grabbed an innocuous looking journal, a long chain with a little dangling orb, and an unmarked envelope.

In a split second she was back in front of me and handing over the items with a hopeful glimmer in her eyes.  
"Charlie kept this journal, it will tell you everything you need to know about what we are and what exists around you. It's important you destroy this as soon as possible, read it as quickly as you can Isabella. Do you understand?"  
Agent Arc asked as she clearly observed the dazed expression glassing across my face. I could feel my brain pulsating with questions, but I nodded my head anyway.  
She smiled, a sad far away smile, before continuing to explain the objects she curled into my hands.  
"The necklace is a power source. It connects you to us, it'll lead you to safety if you need it to, and act as a beacon if you're in trouble. Please wear it, _always_."  
Something in her voice made me want to believe she was good, even with the image of her nearly sprouting horns still fresh in my mind.

I let my fingers rope through the long unexceptional silver chain as I dropped my gaze to the tiny indigo gem at the end of it.  
It was a dark hard stone, completely unremarkable in every way.  
Agent Arc came a little closer, closer than I was comfortable with, and removed the necklace from in between my fingers.  
She draped the unimpressive piece of jewelry over my head and tucked it under the front of my sweater before stepping back away from me.  
"And the envelope?"  
I asked, my voice barely above a whisper.  
Her angular shoulders shrugged lightly as she sighed while walking a little further away from me.  
"We don't know. Your father's instructions were that only you view it's contents. It arrived shortly after he disappeared with those instructions."  
As Agent Arc explained the envelope, Edward and his severe expression prowled back into the open living room with my sneakers swinging in his grip.  
He was so intense that he riveted all of my attention very much without my consent.

I really felt like Bella in Wonderland when he was around.

Amongst the zinging computer screens and teetering stacks of boxes, he looked like something fictional even without all the crazy demon add-ons.  
Then he moved so quickly I could hardly see anything but a blur of his black clothing and pale skin.  
In an unnecessary jolt to my already fragile system, I felt him gripping my hips to sit me firmly back on the table I'd just hopped off of.  
His ice cold electric fingers pressed into my sweater, piercing through the crocheted holes and digging into my bare flesh.  
It wasn't painful, but I gasped in surprise anyway.  
Something about Edward made me want to push him away and grab him nearer all at once, but before I could react in either fashion he'd bent down to slip on my socks.  
Being more careful than I thought him capable of as I distinctly recalled the way surprised me by jamming a needle into my vein.  
His huge, unnaturally cold hands gently yanked on my shoes and securely tied my laces.  
"I'm going to take you back home."  
Edward muttered blackly as though the task annoyed him to no end.

I grimaced deeply while I pressed Charlie's journal and the blank envelope to my chest.

A little childish part of me wanted to swing one of my legs to kick him in his beautiful face, but the adult woman within couldn't risk fucking up such an incredible canvas. As the thought fluttered around in my mind I could feel Edward gripping the tops of my sneakers, before quickly standing to his full height.  
"Come with me or you don't go at all."  
His whiskey coated voice snarled as he lunged at me, presumably to lift me off the table, but he stopped short when I winced involuntarily.  
My entire body cowered away from him on instinct.  
A look I'd seen before, the expression on his face when he'd pumped me full of drugs, shadowed his sculpted features.  
"Don't do that."  
He whispered down at me before darting across the cluttered living space to the front door.  
I stayed seated on the table for a second, trying to catch my breath and vaguely wondering if the rabbit hole I'd fallen into ever had a bottom.  
Edward glared at me from beside the exit.  
"I hope you'll be in touch soon, Isabella."  
Agent Arc's gentle as satin voice fluttered around my eardrums as I hoisted myself off of the table for the last time while tightly clasping the items she had just given me.

My heart raced as I thought about going home to read through the journal.

I was morbidly eager to know what it said and the sheer need to see Jacob again propelled me to accept that Edward was taking me back.  
Probably back to where he'd stabbed me with a syringe. Hesitantly I nodded my head to Agent Arc, who stood by a stack of boxes to my left, and walking on unsteady legs wobbled towards the front door where my antagonist stood.  
Though he didn't just _stand _there.  
He leaned like nothing in the world was important enough to move him, as he always appeared, against the door frame.  
With intently focused golden eyes he watched me.  
I crossed my arms against my body, with the journal and the envelope tightly shielding me from his penetrating gaze.  
When I was close enough, he plucked the journal and the envelope away from my hands to put them in a backpack I hadn't noticed rested at his feet until now.

Then in one fluidly graceful movement, Edward opened the door to usher me out with an expectant look as he slung the little backpack over one of his shoulders. With a deep breath I walked ahead of him, wanting to sprint away but being unable to move any quicker than I already was.  
The dull buzz of my energy in the pit of my gut weighed me down like a bucket of stones in a pool of chocolate pudding.  
I was tired enough to evaporate.  
I held it together, but just barely.

Once outside the apartment, in a predictably bland hallway, Edward shut the door firmly behind us.  
I could feel him just inches behind me, his fragrance slithered over my shoulders and up my neck in a way that made me want to squirm in both horror and delight. Every inch of my skin became impossibly aware of him.  
My breath hitched in my throat as he snaked his curled hands around my midsection, dragging his fingers along my sides while he clutched me to his chest in one fell swoop.  
Again, he ran his nose lightly along my jaw line and just as before I felt the shimmering current of his energy blanketing me.  
I thought I could hear a steady rattling coming from his throat, but the pounding in my own ears was too great to determine if I was right.  
This time, for reasons unknown even to me, I shut my eyes and enjoyed the feeling.

Too tired to care if it made any sense for me to do so.

He had after all, abducted me, tied me to a bed like a serial killer, and quite literally turned into a monster right before my very eyes.  
Against my ear, I could sense his cold breath as he brushed his nose up to my cheekbone and in a pathetic instant the above was completely forgotten.  
Without really thinking about it at all, I gripped his thick pale forearms and shuddered out a deep sigh while goose bumps rippled along every inch of my flesh.  
I could even taste him on my tongue when I inhaled, smoky and dangerous.  
My character took a nosedive as I relished the smell of him.

Suddenly a violent wind slapped against my cheeks, fireworks exploded in my ears, and my senses smeared together in a confusing jumble so that all I could feel was Edward pressed tightly against my body. We were traveling, I didn't need to open my eyes to figure that out, but we were moving at speeds that I couldn't comprehend.  
Edward's hands flattened against my midsection as the universe expanded while we rocketed through the endless possibilities of time.  
The rush bathed me in heart stopping familiarity.  
"You're shaking."  
His husky voice whispered into my ear making my heart thump back to life inside my chest.  
I could hear him crystal clear above the thundering all around us.  
He was right, I was quaking like a leaf and there was nothing I could do to stop myself.  
With twitching fingertips I trailed my hands to his and pressed his palms closer yet to my aching flesh as the intensity between us saturated my thirsty bones.  
I wanted to attribute my behavior to the lingering drugs in my system, but deep down I knew my actions were simply spurned by the need for a little pleasurable shock.  
His sparking power surged through me, luring my own energy to come forward in a way that made me almost whimper out loud.

Another shudder ripped down my spine as I felt my abilities responding for the first time all morning.  
In a blinding moment, I wanted to dually cry out in joy and weep in agony.  
Behind me I could feel Edward glimmering with immense strength, he focused it all around us so that we could travel unseen by anyone, but he also allowed me to siphon a great deal of it.  
My skin greedily sucked it up, starved for longer than it had ever been of the tingling energy.  
"Take as much as you'd like."  
I could hear the sickly twisted smirk in his voice.  
The tone made me want to stop absorbing the white hot voltage he expelled, but I was too weak to stop myself.  
All I could do was crank open my eyes and scowl at myself.

With a slurping sound, Edward and I landed in the middle of my bedroom.

Our feet barely made any noise against the hardwood flooring as we touched down.  
He held onto me tightly, running his fingertips across the fabric of my old grey sweater as he radiated a blinding amount of power.  
I wanted to break free from his grip and slap away his hands, but I didn't do any of that.  
More evidence of my dilapidated value system and the degenerate state of my own mind.  
I didn't push him away or struggle against his embrace and I should have.

He was insufferably gorgeous, incredibly cruel, and borderline deranged.  
Edward's lips bushed against my temple, his icy cold breath making my treacherous body tremble against his before he finally released me.  
I stumbled forward. Turning to face him after I regained my balance, intent on telling him to get out of my home, I spun on my heel.  
All disheveled and forlorn, Edward looked back at me with a honeyed glower.  
Words failed me ask I beheld his sheer magnificence.  
He reminded me of James Dean as Jim Stark, trying to fit into a world where he doesn't belong and being unafraid to engage in a little physical contact to prove himself.  
Under my open scrutiny, Edward slung the backpack filled with the items Agent Arc gave me onto my bed.  
It landed with a bounce in the center of my unused white sheets.

Before I could say anything, before I could even blink a heavy knock at my door echoed throughout my room.  
The sound ripped me away from my inspection of Edward.  
"Bella, are you awake?"  
Jacob's gentle voice was like cool aloe over the raw tiredness I felt, but as he spoke I could think of only one thing.

Hiding Edward.

With wide eyes I looked at him, brooding only a few feet away from where I stood and offering no suggestions as to what to do.  
"Yeah, uh, I'm going to shower."  
I lied on a whim to Jake, forcing my voice to sound as normal as possible so that I could protect the kidnapper in my bedroom.  
There was a quiet silence for just a second that made my heart leap around in my chest like a gay dude at an electronic dance music festival.  
I felt so woozy I nearly puked up a rainbow.  
"Okay, I'm heading to work. Call me if you need me, curls."  
Jake's voice trailed away as I heard his footsteps stomping through the living room towards the front door.  
I cringed lightly.  
A part of me wanted to yell out for him to stay, not to leave me alone with Edward in the apartment, but I restrained myself from doing it simply because I didn't know what the person standing in front of me was totally capable of.

Drugging, abduction, and extreme bondage seemed like child's play for him.

I didn't want Edward to hurt Jacob and I wasn't entirely positive he wouldn't if I made a commotion.  
"Have a good day."  
I strangled out above the thundering of my own heart.  
Edward watched me like a hawk through the entire exchange, his molten stare made the muscles in my stomach tighten atrociously and the blood in my veins thicken horribly.  
The front door to the apartment creaked open and slammed shut.

Just like that, Edward and I were alone.

I swallowed thickly, trying to stave off the nausea for just a little longer.  
"Well aren't you going to have a shower, curls?"  
He said the words like an invitation to something lurid while his darkly menacing glare reached it's maximum level of moodiness.  
I balked at him, tired of his ridiculously mean and beautifully soul rendering expression .  
"You can leave now."  
I bit out the words, finding the strength to look away from him and seem as disgusted as I possibly could.  
Treading the glossy floor, I ambled towards my suitcases and gathered the smaller duffle bag which was still perched by the door untouched from when I arrived less than twenty-four hours ago.  
Swinging my bedroom door open, I walked out leaving Edward scowling by himself in front of my bed.

My knees knocked together while I made my way towards the bathroom.  
A mixture of exhausted relief, terror, and rapt fascination mingled around in the pit of my gut.  
I could feel my pulse hammering behind my ears as I opened the door and then locked myself inside.  
Slinging my duffel bag onto the lid of the toilet seat, I exhaled a huge breath finally far enough from Edward to feel like myself.  
In total silence I kicked away my sneakers, toed off my socks, and stripped away my clothing.  
With a steady hand and a quiet mind, I tossed the meager mound of clothing and footwear into the trash bin under the sink.

I _never _wanted to see those garments _ever _again.

Standing in a mismatched pair of underwear with the necklace Agent Arc had just given me dangling between my gaunt clavicles past the edge of my bra, I stared at myself in the mirror.

Yesterday morning, I'd woken up in my childhood bed and ate breakfast with my mother.  
_This _morning, I'd seen two federal agents morph into gargoyle like versions of themselves and learned that I was at the center of some potential world war the likes of which had never been seen before.  
Not to mention, I'd been kidnapped as well.

I scrutinized my reflection waiting for the cracks in my mind to actually manifest on my bare flesh. After a few seconds, I determined that I wasn't going to crumble where I stood.  
In fact, I didn't look like a person who thought they were going to be murdered mere hours ago.  
Instead, my cheeks, normally sunken in and pallid, were flushed rosy pink. Glossy and bright, my brown eyes glittered oddly.  
My fingers drifted down towards my midsection, mindlessly tracing the sore points where Edward's hands pressed my flesh.  
A deep shudder clinked down my bones as I thought of his face so close to mine, his ice cold breath along my warmed skin, and his hickory cologne hazing my senses.

Before I could imagine him any further, I looked away from my reflection.  
Unable to watch myself sink so low as to fantasize about someone like Edward.  
With my back turned away from the mirror and the girl I didn't recognize, I stripped out of everything I wore.  
Clad in only the silver necklace, I turned to the shower as I drew back the fogged sapphire shower curtain, I flipped open the faucet, and waited a second before the water got warm enough.  
As I reached out my hand to test the streaming spray, I caught sight of my wrist.

Bruised purple and scraped raw, the flesh stretching over my bones looked like it could've slithered away from me at any moment.

I retracted my arm with a deep cringe that yanked my features downwards harshly.  
Stepping under the hotly spewing shower head and shutting the semi transparent cerulean shower curtain, I tried not to think of everything that had occurred.

I didn't want to recall what I'd seen this morning.  
The thing Edward became, even though I was living proof _all _things were possible, seemed too much like something out of my worst nightmares.  
Then there was that entire story Agent Arc explained.  
Charlie working for the government, switching sides to fight evil, and being eradicated like a bug by forces unseen and malevolent.  
Finally, there was the danger she spoke of.  
Whatever my father knew, I was about to discover and this, according to her, would put me in danger from the aforementioned mystery forces.

None of it could've been true, I resisted believing just because I was afraid of what it meant, but not for the lack of information.

The steaming spray hit my sore shoulders and cascaded down the length of my body.  
I groaned aloud as the scorching water traveled in rivulets along my spine and over my calves.  
Soaping myself up, I struggled once more to forget the way Edward's body felt crushed against mine, but it was impossible to erase the jaggedness of his breath and his clutching hands.  
My bubble slathered hands grazed my midsection where his fingers had pressed into me. I shivered under the boiling hot shooting torrent of water.  
It was all so twisted, I could hardly believe any of it had happened and there was zero chance in hell anyone would ever believe me if I told them everything I'd witnessed.

So, I found myself in this sort of limbo that I couldn't shake away.  
I existed in a space where I lost completely control of my own values and logical thinking for a few moments of thoughtless oblivion in a stranger's arms.  
My whole universe, in the past twelve hours, had been so distorted from it's original form that I could hardly believe it myself.

In the privacy of my shower, I exhaled a shuddering and heavy breath.  
The pent up tears I'd been sucking back all morning rushed forward uncontrollably while I bent my head under the stream to drown out my quiet sobs. I shut my eyes as I cried about seeing Charlie alive in that picture and because very little made sense since he disappeared.  
Now I had to deal with an entirely different world, where people plotted mass destruction and government agents transformed into demons.  
The weeping turned quickly to mournful shudders as I struggled to connect to the tiny buzz circulating under my flesh.

In my mind, I demanded my abilities to come forward finally, incapable of withstanding anymore distance from it.  
In my heart, I begged for the electric power to come back, because I needed it's familiar burn now more than ever.

Shaking my fingers out, I desperately tried to engage the spark, but absolutely nothing happened.  
The shameful tears flooded me while my soul slithered down the drain along with everything else I'd washed away. The heavy sobs heaved away from my body until I sagged against the hot wet tile of the shower wall.  
I wept until I ran out of tears and strength.

There was something about Agent Arc's story that resonated within me, I couldn't escape that fact.  
It nagged the back of my mind.  
Maybe it was her compassionate face, when she wasn't all monster'd out, that made me want to trust what she said. Maybe it was the photograph of her smiling happily alongside Charlie, I really didn't know what made her different from Edward, but I wanted to trust her.  
She seemed valiantly tortured, like a warrior without an army or a mother abandoned by her young.  
I tilted my face up to the stream of scorching water as I thought about her.  
Agent Arc was a romantic figure who spoke in a way that made her sound infinitely wise.  
She said they'd been protecting both sides for centuries, I know that's what I heard, but I was certain she had been using a royal "we'.

There was no way she could be centuries old.  
No way in hell.  
"Isabella?"  
Edward's voice reached through the door and past the shower curtain to caress my naked flesh.  
My eyes, which were all cried out, flew open as I heard him speak in a gentle tone.  
"Are you alright?"  
He wasn't inside the bathroom with me, but I could hear him as though he whispered the words right over my soaked shoulder.  
I wanted him closer and far away all at once.  
Goosebumps broke out along my midsection while I remained silent under the roar of cascading shower water with my back towards the door.  
I didn't want to answer Edward, I just wanted him to go away because controlling myself was impossible when he was around.

All I could think about was his dark scowl, gruff words, and steely arms.  
All I could imagine was running my fingers through his copper colored hair and trailing my nose along the line of his severe jaw just as he'd done to me.

He distracted me in every way imaginable, even those ways I thought unimaginable, and evoked a plethora of emotions that I simply couldn't deal with.  
"Go away, Edward."  
I whispered in a tiny voice as I let the water pummel me. My plea was met with thick silence.  
Shutting my itchy dry eyes, I once more allowed for the jets to spray down my cheeks as I stood naked and disturbed. Several quiet moments passed before I turned off the faucet, ending my steaming misery bath, with a quick flick of my tender wrist.  
Without a single word I drew back the blue curtain, wrapped myself in a fluffy white towel, and unzipped my duffel bag for a fresh change of clothing.  
I yanked out a pair of yoga pants, though I'd never taken a single class in my life, and a burgundy shirt I got from a school fundraiser I couldn't quite remember.  
The white letters at the front of the shirt were faded away and chipped in so many spots that the words were now indescribable.  
They were just perverted versions of what they used to be, I looked down at the t-shirt and understood it completely.

There was only so much battering _any _one thing could take before sooner or later giving up the fight for clarity.  
I faced the fogged mirror and dropped my towel to the floor.

My skin pulled over my jutting hip bones and stretched across my nearly sunken in stomach in a way that made me want to cringe.  
The purple orb dangling from the long silver chain between the modest slope of my breasts gleamed wetly as my dark hair plastered down the bumps of my spine.  
Looking at my narrow hips and slouched shoulders I wondered slightly when the load would become too much for my frail bones to carry.  
I slipped the wine colored shirt over my head and stepped into the soft black cloth pants, before once again turning away from my own reflection in disgust.  
Digging through my duffel bag I found a hair tie so that I could gather my hanging wet hair into yet another sloppy bun.

As I exited the fog filled bathroom and shuffled barefoot into the silent hallway, I thought of the world I knew yesterday and compared it to the one I woke up to today.  
The door to my bedroom was shut, but I knew he was there on the other side of it waiting for me with those starved yellow ingot eyes.  
I anticipated him and I hated myself for it.  
As far as I could tell there was nothing redeeming about him, yet a part of me wanted to believe that there was.  
Of course, I did have to take into account that he sprouted fangs and manhandled me like a sack of potatoes.  
Also, he scowled at me every chance he got and when he found it absolutely necessary to talk to me he spoke as though I had nothing more than a spud inside my skull.

I couldn't forget about the leather belts either.  
My wrists and ankles throbbed with the evidence of his incredibly tight boy scout knots.

Still, after all was said and done, my limbs didn't fight him off when he grabbed me.  
I didn't scream for help when Jacob was just outside my door. I didn't try to get away.  
I did nothing to save myself, but I couldn't for the life of me understand why.

He infuriated me, but I infuriated me more.

Reaching my hand out to the door knob, I noticed my fingers twitching.  
It seemed my nerves would never get a break, never get just a few minutes of uninterrupted peace and quiet.  
As I grew more aware of my limbs, I noted the way every inch of my skin vibrated.  
The moment my fingertips made contact with the brass knob, I felt a feeling I hadn't really experienced all morning.

Power.  
Scarlet, hissing, and rising power.

Zapping through my hand and up across my chest to shock my heart, the energy made me draw back my arm as though I'd been burned.  
I swayed for a moment, the currents of red-hot electricity flowing under my skin sizzling through my muscles and setting my lower stomach alight. The prickling ping echoed throughout my whole body.  
I shut my eyes for just a second as joy, horror, and relief overwhelmed me before flinging open the door to confront Edward with my unnaturally enhanced vision buzzing in my eye sockets.

Strong enough to blow up buildings, I squared my shoulders and stepped across the threshold.

* * *

**_Thanks for reading!_**


	6. Chapter 6

The entire room was as still as a morgue.

I stood there, with my fingertips nearly sparkling and my spine rigid with pent up energy, staring at the emptiness of my bedroom.  
Edward was gone, I could feel it in the quietness saturating the entire space. A far cry from the experience of actually having him prowling around.  
The only thing that remained of him was the backpack he'd tossed on my bed. It was in the center of my sheets, discreetly zipped up and monotonously plain, holding all of the secrets about my father that had plagued me since his disappearance.

Still, even with the answers just steps away, all I could think of was Edward.  
His scent that still clung to my skin even though I'd tried to scald it away in my shower, those black fangs against his crimson pout, and the incredible thrill of being in his arms.  
I couldn't get away from Edward but, regardless that it was probably best I never saw him again, I wasn't entirely sure I wanted to escape him.  
Frustration bubbled deep within my gut as I strode barefoot towards my bed, sat down on the edge with a leg tucked under me, and gathered the bag into my lap.  
Shutting my eyes I let my hands fall into the cool sheets while I concentrated on unzipping the backpack with my unnatural ability.

I exhaled deeply as I let the surging currents overwhelm my senses.

It wasn't long before the crackling just under my flesh zoomed every which way in an attempt to escape.  
I'd never been with out my power before.  
Feeling it now, rushing through my veins, was a bittersweet relief.  
For as long as I could remember I imagined myself free of the energy I was born with, but experiencing the vacancy I felt without it made me think markedly different.  
Waking up tied to a bed could do that to people.

Prickling energy floated away from my pores as I tightly regulated my own release. As the wisps left me I shuddered and exhaled hugely.  
I felt it, within me alive and shimmering, escaping into the universe like a million bees being knocked from their honeycombs.  
My temples pounded while a pressure at the left side of my face made my entire body sway with dizziness.  
It wasn't at all uncomfortable yet, so I allowed for more voltage to slip away from my tingling flesh as I sat on my bed in quivering silence.  
Tickling up the discs in my back and swirling through my chest cavity, in the solitude of my bedroom I let myself enjoy being connected once more.

Only a few seconds dripped by before I heard a tearing sound that made my eyes snap open.

The backpack, which was shredded and lifeless, floated in the air in front of me completely disemboweled.  
It's contents, the journal, the unmarked envelope, and a cell phone, quivered above the flower like splayed fabric.  
Blinking rapidly, I reigned in my abilities and watched as gravity yanked the items back into the decimated bag.  
My arm shot out to grab the phone once everything had bounced back to the bed sheets, completely surprised to see it as mine had been left behind in my bedroom the night before.

The one in my palm was the newest version, much nicer than mine.  
It looked ridiculously expensive, all glassy and sleek, as I thumbed the center button.

Agent Arc hadn't mentioned anything about a cell phone, but if what she said were true, about government agencies and shadowy supernatural enemies, then it made perfect sense for her to have a direct line to me.  
Maybe one that was untraceable  
My own mind ran rampant with secret agent movie jargon as the phone's screen illuminated beautifully and brightly in my palm.

_Pass code?  
_I thought to myself while grasping the shiny black piece of technology.  
My unoccupied hand drifted up to the side of my face as my digits rubbed circles along the tender flesh at the side of my head. I couldn't have known what the pass code required to access the phone was, but I tried a few numbers anyway too curious to move on from it.

First, I took a stab at the obvious.  
Four ones, then four zeros, and then the first four numbers on the screen's key pad.

Nothing worked as the _wrong code_ message flashed across the top of the glimmering high tech display.  
Biting my lip, I attempted a different strategy. My thumb jabbed at random numbers, twenty-one and thirty-four, but those didn't work either.

Neither did fifty-five and eighty nine.  
My eyebrows furrowed as I tired my birthday, unsure of what else to do.

Zero, nine, and thirteen.  
The cell phone's main menu came into view as my finger pressed the last number.

Curiously, I investigated the phone book.  
There was just a singular phone number labeled unknown in the contacts and no recent calls in the logs.  
Not a single text message or one calendar entry, there was absolutely nothing on the little black phone even though it appeared to belong to someone.

It wasn't a model fresh out of the box, I could tell because of the tiniest little scuff at the bottom that my thumb drifted across.  
On a whim and not expecting to find anything, I tapped the photo album app as a last resort.

My eyes widened as I viewed picture after picture of myself.

All candid, up close, and personal shots. The air all around me suddenly seemed to sizzle as my anxiety levels spiked to near meltdown status.  
"Holy shit."  
I whispered out loud, scattering the silence of my bedroom.  
There must've been at least three hundred of pictures. Some dating back two years ago, I could tell because of my varying haircuts, and some as recent as yesterday.  
I flicked through them with my breath caught in my throat.  
_  
This is insane.  
_My thoughts gasped in sickened awe as I continued viewing the snapshots.

Agent Arc did say that _they _had been watching, I thought back to her gravitas filled explanation of my abduction.  
For some crazed reason, I hadn't immediately realized that actually meant someone had been stalking me.  
I didn't imagine the "watching" being something as lurid as these pictures. Some seemed to be taken from only a few feet away.  
A shudder raced down my spine as my fingertips flicked to the last photo.  
It was of me in the diner paying for my small coffee, with my arm outstretched and credit card in hand.  
Realization slammed into me like a cartoon anvil as soon as I saw it.  
This _had _to be Edward's phone.

My stinging fingers dropped the device like it was a hot coal.

I didn't want to look through his strange phone any longer or wonder why he had pictures of me walking through the halls of my high school, waiting in line at the local grocery store back home, and generally living my admittedly routine life.  
Nothing but nausea graced my senses, that's all I could allow myself to feel when Edward was involved.  
The rest was too confusing to analyze.  
Apparently, he'd been _really _involved for a whole lot longer than I could've ever possibly guessed. These pictures were enough evidence that he'd been lurking in the shadows trailing me and cataloging me like a wild animal for years.  
I wanted to puke up whatever might have been left in my stomach just at the thought of him being within syringe stabbing distance.

Clearing my throat, I batted his phone further across the bed before I reached for the unmarked heavy duty envelope. I tried, literally using all my might, not to think about what his deal was, because I had much-much bigger problems.  
First and foremost was Charlie.  
I needed to focus so that I could help him if he needed it and something deep down told me that he just might.

With a flattened and determined brow, I opened the unmarked package to find a flash drive, a fairly standard sized one without any markings or brand names, and nothing else.  
Again, my mind swam with confusion.  
I sighed and wondered if there any answers provided without a riddle being solved.  
On wobbly legs, I got up to grab my laptop.  
Digging through my bag, I retrieved the computer and came back to sit on my bed in silence. Flipping the lid and turning it on, I waited the few seconds it took before the desktop came into view.  
While my lap top buzzed away on my lap I thought of what could possibly be on the little memory stick.  
I hoped it would be something that made sense, I wasn't sure my fragile psyche could handle another round of conspiracy theories or ghoulish revelations.

I just wanted one thing that I could believe, that's all.

Uncapping the small flash drive, I plugged in and began searching through the files with hesitant key strokes and light mouse clicks.  
There were several folders, all empty with the exception of one.

The last one.

Sucking my bottom lip behind my teeth, I double clicked the file and sat back slightly as a black video screen popped up and began playing.  
"_Bells, if you're watching this that means I'm-".  
_It was Charlie, on my purring computer screen, talking to me from his office in our old Arizona home.

In an instant, a strangled sob choked away from my throat as my fingers tapped the mouse to pause the video in a lightning fast move.  
Tears welled in my eyes while the horrible ache in my chest pulsated and expanded.  
There he was, on my monitor with a solemn expression and his thick mustache, paused mid sentence.  
Seeing him alive was incredible, like soaring through the air hanging on the string of a wild balloon, but hearing his words sent me crashing back down to earth.

He was still gone and, no matter everything I'd been through in the last twenty-four hours, I needed to know why.

Squaring my shoulders, I blinked back my sadness and stuffed down the hurt as I double clicked to allow the video to play once again.  
_"- no longer around. If I'm right, Agent Arc and Agent Cullen have made contact with you. Everything they tell you is true, Bells. You have to trust them even if they tell you things that don't seem right, they are. Lives, billions of them, depend on you believing. I'm sorry for all this, kiddo."  
_I listened to his voice and watched his face all without bursting into tears, but the date at the bottom of the screen made those efforts almost impossible.  
In little white digits flashed a date I'd never forget, it was the day he disappeared.  
My feelings bumped into each other and rebounded across my cranium as I mulled over this fact.  
I had been right all this time.  
Charlie _had_ known something was going to happen to him that day, this video was proof enough to validate what I'd always thought.  
The recording played on while the world around me ground to a screeching halt.  
"_I wish I'd been more honest Bells, but I thought I'd have more time with you. Truth is, I never really thought they'd try to take you back."  
_Charlie smiled, a troubled and heavy type of smile, at the camera before continuing on. _  
"As a young man I made decisions that I regret, but you are the one choice I didn't screw up. I love you. Always have, always will. I just want you to know that. "  
_He cleared his throat before speaking, this time in a much sterner tone._  
"Don't look for me, I haven't survived and they'll expect you to search. Read the journal, trust what it says, and allow Arc to keep you safe. Goodbye, curls."  
_  
The video went black and just like that he was gone again.

My energy laden hand darted out to replay the video, all fifty-one seconds of it.  
Then again once more when the second time watching it still left a million questions scaling my brain.  
I listened intently to everything he said, I scrutinized his every movement he made, and I cataloged his surrounding office within the screen's view.  
Still, after watching the short clip several more times, nothing made sense. I shoved the laptop off of my leg and scrambled for the journal, again desperately unsure of what else to do.

With wide and glassy eyes I read my father's handwriting as I cracked open the cover.

**_Its been about a year since I began working with the DOD, and about six years since my initial discovery of derivable substance V05._**

My stomach plummeted as the first sentence bombed my senses, but I endeavored to complete the page without being sick.

_**Recent on goings have driven me to document my experience with the government.**  
**The funding, at first, was incredible.**  
**Every day there are new materials to work with and opportunities I never thought possible for my research.**  
**It's like being in a kid in a toy store.**  
**Problem is, there are hardly any other doctors in the lab at any given time to share in my "joy". **_

_**Just the technicians, more like jar-heads.** _

**_There was another guy, Dr. Dobbins I think it was, who only lasted a few weeks earlier in the year before I was left alone in the lab again.  
I try not to think about him too much though and as no one brings up his sudden disappearance I keep my mouth shut.  
_****_For now. _**

**_Rene being home with Jacob has worked out, she loves it with him in that new house and being able to take my boy to Solider Park on the weekends is more than I could ask for._**

**_That's why I can't bring myself to burst this bubble with my worries.  
My only ally in the facility seems to be Colonel Farris._**

**_Him and I noticed several new security details popping up around the lab and the surrounding building, we talk about it a lot actually._**

**_He doesn't know what's going on, but he knows things aren't right.  
Findings are transmitted out of the laboratory so that no files exist for cross reference, safety procedures are often ignored, and an entire wing of the building housing the lab is off limits._**

_**I have no idea what it's used for and I get very few answers from my superiors.**  
**So, I've been backing everything up.**  
**Storing most of the research on my personal computer and on remote servers, but I fear it's a matter of time before the work is skewered due to poor storage.**  
**I don't know what's going on most of the time, all I do is work on perfecting inoculation V05.**  
**It's a disconcerting work atmosphere, but I trust the Colonel and he's going along with the changes outwardly.**  
**So, I will too.**  
**For the sake of the science.  
For Jacob and Rene. **  
_  
Quickly, and feeling like I'd fallen into another dimension all together, I turned the page to read on_. _

**_Drug trails proceed, even with my express disapproval and protests.  
Serum _V05 _has been given to human test subjects, though it was explained many times that it was not intended for them.  
No one in the focus group is a supernatural species and most are in fine physical condition. _**

**_It's the ones who come in the best shape who usually show the most troubling side effects which include vomiting, hemorrhaging, and, in the extreme case of subject thirteen, complete molecular breakdown.  
V05 appears to attack healthy cells, forming a massive confusion of nucleotides and a disruption of the subject's base nuclear DNA.  
With the vampires V05 did the exact opposite, mending dead cells, creating and replicating long gone DNA. _**

**_Even the other sups taking the drug were fine too, but on humans there are disastrous conclusions. _**

**_I voice my concerns every chance I get, though I'm at constant odds with myself for doing so.  
These people don't know what they're signing up for when they come to the lab, but I'm scared for Rene and Jacob so I don't push back when I'm told to keep my mouth shut.  
Colonel Farris reminds me that I need to protect them by staying alive.  
I don't know what that means, but it scares me._**

With a shaking hand I turned the page to see more of Charlie's scrawled print.

_**The patients are getting sicker every day. Hell, even by the hour their conditions go from bad to worse.**  
**Their symptoms are puzzling- ARS among them, but too many syndromes to name or properly log.**  
**One subject is so radioactive she's kept in a confinement tank and deprived of all human contact in yet another restricted area of the facility.**  
**It seems every day there are more of these areas popping up out of nowhere.**  
**The sups know what's going on and they're willing to help, but I'm not sure if they can anymore. Things around here are happening that I never thought were possible.**  
**Horrible things I've seen that I wish I could erase from my mind.**  
**Every day I question my morals while the science I created does terrible things to innocent human beings.**  
**Sometimes, I find it hard to look Jacob, my own boy, in the eyes.**  
**I don't know how to get out at this point, but I know I need to.**  
**All I can do now is work to counteract V05 for the remaining survivors, but my progress has been minimal and time is running out for them.  
I fear time is running out for all of us. **_

My eyes scanned the top of the pages before reading on, fluttering the leaves I noted that almost all the entries were months apart.  
The lump in my throat was almost too large to swallow as I returned to read more of Charlie's journal.  
_  
**The General ordered more test subjects this morning, even after my report of Subject ten from test group A.**  
**One of the younger subjects, he's the only one of the original thirteen still alive.**  
**Kid is only sixteen. **_

**_He's on this second round of trails, the first was a series of oral doses which caused serious spinal deterioration and total blindness._**

**_This time around it's injections and, as I predicted, he isn't responding well.  
I've tried to see him as much as I can, even dumping some of the drugs I sign out to administer to him, but it's still only a matter of time.  
I've learned to hate that word, time.  
Poor kid is in bad shape, he needs help._**

**_Every one of my appeals to move him to a hospital are ignored.  
I'm at my wits end.  
Still no progress on the neutralizing substance, V06._**

I swallowed down a gurgle of vomit.  
Reading my father's account of things left no doubt in my mind that before I was born he had been involved in something truly heinous.  
My palms were sweaty and my heart hammered as I turned to the next page.  
Under my prickling fingertips I could feel the pen marks, carved into the sheet violently. The lingering energy all but buzzed off the page.  
_  
**Farris hasn't been to the lab in weeks, reaching him is impossible.**  
**The army personnel around the facility has doubled, but no one seems to know who the hell Colonel Farris is. **_

**_It's like he's been erased, I can't even find documents he'd signed in my office. _**

**_My own computer files with his information were corrupted and all the backed up research is gone.  
_****_I've been hiding this journal in the only place they wouldn't look.  
Along with a couple of boxes of materials and a few important files on remote drivers on the other side, but I've lost everything else.  
Acting normally while at work has become, suddenly, a life or death task.  
Though, I really don't know how much longer I can keep up the charade while innocent people continue to die.  
More and more of them pour in from mental institutions, nursing homes, and orphanages.  
The whole operation is out of control, especially now that sups are being brought in as part of test group B.  
There were two women, vampires, detained and forcibly given the unfinished V06 serum.  
I don't know how they captured them, but I didn't argue, because the armed officers now have posts within the lab itself. _****_A single injection of V06 rendered the two sups incapacitated and the second accelerated the rate of deterioration almost instantly._**

**_The screams from that side of the building are bone chilling. _****_I'm no longer allowed to see them or their charts, but I know what's happening to them is much worse than death._**

**_The atmosphere in the lab is hostile, to say the least. _**

I reread the page again.  
Words like _vampire_, _supernatural_, and bone chilling _screams _seemed to jump out at me.  
For just a second, I lowered the book away from my face.  
With a dazed stare I just sat while my thoughts were vacuumed out of my head.  
I blinked as silence blackened everything around me, shrinking me down to size before shining a huge spot light on my two inch tall body.  
A gust of wind could've knocked me off of my bed as I pondered the possibilities of what I was reading.

Clearly, my dad had been in real trouble, real danger, but I still didn't know how I fit into the equation.  
Lifting Charlie's journal back towards my nose, I tried to concentrate on the rest of his words and not the sheen of sweat breaking out across my pallid forehead or the tremble of anxiety that ate away at me.  
_  
**Subject ten- **_

Charlie began, but then crossed out violently with several dark pen marks before beginning again directly under.

_**Ariel died today.**  
**It was hard to watch the kid go like that, scared and begging for me to help the others.**  
**I haven't been home in a few days. **__**Every time I think about him I cry like a baby, the guilt is killing me.**_

_**V06 is just as bad as it's predecessor, if not worse.**  
**My abilities as a scientist and the oaths I took when I became a physician mean nothing anymore.**  
**Nothing means anything any more.** _

My eyebrows rose on their own accord, completely bowled over by what I was reading.  
It was beyond incredible, it was unbelievably horrifying.  
In my mind I could almost hear his voice saying that he couldn't carry on anymore, that he was scared, and that he'd witnessed the deaths of his human experiments.  
I stifled the tears that jammed up my throat as my thoughts ran wild.  
Instead of crying, I turned yet another scribbled page needing to read more about the father I never really knew at all.

**_It's been a few days since they brought the child in and every day she's here I fight not to smuggle her out.  
She's a baby , but to them she's just test subject forty-four from test group B.  
__I visit every chance I get, but my clearance is being monitored after I had to be escorted out of the room when I realized what the lab technicians were doing to her.  
Administering the first round of medications intravenously to a toddler, I thought I'd seen it all, but I'll never forget her frightened little face.  
For as long as I live, I'll never forget what I'm a part of here.  
Still no word on Farris, measures at the lab have made it impossible to continue working on the cure without him around._**

**_I've come to the realization that the people I've been working for don't want any cures, they never did, and they aren't going to give me any answers._**

**_Now more than ever, finding the cure is imperative though it is an impossible feat in the makeshift laboratory in my garage.  
The only thing that drives me to continue on are theses simple words: The sooner the better.  
Sooner, is my new talisman. _**

**_Sooner for the brown eyed little orphan girl without a name, because it wasn't soon enough for Ariel or any of the others who had the misfortune of visiting this facility. _**

**_Confiding in Rene may have been stupid, she thinks fleeing is the only option left.  
The sups can get us new identities if we leave fast enough, but I'm not sure the General won't be able to find us regardless of where we go._**

I wanted to stop reading but I couldn't.  
I flipped another page.

**_We've been running for a couple of days now.  
Rene can't be pried away from the baby, spending every waking hour with her.  
She discusses names with Jacob, they both adore her, but I'm not sure how long the little girl has.  
I worry about them getting attached, as attached as I am, but I keep my thoughts to myself about it.  
The baby had already been given massive amounts of both V05 and it's sister compound V06 before I could get to her, though she doesn't show any signs of radiation sickness or degeneration yet.  
There's no way for me to know the extent of the damage at this point.  
As soon as we're set up, I'll be resuming my search for the inoculation. I need to fix her, I owe her that much.  
_**_**Another thing, I've noticed the sups and the way they are around her.**_

_**They're very interested in the child, especially Arc.**_  
_**She watches the baby like a hawk, which gives me little comfort as we travel from state to state with starving paranormal entities**_.

**_The girl has been through enough, I just hope it wasn't all in vain._**

My fingers frantically turned another leaflet while my brain fishtailed. Bombs went off in my ears, my skin crawled, and my heart hammered as Charlie's journal blew my mind.  
I felt anxious energy surging up the sides of my neck to pierce my temples.

**_We settled on Isabella, after Rene's grandma._**  
**_Though she wanted to name her Abigail after mine.  
I reminded her that Granma Gail, may she rest in peace, wore her underwear on the outside of her skirts and baby powdered her hair.  
She also served road kill on Easter Sundays as a rule.  
Today, for the first time in longer than I can remember, I felt contentment in our new home…just the four of us._**

**_It's been a while since I've felt light enough to smile, but Isabella seems to bring happiness with her. _**

**_I'm not ashamed to admit, even if it's just to myself, that I live to see her smile in my direction.  
Of course once I took her from the facility I knew our old life was gone, that was a chance we were all willing to make for her.  
Everything has been changed, thanks to the sups, including all of our personal information, social security numbers, and medical records._**

**_We're the Swan family now, which is strange to say and even stranger to write.  
No progress has been made with the cure, but Isabella is beginning to exhibit very interesting abilities.  
I can only blame the mixture of my serums for her condition, though when she was initially brought into the lab I wasn't given her medical history.  
Her reaction is puzzling.  
The only information that existed about her was that she was an orphaned child in an unlisted government funded home._**

**_That's it. _**

**_Performing more tests on her is out of the question for now, but I still have no theories as to how she's surviving.  
I'm thankful for it, but I need to know how.  
I first noticed the changes in her behavior about a week ago, while watching a Bears game._**

**_She clapped along with the halftime music while the popcorn between us shot up into the air like she was microwaving them.  
_****_Isabella exhibited more signs of telekinesis when Agent Arc and the others left the house a few days ago.  
_****_She melted toys, mostly Jacob's, but she'd also set her food on fire and on one occasion, she even cried blood. _**

**_It's not easy to admit, seeing her that way makes me wonder what's in store for her future.  
I've begun closely cataloguing every event in a separate journal.  
_**

I dropped the book in my lap unable to read anymore and feeling sick enough to spew my guts everywhere in wailing heaves.

Shaking and near hyperventilating, I fought back the tears too stunned to cry.  
There were so many questions, too many to formulate any actual thoughts, but the theme of the emotions swirling within me were darkly violent.  
The truth about my life glared up at me from Charlie's journal.  
Gripping the side of the bed, I swayed as the universe spun crazily and my unnatural power buzzed in my veins.  
My every fiber tightened and recoiled while I forced myself to analyze the information I'd just absorbed.

All my life, my conscious life, I wondered why I was able to do the things I could do, but being a science experiment was never on the list of possibilities.

Bella Swan, as I knew her, didn't really exist.  
According to my father's writing I was subject 44 in test group B.  
A nameless orphan from some forgotten and tragic halfway house that no one bothered to document.

I felt green.

Opening my mouth to suck down more air, my lungs expanded painfully as I gulped and gagged like a person drowning.  
Without thinking, my arm reached out to the cell phone and dialed the only number listed.  
A voice I couldn't really hear answered and I spoke for the first time in what felt like ages.  
"Help me."  
I croaked out as the shimmering under my flesh heightened to volatile levels.

The pent up emotions, the exhaustion I felt, and the sheer shock of reading Charlie's journal after being abducted the night before made it impossible for me to stop the energy from flowing through me.  
It all radiated away from my skin in a tangible undulation of shivering particles.  
Dropping the little black device before I could melt it in my palm, I struggled to stave of the panic attack chomping at my heels.  
Standing upright was a monumental task, but I did it anyway.  
I felt like I could explode into flames at any moment and, as completely ridiculous as it was, I didn't want to destroy Charlie's journal or ruin the video of him just yet.

Stumbling to the center of my the room, I gasped and whimpered as the power overwhelmed my distraught body.  
My hair tie, holding my still damp curls, snapped releasing the wet vines so they could slap against my back.  
The pressure along my spine lifted me up onto tip toes and made me arch my back slightly while I quaked with swarming power.  
I'd never felt so strong and so out of control in my entire life.  
A hazy red fog clouded over my vision, making it impossible for me to see anything, while my heart thundered in my ears .

Robbed of my senses, all I could do was _feel_.  
And those feelings were like nothing I'd ever known before- ravenously starved, mournfully angry, and helplessly sad.  
The snapping currents rose within me, ready to demolish the world one huge zap.  
In the pit of my stomach I could almost feel the absolute and distinctly primal hunger for destruction eating me alive.

I wanted to move from where I stood or scream out for help, but most of all I wanted to swallow the universe up in flames.

Very suddenly, two huge arms yanked me into a steely embrace, knocking the air out of my lungs and scattering my wet hair with the force of the embrace.  
I was too blinded by the heinous pain gouging my heart out to understand what was happening, but a tiny part of me was aware that _he _was near.  
The electricity deep in my belly set the rest of my body aflame, mostly because of my stunned state, but also because of his proximity.  
"Calm down, Isabella."  
I could hear his venomously smooth voice caressing my ears.  
It was impossible for me to respond to him.  
All I could imagine was my life, the way I knew it yesterday- the way I knew it a year ago.

The home schooling, the endless days of exercises using my abilities, and Charlie's diligent journaling. Those little nuances of my everyday life back then took on a whole different meaning in the light of what I'd just read in his own handwriting.  
Most of all, I wondered why Charlie just hadn't been honest with me.

I crashed against Edward's chest as an upsurge of molten power made my knees buckle and my legs tremor.  
"Esme, she's losing control fast."  
Edward's words we so close I could taste his sweet breath on my tongue while my balance capsized and I allowed for the currents of energy to sweep me away.  
The air around us crackled and hissed.  
I would've liked to say that the voltage simply escaped me because of all the information I'd learned, but the truth was I actively forced it out in his direction.  
In huge suffocating gusts I let myself to slide into a full on meltdown.  
His solid body was pressed so tightly against mine that it was painful, but I continued to blast away the horrible power as though he wasn't even there- as though I could go right through him.

He held onto me steadfastly, his deceivingly limber arms crushing my sides and bruising my skin while I tilted my head to gasp for oxygen.  
The feeling of being burned alive couldn't compare to being electrocuted from within, but I couldn't stop myself.

I didn't want to stop myself.  
Tears I didn't know I'd been crying sizzled as they slid down my boiling cheek.  
"Please, Bella. Stop!"  
Edward's strangled words left his lips in a whisper against my ear.  
I could feel the coldness of his neck and the trembling state of his body before he slid to a heap at my feet.  
He hit the floor with a huge clatter.

Instantly, awareness slammed me back into reality as the deafening noise echoed above the pounding in my head.  
The static prickling over every inch of my body died down long enough for me to blink away the crimson murkiness blinding me.  
As my eyelashes fluttered, I could see Edward and his crumpled body at my feet.

_Oh my god.  
_I thought to myself while I swooped down to his level.  
"Edward!"  
His name scratched away from my lips without my consent as my shaking hands ghosted over his forehead to push back his hair before scurrying down his neck to check for a pulse.  
Lightly buzzing, my fingers fumbled across his perfectly flawless skin while I clumsily searched for signs of life.  
I wanted to stop touching him, because the feel of his satin flesh was distracting and my emotions couldn't handle any more jostling, but I continued my rotation from his luscious head of hair to his creamy white neck.

There was no thrum of a pulse, no nostril flairs, there wasn't anything indicating he was alive.

Not a single sign.

Without any forethought at all, I began zapping energy into his pulse points and at his temples, frantic to get him back into consciousness and horrified that I might've killed him.  
First I tired at his wrists and then back at his neck, but nothing coaxed him out of his lifelessly wilted state.  
After a few moments, I finally tore my hands away from his skin when my own emotions threatened to topple my senses.  
He remained folded over on himself as I sat back on my heels, unsure of what to do with the dead body in my bedroom and sickened by the guilt of murder.  
For a very quiet and still moment, I contemplated what had just occurred and thought about my reality as it existed right that second.  
Reason tried to persuade me that I'd done the world a favor by putting down a kidnapper and someone who sprouted fangs, but my heart knew logic was out of line this time.

No matter what Edward was, he didn't deserve to die.  
Not by my hands.

Everything was so twisted, so utterly backwards, and nothing made sense any more.  
It felt like a nightmare I couldn't escape and the dead person in front of me was proof that I wouldn't be waking up any time soon. I scooted closer to him, gathering his head in my lap, not questioning my actions just allowing my instincts to take over. Mindlessly, I ran my fingers through his thick multicolored hair over and over again as the uneasy silence of my bedroom enveloped us both.  
The silky feeling of his locks made the guilt inside me almost come up my throat and choke me to death.  
"I'm so sorry."  
I murmured to the unresponsive corpse in my arms.

Without his trademark scowl Edward was truly a sight to behold. Angelic and demonic all at once.

The strong symmetry of his features stood out against the shockingly white color of his unblemished skin and the severe line of his square jaw shadowed down to his neck.  
I _really _looked at him.  
He was almost too beautiful to be real.

_He's real dead now.  
_My own thoughts sneered as I unconsciously ran my thumb across his full flushed pink bottom lip while my other hand cupped his cold cheek.  
"Isabella?"  
Agent Arc's gentle voice drifted across the top of my head, surprising my hands away from Edward's face to clutch the front of his t-shirt while the breath exploded from my lungs.  
I looked up at her, the space behind where she stood shimmered strangely meaning she had arrived in the center of my bedroom by teleporting from somewhere else.

Deep in a tiny still sound part of my mind, I noted the similarities between the three of us. Or rather, the two of us and the corpse.

She stood there curiously watching me, posed like a vixen from a black and white movie with the doorway behind her framing the silhouette of her figure. All red lipstick, dark silky suit, and honey caramel colored waves while I gripped Edward's clothing like a slimy leech.  
Her voice penetrated through the swampy fog in my own mind as she took a few cautious high heeled steps in our direction.  
"Child, you must get away from him right now. You're taking his energy quicker than he can replace it."  
She bent down to curl her slender dove white hands around my trembling ones before speaking to me as though her words were disarming a bomb.  
"There is much you don't know about your gift, but I promise if you come with me, away from Edward, I will explain as much as I can."  
I gazed up into her compassionate filled golden colored irises and saw my own ghastly reflection perfectly clearly.  
The sight was frightening.  
Feral eyes and a gaunt face stared back at me.

I allowed her to pull me up and lead me away from Edward's still motionless body.  
I didn't look back at him, too remorseful and far too confused at the twinge of satisfaction I felt over crushing Edward into a pile on my bedroom floor.  
Agent Arc walked me towards the living room before tenderly releasing my humming palms and lightly sitting me down on the sofa.  
"I will assume you've learned about your history, I'm sorry it had to be this way. How much of the journal have you read?"  
She asked, taking my hands in hers once more as she lowered herself elegantly beside me.  
Her thumbs, which gave off a warm energy of their own, rubbed little circles into my skin.  
Sucking in a massive breath I let the words tumble away from my lips.  
"I don't know, enough."  
I shrugged my shoulders and shook my head while she looked on at me with a knowing expression.  
She seemed to wear that expression often, I noted to myself.

My loosely hanging wet hair left splotches of moisture in various areas of my burgundy high school t-shirt as I dropped my gaze.  
"None of it seems real though."  
I mumbled down to our joined hands, hers cupping mine.  
With a shift of my body, I pulled away from her freezing touch.  
Her face fell slightly as I scooted to put a little space between us.  
"Unfortunately, it's all very real. The people we hid your family from are a _real _danger and they know you're alive now. You aren't safe here any longer."  
Agent Arc folded her hands as she crossed her long legs before her red lipstick slathered mouth formed her accent hugged words.  
"They believe they can use you to start a war."  
Her voice wavered at the end as my eyebrows drew up into my hairline and my spine straightened marginally at what she'd said.  
"Who are _they_?"  
I questioned, tired of not knowing exactly which end the threat was coming from.  
"Well, that's probably the hardest question to answer. We really don't know everyone in this particular group, but the government and it's arms branches are the most aggressive of your pursuers. World leaders, terrorists sectors, supernatural resistance groups- they all want to use you as a weapon."  
Arc's perfectly manicured light brown eyebrows quirked as she rattled off the list of people who also wanted to drug and kidnap me.

I felt my shoulders rising up to my ears defensively as I found my voice to ask another question.  
"Can they?"  
I was really unsure if I wanted to know the answer from her, because deep down I already knew it was completely plausible that someone like me might be a walking suicide bomber.  
"Yes."  
She stated simply confirming my own worst fear with her perfectly proportioned mouth drawing down into a frown.  
As she sipped in a gracefully dainty breath she tried to explain while I sat slightly stunned, but still raptly listening.  
"Your father-"  
Agent Arc began, but I cut her off in a small voice.  
"He wasn't my father. I'm an orphan."  
Saying it aloud was even worse than thinking it.

I don't know why I said it, but I just needed to get it out of my brain.

The words that scraped away from my chapped lips punched holes into my chest, making it almost impossible not to begin crying again.  
I didn't really mean what I'd said, but I was tired of crying and tired of being lied to.  
Lashing out, even at Charlie's memory, made me feel less shitty for just a millisecond.  
"I don't want to hear you say that, ever again."  
Suddenly the atmosphere between us sparkled with hostility.  
Her voice growled out at me as her yellow eyes turned positively acidic. I recoiled at her sudden change, shifting my neck and widening my eyes.  
She didn't grow devil fangs or do the black spooky eye thing, but somehow this transformation was prodigiously more frightening.  
The skin over her knuckles stretched and tightened while she clasped her hands together tightly.

Sunlight, brightly joyful and blissfully ignorant, streamed through the living room windows bathing everything behind her.  
"You're part of a family. A very special one, that risked everything for you. You don't have the luxury of being angry at your fate, child. Time is running out for all of us."  
The velvety sound of her voice contrasted with the epic statement she uttered and the smooth set of her precisely curved brows.  
"What does that even mean?"  
I said, truly confused and honestly exhausted of all the doomsday one liners coming at me from every direction.  
Agent Arc shut her eyes for a moment, took a cleansing breath, and then fluttered her eyelashes to open her eyes.  
Her moment of anger seemingly over quicker than it had begun, her expression slid back into that weird mother nature stare she had going on.  
"It means that you were stolen by the United States government from the other side, experimented on with drugs created by your father, and turned into the ultimate weapon of mass destruction. Now both supernaturals and humans, are after you."  
Agent Arc didn't sugar coat anything this time around.

I sat back against the cushions with a giant huff as what she said sunk into my bones and oozed into my soul.  
"Other side?"  
I croaked out.  
"Yes, the world you know is shared by invisible and visible plains where alike species exist. Humans don't travel through these realms, but supernatural beings can transverse from place to place using lateral pockets. I guess you could call them worm holes, if that makes it easier for you to understand."  
Agent Arc took a measured breath before continuing on.  
"Our existence is kept secret from the population by an understanding between our world and certain very powerful humans. Cooperation for food and security for our advanced knowledge of science. It's an unspoken treaty that's lasted since the beginning of time."  
My forehead creased as I tried to understand the her last few words, but before my pathetically slow mind could process the information my dumb mouth spoke up.  
"Cooperation for food?"  
I asked, rolling the vowels around in my mouth like loose teeth.  
She sighed deeply and nodded her head solemnly.

The movement made her sleek tawny colored waves shiver over just one of her angular shoulders.  
"Vampires drink human blood, Isabella, and the Werewolves require fresh organs each full moon. Poltergeists need bodies to possess, the Mahrts feed from nightmares, and Slender men live off the fear of human victims."  
She shrugged heavily as her incredible information floated in the air between us.

My mind sputtered to a complete stop.

"I know those things aren't pleasant to hear, but there always needs to be a balance. Without the supernatural world the humans cannot thrive. Populations would boom, cities could break under the pressure, and entire societies can crumble. Without the human world the supernatural one could not exist either. We would simply starve. Our intelligence believes a human organization, funded by the most powerful people in the world, is planning to use you to conquer our world and eradicate the paranormal species that live within it."  
I listened, more alert than I'd been all morning as she said outrageous things.  
Things I couldn't wrap my head around, things that no Hollywood movie or creepy thriller paperback could compare to.

_What the fuck is a Mahrt?  
_My puzzled thoughts whispered.

Agent Arc rolled her shoulders as she steadily gazed into my eyes, gauging my reactions and observing my every movement when it suddenly hit me what she said.  
"Wait, you said I was stolen from-"  
I interrupted myself as I gulped nosily.  
"Over there. The other side."  
My voice sounded too tight to be my own as I tried to ask the question I couldn't formulate properly.  
I wondered, for just one delirious moment, if I was being possessed right this second.  
"Yes, but you were born a human. The first of your kind in our world, born to two of the oldest vampires in creation. As you can imagine our side is not at all prepared for babies."  
Her story was becoming more and more warped with every question I asked.

It seemed there would be no end to the slippery slope of insanity I found myself careening down.  
A sick smirk crossed my face as my emotions tumbled out of control.  
I wanted to mournfully wail and laugh out loud simultaneously, but instead I scoffed lightly before speaking.  
"That's ridiculous."  
I said, allowing for a cynically rambling snigger to escape my lips.  
The space between us fell deathly silent.  
Agent Arc looked at me as though _I _was the one telling her that my parents were ancient vampires, the world I lived in was an illusion, and that the boogie man's hoard of creepy friends did indeed exist.

Somewhere though, in the back of my mind, I could hear Charlie's small and far off voice pleading with me to believe her.  
Deep in my heart, no matter what was in the journal and no matter what immature words came from my mouth, he would always be my Dad.  
"I don't know what else I can say to you, Isabella. I'm offering you the answers I have."  
She seemed defeated and deflated as her words whispered away from her ruby red lips.  
A pang of guilt gripped my heart as I watched her address me with those sincere golden eyes and a desperate tinge to that accent I couldn't quite place.  
"I'm sorry."  
I mumbled to her, genuinely remorseful for being unkind to the only person in the apartment who hadn't accosted me or roped me to a bed.  
"I just- it's just-"  
My clumsy mouth fumbled and words failed me as I tried to explain myself, but before I could Agent Arc was speaking once more.  
"The blood in your veins is creation's legacy, that's what the world over there thinks. It's a royal legacy that people like Agent Cullen and myself were sworn to protect long ago. You were born out of peace, but you've been turned into a machine of war and for that I'm deeply sorry."  
I believed her, somewhere inside my heart I trusted that she was sorry for the cluster fuck of a morning/ life I was stuck with.  
"You were stolen from your biological parents, but you were never an orphan. I've always been with you. Even if this side dulls our bond, you know you can trust me. Have you honestly never wondered how you've survived this long with the type of power you have? It's no accident, I think you know that."  
Agent Arc's delicate tone rose above the sunbeam filled air and bounced along the white molding trimmed walls.

I thought nothing of answering honestly, something in her face forced me to divulge everything.  
So, for the first time in longer than I could remember I said the absolute truth aloud.  
"Sometimes, it's like a hunger I can't ignore."  
I whispered into the sunbathed universe around us, words that I'd only ever thought to myself.

They were shameful and cowardly words.  
"What is it that you hunger for?"  
She leaned forward a bit as she spoke causing her waterfall of tumbling fawn colored hair to shimmy and glimmer beautifully.  
I shrugged my shoulders and answered her without looking directly into her searching stare.  
"Destruction."  
Murmuring the truth, in it's simplest most bare bones form, made me feel infinitely worse than before.  
For a split second I mulled over every person in my life who'd ever said _"sharing will make you feel better."._

Those assholes didn't know what they were talking about, not by a long shot.

I could feel Agent Arc's trepidation as she angled her head to observe me ever closer.  
"I'm a very old creature, Isabella, and I've seen real destruction- real evil. All I see in you is goodness, strength, and hope that refuses to die. Even as a little baby I could see what you would become."  
Her gentle rose colored smile bloomed across her face as she unfolded her long stems to stand up.  
"Your body may not have been born into this life as an immortal one, but your soul is eternal. There's a warrior in there, you just don't believe it yet."  
She pointed to my chest, before running her elegant hand down the front of her open black blazer.  
"Come to the kitchen, I'll make you something to eat. You look too thin."  
The flowing harmony of her lightly accented words twirled in the air as her pristine black button up shirt, which was tucked in neatly to her well fitted trousers, glimmered cleanly.

She outstretched a slender ring less hand for me to take.  
"Oh, I'm not really hungry."  
I breathed, looking up at her while dually grimacing at the thought of eating anything.

The simple act of chewing might break my face in half, swallowing down chunks of something may very well make me puke, and digesting anything right now could cause my stomach acids to just burn right through my guts in protest.  
There was no way I was going to eat anything, for a while.  
Maybe even ever again.

"You're right, Esme. She's all bones and no meat."  
Edward's voice flicked a match onto the haystack of my mind as I whipped my head towards where his voice came from.  
Nearly knocking Agent Arc over in my haste I shot up to my feet, instantly regretting my guilt over incapacitating him.  
He sounded so smug and condescending that I almost wanted to send him back to his knees.  
The shiver of power at my fingertips hummed in agreement. My eyes widened when I saw him, leaning not standing, against the arch of the hallway looking at Agent Arc and completely ignoring me.  
"Esme, I need a few vics."  
He said very seriously to Arc, again as though I wasn't there at all.  
I could feel my insides jumping around and my heart clobbering against my ribcage, but I couldn't feel the ground below me.  
"That's fine, I've brought some with me. Bring the bag by the door to the kitchen, I'll prepare your vics while I make Isabella something to eat."  
This time, I whipped my head towards Arc.

Ready to argue, I let my mouth hang open slightly as a protest formed on the tip of my tongue and indignation rose hotly in my throat.  
She turned away from me before I could formulate any words, leaving me and a very silent Edward alone in the living room once she disappeared into the kitchen.

I could feel him burning holes into my back with his gaze, but I couldn't face him. Not when I still felt his residual energy just under my skin from when I'd sucked it away from him.  
A violent shudder ripped down my spine as I remembered the feeling of being wrapped up in his arms.  
Swallowing back my nausea and ignoring the tingling along my palms, I forced my legs to move after Agent Arc preferring her company over his.

Suddenly, I felt very hungry.

I quietly ghosted to the kitchen with everything I'd learned in the last twenty-four hours running through my mind and Edward's scowl hot on my heels.  
"Please sit."  
Agent Arc said as she motioned to the little breakfast nook by the fridge which she stood in front of.  
With both silver doors open and both her arms outstretched inside the refrigerator, I watched the ethereal creature with gold spun hair doing the most mundane of things.  
"How about a sandwich?"  
She asked very simply without looking up from the packed shelves of food.  
I pulled out one of the two wooden chairs and sank into my seat while I answered her.  
"Yeah, that sounds good."  
My stomach grumbled in begrudging agreement.  
In total silence, I watched her remove the jar of mayo and place it on the counter.  
She went back to the fridge for the ham, cheese, and mustard before knocking the doors shut with her hip.

Once all of the items were neatly lined up on the counter she turned to me and continued speaking.  
"You're the only human that's ever been on our side, the only one who can travel from realm to realm. We were unable to bring you back because you'd already been injected with the drugs and at that time we didn't know much about the effects. We hid you and Charlie's family in a time bridge while he worked with you and your gifts."  
My eyebrows twisted in confusion, but before I could ask her what she meant she was speaking once more.  
"A time bridge is the arch under a wormhole, your entire house was a time bridge, most supernatural beings never cross into this space because it's uncomfortable and troublesome. So, hiding you and your new family there was the safest option."  
Behind her the ingredients floated around as she remotely built my snack.  
I could almost feel her power, shimmering away from her flesh and hitting my cheeks like the warmth of the sun while I tried to digest the insane information she spoon fed me.

I shut my eyes for a moment and swallowed thickly, simply trying to stomach it all.  
"What you described as hunger, is very accurate you know."  
Agent Arc smiled tenderly in my direction while she continued on.  
"You hunger, but not for destruction. You require energy from humans. Just like in the airport, just like at school- your release technique only allows for you to rid yourself of anxious power, but in the process of doing so you leave yourself wide open for the energy of others around you to seep right in. Our kind can't do that without harming humans. Your control is remarkable."  
My eyes snapped open as she stood with her back to her kitchen counter and pieces of my deconstructed sandwich hovering behind her.  
"So, I'm an energy vampire? That's great."  
I murmured sourly as I crossed my bare arms across my chest.  
Arc must've found my expression amusing, because she giggled lightly and personably.

Her golden eyes danced as she responded.  
"Again, very accurate. You're a very clever girl."  
She said words that would normally make me feel uncomfortable, but instead of bowing my head down or hiding behind the curtain of my hair I forced out a tight smile in her direction.  
Edward strolled into the kitchen, his presence filling the space and his scowl stifling the easy air between Esme and I.  
In an instant, my smile dropped off of my face.

He passed her a bag, a small and unassuming brown leather bag, before gliding to the other chair at the cherry wood round table.  
"She's not that clever, Esme. Look at everything we've told her, everything she's read and seen with her own eyes and she still doesn't really believe you."  
His sharply cutting words twisted my insides and set my teeth on edge.  
"Edward, you're being so unkind."  
Agent Arc admonished him while I sat, glaring daggers into his beautifully sculpted t-shirt clad chest.  
"She nearly killed me!"  
He snarled like the beast he was as a giant scoff rolled up my throat and exploded away from my lips.  
My eyes bulged in incredulousness at his accusatory statement.  
"You. Kidnapped. Me."  
I bit out at him as hot voltage shot through my core and threatened to escape me.  
The rising fury and building stress overwhelmed me quickly.  
"You drugged me and tied me to your bed! Fuck you."  
I didn't scream the words, but I wanted to.

He simply shrugged in my direction and offered an arrogant smile. No apology, not even a single remorseful look for what he'd put me through.  
The static current flooding my veins forced me to dart out of my chair, knocking it over and sending it crashing to the ground.

I'd never felt like such a fool before, but I deeply regretted the emotional turmoil I felt when I thought I'd killed Edward.

Now, I wanted to slap his handsome face, strangle his perfectly velvety neck, and rip out his luxurious copper hair.  
My knees bent slightly as I felt the urge to pounce across the table at him so that I could wipe the floor with his stupid expression.  
The burning in my palms encouraged me to grab a hold of his thick forearms and drain what little energy he had, but before I could move a step closer to him Esme was there.  
Behind me, holding me tightly, and demanding that I restrain myself in a worried tone.  
Her embrace was like a vice, but I could feel the electric sparks of my strength breaking through her little by little like a chainsaw to a redwood.  
"Please don't, Isabella. You can kill him and you will if you lose control again."  
The way she said the words, mournfully and pleadingly made me immediately stop pulsating power and struggling against her to get to Edward.

He sat unmoved, as though dying in my kitchen wouldn't trouble him at all. I felt disgusted at myself that I'd touched him the way I had and that I'd ever worried about his wellbeing.

Relaxing my shoulders and sucking down a huge breath of Agent Arc's flowery perfume, I focused on balancing myself.

After a few tense moments, I felt the calm returning and the voltage subsiding.  
"I'm sorry, I'm okay now."  
I mumbled to her.  
Agent Arc released me from her steel cage grip before taking a few steps back to the counter.  
Trying not to look at Edward, knowing he'd either be self-satisfied or threatening, I walked back to my chair and picked it up from the floor.

Plunging back into it, I once more crossed my arms.  
"My, you are very strong over here."  
She exhaled quietly, more to herself than anything.  
Her slightly trembling hands grabbed the chrome handle bar of the cabinet above her head to remove a small plate.

She placed my finished sandwich on it and turned to serve me. Gently setting the dish down in front of me, she back away rubbing her palms together lightly as a strange look drifted across her face.  
"Being in this world certainly strengthens you, the energy is all around for you to take. We should think about getting you back to the other side soon, Isabella."  
Agent Arc spoke as she busied herself putting the fixings for my sandwich back into the fridge before turning to the little brown leather bag the unnamed asshole sitting across from me gave her.  
"Edward, would you like yours warmed?"  
She asked him while turning around with six little vials in her hand.  
Three were very obviously blood, but the other three simply puzzled me.

They were filled with a deep blue liquid that seemed to swirl inside the little glass tubes even though Arc's hand was perfectly still.  
"No, I'll take them cold."  
His gruff voice broke into my inspection while Esme reached to hand him two red vials and one of the blue ones.  
"What are those?"  
I croaked to Agent Arc as I sat in front of my untouched sandwich.

After all, I couldn't be expected to eat while they downed human blood in my kitchen.  
"It's blood. We're vampires, clever one."  
Edward's taunting tone made me grit my teeth, but I still refused to look at him.  
His appearance made it difficult to maintain the level of hatred I needed to think clearly around him and his snide comments.  
"Edward…"  
Arc warned with a stern voice before answering me in a much gentler one.  
"This is one of your father's many great contributions to our world, Isabella."  
She opened her hand as the three little vials levitated and spun in the center of her palm.  
"It's a vic, short for victual, which allows for a very little amount of blood to be stretched to it's full potential. Vampires that wish not to feed live or ones that can't be trusted to do so can consume donated blood with the help of the vics. The serum can trick us into thinking we're getting our fill. It also cleans the system after a drink, humans have many diseases and parasites that can be transmitted."  
Agent Arc's voice soared above the noise in my own mind as she explained the alien blue substance twirling above her open hand.  
"Worst of all, it tastes like shit."  
Edward's velvety words scraped against my brain making me pucker my brow and shift against the urge to address him with my fiery fists.

I could feel him pushing me to see another episode of meltdown Bella, but I wasn't going to give him that satisfaction without putting up a fight.

Agent Arc sighed out loud before grabbing her vics out of the air, uncapping them swiftly, and sucking back the contents in one gulp.  
She turned quickly to dispose of the glass in the garbage can under the sink and then faced us once more. I watched her closely as she shut her eyes for just a second, when she opened them again I was met with those freaky black orbs instead of her sparkling glitter gold stare.  
Seeing her onyx colored gaze sent a shiver of fear up my spine, which she of course observed with her otherworldly vision.  
"This is only a momentary side effect of the vic, I'm not going to hurt you. No fangs, see?"  
Her accented words whispered away from her heart shaped crimson pout which she stretched over her teeth to show me that there were indeed no fangs to behold.  
Relief flooded me as I inspected her while she blinked slowly in my direction without speaking.

In the reflection of her stare I could see Edward in the same state, presumably after drinking his vials.  
Unable to resist, I turned my head in his direction for the first time since I'd composed myself.  
Something about him, when his eyes were clouded over with that bottomless inky color, tugged at my heart strings.  
He was a sad sight this way, loneliness and loathing all but radiated away from his flawless skin.  
I wanted to punch through my own chest to remove the sympathetic organ from my own body so that I wouldn't even think sentimentally about him, but my arms wouldn't budge.

Then, I noticed the tiny trickle of blood at the corner of his plush mouth.

I watched in sick fascination as his long pink tongue slithered past his lips to lap at the crimson teardrop. Edward flashed a cruel and knowing smile at me, causing my cheeks to burn violently as I blushed ridiculously.  
"So, what happens if I go with you? I live happily ever after or something?"  
I asked, tearing my eyes away from him.  
A little breathless and a lot ashamed for giving him the satisfaction of my attention.

His bark of laughter made me frown, the beautiful sound of it stabbed my eardrums and twisted my guts into knots.  
Agent Arc looked down at me with her lady of the night eyes and gently sighed before answering me in a heavy tone.  
"We're going to prepare you for war. The rest is up to you, Isabella."  
She raised a pale willowy hand to smooth of the river of flowing hair down her right shoulder while closing her eyes. This time with a flutter of her long lashes, she was back to her normal self and the breath I'd be holding hissed away from my lungs.

In a blinding instant, everything that I'd discovered in the last twenty-four hours became frighteningly real. The moment was silent and clear, despite the two vampires in my kitchen.  
As everything that I ever wondered, every thought I'd ever had, seemed trivial and trite in the hard light of my new reality.  
I found myself as Bella Swan, orphan subject forty-four, and war mongering science experiment.  
Destroyer, savior, and victim all lived within me.

And space was getting dangerously tight.

* * *

**Thanks again for reading!**


	7. Chapter 7

Agent Arc all but shoved the food down my throat after she dropped barrage after barrage of informational explosives on me.

And that's how I found myself here.  
Hugging the porcelain throne and praying for mercy.

Of course, my body would hear nothing of it.  
Instead of granting me the tiniest adjournment, it viciously rioted against common sense and punished me for even daring to nourish it with the food Esme had made for me.  
Destiny, the threat of war, and a ham sandwich proved to be a noxious mixture for my pathetically unsteady constitution as I hung my head over the toilet so that every single bite of food I'd eaten came back up to haunt me.

Another babbling wave rolled up my throat.

Puking violently, I tried not to focus on the chunky taste of the putridly rancid stink gurgling up my throat and spewing away from my mouth.  
"Isabella, may I get you anything? Perhaps a glass of ice water?"  
Arc's worried voice drifted through the crack under the shut door as I stared at the glossy white insides of the toilet bowl.  
I groaned in response, unable to form any words, with the sick still tainting my tongue.  
It had been a rough morning and an even rockier afternoon, but now as midday slid into early evening I wondered if I would make it to tomorrow in one piece.

Last week I was a "regular" teenager attending high school and living quietly in a sleepy suburban town and now I was Bella Swan: nuclear warhead.

Hindsight was a real mean bitch.

My brain felt saturated with everything I'd been through and my heart felt heavy with the revelation of the lies I'd been living this whole time.  
I wasn't different, but I felt like a totally changed person.  
And the change wasn't for the better.  
I thought back to when I'd made the decision to come to live with my brother with a deep and crippling longing to return to that time.  
In my mind's eye I could perfectly see myself in front of my computer, purchasing airline tickets, eager to get away from the security of my childhood home and the memories that clung to it's walls.  
Blissfully unaware of what was really waiting for me, I didn't make haste in leaving Rene defenseless and lonely.

My guts sunk a little further as I thought of it all with my face inches away from the murky toilet water.  
A few days ago, my only real problems were escaping the hurt of losing Charlie, managing my freaky mind meld powers, and rejected college applications.

Now, I had _much _bigger fish to fry.  
A new wave of queasiness overtook my senses as I thought about everything putrid and salty in my life.  
I bowed my head further into the once glimmeringly clean toilet bowl and gagged until I shook with the force of my effort.

It felt good to expel the food for some reason, like getting rid of it would make a difference or something.  
I knew it wouldn't, but the feeling of being full was just one more feeling I couldn't handle at this juncture.  
The hard tile dug into my knees angrily making my skin cry out for me to get off the floor, but I remained stooped because I couldn't rely on my own legs to keep me upright and I was damn tired of fainting.  
I had to remind myself that I was completely sick off being scared, tired of crying, and exhausted of being confused.  
The struggle inside my own body was enough to break me in half, but I refused to buckle any more.

I was done.

Done with being a weakling, finished with being a damsel in distress, and completely over taking the backseat in my life.

So, with the fragile fires of indignation and female righteousness sparking in the pit of my stomach, I clung onto the toilet bowl with both my twig arms and hoped that the world wouldn't swallow me whole before my courage mounted high enough to stand.  
Before I attempted to fight gravity, I thought about the baffling conversations with Arc.  
She had been right about the feeling I got when I was around her. Something forced me to believe her, like an invisible tether of trust that led me straight to her.

Though, the same could not be said about her partner.  
When Edward was around, everything else disappeared and when he decided to speak he was the only thing I could hear.  
It was more than his physical beauty that riveted my attention and it certainly wasn't his charming demeanor that fascinated me at a molecular level.  
His presence made me ill, desperately confused, and dizzily intoxicated all at once.

Even after Agent Arc had explained that I would basically be leading an army of zombie people into war to protect both sides, he was snide and condescending like my sheer presence on earth irritated him.  
Yet when I called for help, he was there.  
Even when I passed out like a Victorian lady at a strip club, he was there.

Every inch of my skin wanted to get away from him while at the same time every cell in my body screamed for me to get closer- as close as humanly possible.  
"Come out or I'm coming in."  
Edward's voice growled into my ear as though he were already in the bathroom with me.  
My eyebrows flattened while I weakly lifted my head to look back at the locked door.  
"I'll knock you on your ass again. It didn't take much the first time."  
I answered in a hoarse and tiny tone, but I meant the words I said with all my might.

Well, what was left of my _might_.

On the other side of the wooden door I could hear the noise of agitation that ripped away from his throat while Agent Arc tried calming him.  
I felt badly for her.  
It seemed she was in charge of a full grown vampire man child, albeit a gorgeously proportioned and flawlessly carved one.  
I mentally chided myself for speculating and harshly scolded myself for caring at all.  
My arms gripped the sides of the bowl as I tired to haul my body upwards, just noticing the ache in my knees radiating up my spine. A deep wince marred my face as I shakily stood up.

Even the balls of my feet were sore.

On unsteady legs I carefully scooted to the sink.  
With clammy hands I clung to the basin when I reached it and gazed at my reflection, it was a horrifying sight that stared back at me.  
My hair, which had broken free from my hair tie during my meltdown, hung limply and partially damp over my shoulders and the huge black bags under my murky brown eyes stood out frighteningly against the ashen color of the rest of my face.  
The material of my shirt swathed me in excess fabric, hiding my already meager curves and slumped over shoulders.

Everything about me was beaten down and exhausted.

_I look like shit.  
_My thoughts hummed nastily.

Reaching for the faucet, I cranked the cold water to life and ran my hand through the icy spray. The cool jets of water bathed up to my wrist as I shut my eyes and took several calming breaths.  
Though it was a pointless endeavor.  
Cupping my hands together under the roaring stream, I bowed my head while I splashed my face with water and I didn't stop splashing until I felt the heat at my cheeks subsiding.  
Feeling refreshed enough, I patted dry my dripping face before shutting off the stream.

Then, as quiet as a church mouse, I turned to my duffle bag which I'd left behind after my shower and pushed off the toilet lid when I'd rushed in to barf my brains out.  
Yanking out my toothbrush, cinnamon toothpaste, and a new hair tie I made quick work of walking back to the sink. I brushed my teeth, scrubbed nearly every taste bud off my tongue, and spat out the disgusting flavor of tooth polish and my own sick.  
Finally, I gathered my hair back up into a loose pony tail and spun around on my heel to face the locked bathroom door once more.

On the other side of it I could no longer hear Arc bickering with Edward, but I could see a pair of shoes shadowing the crack at the bottom.  
They were his shoes, I was sure of it.

The stylish black leather kicks, that didn't match his harsh personality at all, didn't budge an inch as I jostled the doorknob in warning.  
Molten tendrils of my unnatural energy stung my fingertips, threatening to melt the brass into a gleaming pool at his stupid feet.  
Grasping onto the doorknob a little tighter, and with a wildly prickling palm, I squared my shoulders and swung the door open.

There he was, as he always was, standing nonchalantly with his head full of luscious copper tinted hair bowed and his golden eyes staring down the rigid line of his strong nose.  
The flat slant of his crimson stained mouth was unfriendly, but I continued to openly gawk at him hoping that he would get the hint and move out of my way before I nuked him to the ground again.

Though, the way he hunched over toward me made the oxygen slither away from my body and my senses abandon ship, I tried not to focus on any of his obviously well honed distractions.  
The war of feeling and logic raged on inside me, while I slouched like a slug on a moldy forest log.  
"Are you alright?"  
He asked in a testy tone while those dazzling liquid amber colored eyes searched my entire body tactlessly. When he opened his mouth he was so abrasive that I instantly went on the defensive.  
"Do you really care?"  
I retorted, fighting the urge to slam the door in his face and live in the bathroom for the rest of my days.  
Edward squinted at me, his permanent scowl twisting his beautiful features cruelly, before he asked again.  
"More than you know. Are you okay?"  
He bit out the words sharply, his expression never changing and his voice growing more agitated with every syllable.

He reminded me of a broken teapot, simmering away on an open flame and moments away from a boiling hot explosion.  
Everything I knew about Edward burned my ass, even when he proclaimed to care about my wellbeing.  
Well, sort of.

A giant, unrestrainedly lofty scoff ripped away from my lips as I tired to push past him, but he was immovable.

His hands darted out to grab my arms as he dragged me close, nearly lifting my feet off the ground and pressing his fingertips so tightly into my flesh that I stopped breathing altogether while my ability froze in my veins.  
Even the sarcastic noise I'd made in sheer haughtiness, died in my throat as my guts melted like they were made out of wax.  
Only a few inches of merciful space flickered between our bodies, but that tiny sliver of atmosphere distracted me in a way that shouldn't have been possible.  
"Why are you so difficult?"  
He whispered down to me while I craned my neck to watch him with wide and unbelieving eyes.  
I wanted to bark laughter in his face, like he had laughed at me, but something in his tone broke my mean streak before it even had a chance.

It was just the slightest wavering of his words.  
Words that were spoken so close that I could feel his ice cold and sweetly smelling breath along my skin.

I was begrudgingly compelled to _really _look at him, past the menacing glower and underneath the polished exterior as he struggled to communicate. It struck me that Edward's people skills were nonexistent, that he really was a different species altogether.  
Regardless of the sympathetic thoughts creeping into my mind, I had trouble feeling truly sorry for him.  
My emotions see-sawed and my beliefs followed suit, but, and I couldn't deny this even if I wanted to, my body went absolutely haywire standing mere feet away from him.  
I could feel the energy pulsing through his fingertips sinking deeply into my bones in a way that made me actively struggle against the desire to shut my eyes and groan aloud.

Embarrassed by my own body and feeling like a cornered alley cat, I lashed out. It was immature, but I didn't care.

He was a bad person, I reminded myself of this little fact over and over again.  
"Why can't you act like a normal person?"  
I blurted out, knowing the answer to my question, but feeling satisfied at my jab anyway.  
When Edward was around fireworks went off in my ears, a million little sparks soared through my chest, and my skin caught fire like I was the living embodiment of the fourth of July.  
It was unfair that he remained unaffectedly cool and so unmoved.

So, it was no surprise to my already questionable moral standing that all I wanted was to hit him where it hurt.  
Mostly because he made me feel so completely vulnerable and slightly because I was furious at myself for allowing him to get under my skin like he had.  
Judging by the way his handsome expression fell, I'd accomplished my goal in spades. I watched in sickened fascination as his features crumpled and soured.

My heart quivered strangely in my chest while the small victory over his malicious attitude surged through me. Though I couldn't escape that I felt distinctly shitty about it, I shrugged the remorse away recalling the last time I experienced anything other than hate for him.  
Still, his disheartened expression made my mind swim and my soul stutter.  
Edward's shoulders dropped as he attempted to take a step backwards, but instead of taking the opening to leave I did something that surprised the air straight out of my lungs. My hands darted out to grab onto his black shirt like they had minds of their own.

I watched it all happen in slow motion with straining eyes.  
Against the screaming in my head and the pounding of my pulse, my feet moved me even closer to him.  
It was a force too magnetic to fight off, one I wasn't strong enough to battle on my own and Edward showed absolutely no signs of resistance.

The paltry splinter of space between our bodies vanished as though it had never existed.

Snapping currents of white hot energy floated away from his cold hard as stone flesh.  
Even the air particles swirling around us buzzed while the steady grip of his power caressed me like a long lost lover.  
Knowingly and intimate, his gift reached out to encircle me as I actively fought against the urge to close my eyes so that I could savor it's resurgence.  
The waves of him tickled my exposed skin and slithered up my shirt to wrap around my bare stomach in way that made my mouth run dry.  
In an instant of pure mindless abandon, I sighed aloud and curled my hands further into his shirt.

Edward's arms wrapped around me while his expression morphed into one of sheer astonishment, his gleaming gold eyes were wide as saucers and the pucker between his brows was as deep as it could possibly be.  
It seemed he was just as taken aback by the position we found ourselves in, but he didn't move and neither did I.  
After a few moments of tense and confused silence he spoke only a few inches away from my face.  
"I'm sorry."  
He murmured while splaying his static filled hands against my back firmly.  
My eardrums prickled at the sound as my brain worked overtime to try and clear the milky fog settling over my thoughts.

It was impossible to escape him.  
Not that I was trying, at all.

I took a deep shuddering lungful of his scent as my fingers twisted into the material of his t-shirt while he tucked me into the crook of his hips so intimately that I felt myself blushing and trembling, despite my previously brave display. I wanted, with every ounce of power I possessed, to break away from him and yell at the top of my lungs for Arc to help me, but I did nothing.  
It seemed in Edward's presence common sense simply didn't exist within me.  
Not speaking, and without moving another muscle, I gazed deeply into his burning molten eyes unsure of why I needed to be this close and even more confused as to why he allowed it.  
"For everything."  
He added in a husky tone before bending his head to my temple while my heart lodged itself up my throat.  
I could feel his icy lips against my ear as his breath skated down my neck and across my clavicles, but I didn't groan out loud like I wanted to.

Against my back, his hands tightened and, shamefully, I didn't once try to fight him off.

Instead, I shivered into him like a fragile and foolish leaf blowing along the whipping winds of a tornado.

His embrace was all consuming, making the world around me only exist because I remembered it.  
Even if in a very foggy and distant memory of what occurred prior to being in his arms, I still remembered my existence.  
I could've attributed my willingness to be in his steely grip to my hormone riddled eighteen year old body or the emotional roller coaster I'd been trapped on for the past twenty-four hours, but I was tired of lying to myself.  
Every fiber in my being wanted Edward in a way that I'd never known before. It was shameful how I trembled against him.  
The feelings disgusted me and enthralled me, making no sense at all and all the sense in the world.

I was a bundle of nerves, raw and flaring as the electric atmosphere prodded me ruthlessly.  
Nothing had ever felt so horribly right.

Finally my resolve to not make a sound broke as a tiny gasp erupted from my mouth the moment he brushed his nose past my hair line and faintly dragged his lips over my forehead.  
I needed to resurface and I needed to do it fast, but for the life of me I couldn't gather the strength to break away from the undulating emotions dragging me further and further from the shores of sanity.  
I was a drowning person, flailing and kicking for my life.  
"You should have just let me leave the diner."  
I said to him so that I could distract myself from the suffocating pleasure and shame slamming into my body relentlessly.  
Edward's chest rattled as he chortled, not a happy sound at all, a noise that was simply made out of desperation.

Within me, the warring continued while I waited for him to respond.

I was torn between burying my face into his neck and leveling him to the ground again.

The power coursing through my veins buzzed a little more insistently when he was around and, in my mind, that could only mean one thing.  
Deep down, I knew there was danger and his name was Edward.  
"I couldn't."  
Danger said in a tortured voice while we both stood there.  
His arms were wrapped tightly around me, as though he'd held me this way a thousand times, while my electricity laden hands nearly singed holes through his shirt.  
"I've let you go everyday since I first saw you and I couldn't do it anymore."  
Edward's lips ghosted over my forehead again, this time he kissed my skin tenderly so that there was no mistaking the movement.  
"I can't do it anymore."  
He whispered, pain stricken and gloomy.

The currents of my unnatural energy floated away from my overheated flesh, causing a curtain of shimmering air that blanketed the both of us, while I scrambled to lap up his words like they were the receding waves of Tartarus.  
But just like poor parched Tantalus those waves escaped me, leaving me eternally thirsty for the meaning behind Edward's torturous words.

I wondered if I would every be satisfied- if I would ever get my fill of the truth or of him.

Very slowly, so very slowly, I looked back up at him with giant and searching eyes unsure of what he was saying and even more intrepidly unsure of my own feelings towards him.  
Even the weight of my eyelashes swooshing through the charged air was almost too much for my lids to handle as I gazed into his endless golden stare.

He was so beautiful- so utterly striking that I found it hard to believe my own ears, difficult to trust my own body, and even more tiresome to resist the building urge to kiss him.  
My starved eyes flashed to his pomegranate juice stained mouth as my brain desperately tried to recall the image of myself strapped to his bed.  
This morning seemed like a million years ago.  
Too far in the past to remember.

I curled my fists into his shirt so that I wouldn't slide to the floor as the emotions careening through my body mixed with all the information I'd learned, about him, about my life, and about Charlie, made it nearly impossible to endure my own twisted desires.  
With a massive effort and a focused mind, I tilted my face upwards.  
It might've been an invitation for more, but the movement was as much a defiance of Edward's heady compulsion as anything.

He needed to know he was the reason for the civil war erupting inside me and even though I craved my freedom, I fought feebly for it.  
I kept waiting to break, but I hadn't yet.

Edward sighed, roughly and loudly, breaking me away from my frenzy of thoughts.  
"You've always been hard to read."  
He crowed down to me as his glorious features melted into the most magnificently grief-stricken expression I'd ever seen.  
It seemed even the thick fringe of his dark lashes were downcast with sadness. A dark and primal unhappiness that I recognized, but couldn't totally comprehend.  
Every mismatched thought, every single insignificant pondering that I'd ever thought about Edward leaked out of my brain like molasses. The sight nearly knocked my feet from under me, it almost decimated me right where I stood, as I looked up at him with aching eyes.

Suddenly there was a part of me, a huge unavoidable piece of me, that couldn't ignore the pull I felt towards Edward.

No matter the syringe stabbing, the love of crappy bondage, and the snide comment hurling he was capable of.  
I was powerless to fight off my sympathy for him and helpless against the magnetic physical attraction I felt towards him.  
In this moment, he looked truly remorseful for everything he'd done and maybe even the things he had yet to do.  
I felt myself cracking, shamefully caving in, and I did nothing to stop the freefall.  
My pale hands rose on their own accord, first to gently touch his flawless cheek and then to coil my twitching fingers into the back of his hair.  
The clear golden gleam of his eyes entranced me almost to the point where I could hardly feel our bodies pressed tightly together.

He was the charmer and I the snake.  
The dancing electricity tinkled down my spine and swirled around my hips while he hypnotized me into a hazy stupor.

His wet khesab date stained lips parted and his eyelids half mooned as my stinging hands yanked his thick tresses for leverage.  
My traitor knees trembled. I could feel my lungs straining and my bloodied heart hammering away with unholy need, but I didn't care, I simply allowed myself to burn against the cool solidness of his body.  
For the first time ever, I felt my whole universe tilting and emptying.  
Leaving only Edward, his embrace, and my brainless- spineless body.

"Edward, we need to leave now. They know we're here."  
Arc's voice pebbled across the black abyss of emotions swallowing me whole.  
Like a scrape from a jagged seabed her words tore into my thoughts, making reality hemorrhage through for the first time since I'd opened the bathroom door.  
Suddenly, the Edward induced cloudiness evaporated and everything around us rained down on my senses.  
Here I was, draped in the arms of a man that I couldn't stand like a cheap version of Scarlett O'Hara, while the craziness of my new existence held a loony jamboree just outside the bathroom.

I could see Agent Arc, with her elegantly slender hands on her shapely southern comfort hips and a small tense smile stretching her confederate red pout.

Instantly, my charged fingers untangled themselves from his hair while my spine wiggled to break away from the encirclement of his silk wrapped steel rod arms.  
He didn't budge an inch, not that I really thought he would.  
Fighting Edward seemed to be completely useless as he only acknowledged me by tightening his unyielding grip around my body.  
It felt as though he was about to crush my ribs like they were nothing more than brittle little twigs.  
Edward had no intention of setting me free.

Not now, not ever.  
"I'm afraid we cannot delay any longer. Headquarters just contacted me about a security breech in the area, we can't risk the bridge being exposed while we're here."  
Arc said in a quietly resigned tone. The way her eyes flickered worriedly over the two of us made me intensely uncomfortable.  
An expectant and wounded type of expression hung onto her beautiful features.

It definitely wasn't a look of someone who could morph into a twisted demon version of herself.

She reminded me of Caravaggio's St. Ursula, with a Hun's scornful arrow harpooned through her virginal body and heaven's light bathing her saintly creamy flesh.  
She defied beauty in it's conventional sense, radiating ethereally like it was totally effortless to be so striking.  
But behind the commanding sparkle of her glowing yellow eyes there was a tinge of wildness, a frenetic pattern of anxiety, and a thin veil of delicately fragile composure.  
My eyebrows furrowed deeply as I quickly inspected her.

Something really wasn't right.

With two flattened palms I pushed lightly against Edward's chest in an effort to break away from him, but my struggle was cut short when Arc's demeanor sunk in fully.  
Her words dawned on me, making my blood run positively icy.  
"_All _of us? All of us need to leave now?"  
I questioned a little breathlessly as my mind raced with what she'd said prior to my bathroom escapades.

Surely, I would at least get to say goodbye to Jacob before they took me back to their world for War 101.  
But I knew the answer to my own question based on the determined set of her shoulders and the sad reflection of her evening sunset eyes.  
Not giving Arc an opening to answer aloud, I continued on while the beginnings of a panic attack brewed within me.  
"I need more time, I need to warn Jacob, I-".  
My mouth rattled, but the words falling from my lips abruptly ended when Edward's arms finally released me.

As he let go of me, I stumbled backwards feeling the ground underneath me as unsteady as quicksand while my sides ached horribly from being in his stony embrace for so long. Struggling to remain upright by gulping down copious amount of air, I winced as my lungs fully expanded for deep breaths.  
Unfortunately the oxygen swirling around my cranium was tainted with his fragrance, and as his smell slithered down my throat, I wondered if it would be better for my wellbeing to just stop inhaling altogether.  
"I'm sorry, but that's not possible any longer, Isabella. If we don't move before the extraction team finds you, then all will be lost."  
Arc's accent lilted words stabbed me in the chest and sliced my mind up in little morbid pieces making me quickly forget trivial little problems such as _breathing_.  
"I can't just leave yet."  
I blubbered uselessly.  
"Rene and Jacob will worry, I can't do that to them."  
I felt like a sinking ship caught in the turbulently black waves of an angry ocean, with no hope of rescue or divine intervention.  
Icy coldness drowned me and horrible shadowy currents split my body in half under the crushing weight of being totally helpless.

I don't know why, but I looked to Edward hoping that he would come to my aid as he always appeared to do.

Inwardly I wished he would say something- that he would say _anything _to convince her that the right thing was to let me at least say goodbye to my own family.  
With straining and watery eyes, I silently pled with him to see things my way.  
But he remained totally mute. I couldn't leave Rene and Jacob wondering what horrible fate befell me, I wouldn't do that to them no matter what Charlie's journal or the two vampires in my apartment said.  
Arc and Edward, I noted very much to myself, never once spoke about returning to this world.

This little bit of information, or lack thereof, made it almost crystal clear that the fight would come to me. Wherever I was it seemed war, whatever that really meant, would follow me.

Leaving my family defenseless _and _wondering about my whereabouts was simply out of the question.  
There would need to be some flexibility, I was certain that they would understand this most basic of elemental balances.  
They couldn't tip me so far off the brink without me snapping, they _had _to know this, and right now I felt pretty near complete collapse.  
The building pressure within me swelled while the left side of my face tingled with fiery misgivings as I struggled to remain in one coherent piece.

Edward, still standing a little too closely, whispered down to me in a tormented tone while my thoughts raged onwards and my entire body shimmered with pent up power.  
"It's for their safety. The less they know, the better their chances are. The extraction regiment is looking for you, not them. "  
His expression, a far cry from his entitled scowl, was so beaten down and so utterly broken that I found myself wanting to rush back into his arms.  
I could feel the turmoil radiating from his perfect flesh, but I didn't close the space between us because I kept the memory of his syringe stabbing ways fresh in my mind.  
I was wary of him, no matter that my body craved to be near his.  
"I don't understand. Extraction regiment?"  
My chapped lips formed words that sounded far away to my own ears, even though I meant them wholeheartedly.

I really didn't understand my reality, my feelings for Edward , or why the way he said _chances _sent an ice cold shiver up my spine.  
Of course, I knew what words like _war _and _medical experimentations _meant, but I couldn't actually visualize them as events or probable possibilities for me.

Vaguely I wondered if I would faint or vomit again, seeing as I wouldn't get a respite from the soul rocking shocks hitting me from every angle.  
"Yes, these are humans with very honed skill sets who work as mercenaries. Mainly hunting our kind and tracking supernatural events, but their sole task has been to find you and bring you back in."  
She paused dramatically before continuing on.  
"They're really an eradication gang and they won't hesitate to kill anyone who stands in their way. Rene was relocated late last night to a new bridge for her safety, but we still need to move Jacob. We must do it quickly so that he remains protected. Unfortunately, your presence puts them in grave danger right now. I thought we would have more time, but we don't. With every one of your episodes you release a distinct signature as personal as a fingerprint which can be measured like seismic waves. It's only a matter of time before they find the epicenter, you."  
Agent Arc spoke over Edward's shoulder as she explained herself with new urgency.

Edward shifted as he uneasily leaned against the doorframe, this time the movement wasn't one of cockiness, but rather one born out of sheer necessity to remain standing upright.  
For an insane moment, I related to him.  
"Tell her the rest."  
He croaked, jamming his hands into his pockets and looking away from me down to his leather shoes.  
The moment of my silent sympathy for him shattered into a million pieces.  
My eyes flashed back up to Arc just in time for me to catch the uncomfortable look drifting across her faultlessly gorgeous face.  
"There's more?"  
I prompted, feeling very anxious and slightly more volatile than I would've liked to admit.  
Wringing my charged hands together, I swayed on the balls of my bare feet and waited for the ominous _rest_.

"Well…"  
She began timidly.  
"We don't know how you'll react to being on our side, like I said you require a certain type of energy. Our world may not have enough of it to sustain you, but we can't risk keeping you here."  
Her bell like voice twinkled out a harmoniously horrible tune while I listened morbidly attentive.  
"You're the only one of your kind, it's difficult to know how or even if you will be able to adapt for long enough."  
Arc's words crashed over me.  
I couldn't believe after everything I'd discovered today- after being abducted, after learning that I was an alien orphan who'd escaped from a government facility- the icing on the cake was the possibility that just traveling to where I needed to be to protect the people I loved might very well kill me.

And the thugs out to slaughter anyone in close proximity to me, yeah they could totally find me by following my tantrums.

It was a bitter mouthful to swallow, my jagged little life.

A huge part of me wanted to just walk away from everything, but escape seemed utterly futile when the two of them seemed to engulf the entire space we all occupied.  
Instead of running away, I rocked on my heels and asked more stupid questions that I knew would only lead to yet another string of bizarre explanations.  
"Because everyone's dead over there?"  
I mumbled out loud.  
She nodded solemnly before speaking once more.  
"Yes and because for as many supporters of your cause there are those who are against it. Our only duty is to keep you safe, but you should know what waits for you on the other side. It won't be an easy road."  
Agent Arc didn't mince her words as she explained that no matter where I went, someone was going to hunt me down and on their side I might not be strong enough to fight back.  
"I have a cause?"  
My voice sounded distant and feeble. I cleared my throat in an effort to be braver, but even the rattling in my throat was high pitched and crackled.  
"When a savior is born, so is the cause."  
She simply said, like I was supposed to know exactly what she meant.

The truth was, I really fucking didn't.

My pulse rocketed, my throat constricted, and my blood pressure spiked in a choreographed reproduction of Stomp that solely used my poor body instead of garbage can lids or dusty old brooms.  
When the quietness stretched between the three of us once more, Arc mercifully offered more information, but I could tell her patience was being worn thin.  
Her ruby red lips, perfectly pursed and plump, formed her mildly exotic sounding words as she spoke in a rushed tone.  
"The presence of someone great is foretold in every time, every culture, and every society. Why is it so hard to believe this could be you?"  
She prodded.

All I could do was shrug my shoulders.  
I didn't have any idea how to answer her question and I doubted very seriously that if I did have a proper retort, I'd be able to voice it.  
Arc pulled her cell phone from her pocket to quickly look at the screen before she deposited it back where it came from.  
"The parents you were born to were great warriors, Isabella. As humans evolved from the swamps to crawl out onto dry land, as the mortals slaved over pyramids and great temples- our kind, because of the parents you were stolen from, witnessed it instead of destroyed it. Many centuries before your birth and up until the night you were taken, they ruled the supernatural tribes with the principles of sustaining life on earth by ways of peace not war."  
Agent Arc's youthful face conflicted with the incredible words she spoke, but she continued on anyway as I stood stunned and nearly sparkling with anxious power.  
"Now, that's all changed. It's been eighteen years of darkness for most of our world. Your reappearance means unity for those who've strayed, but more importantly you coming back home ensures the protection of both worlds from those rebels who don't care about life on either side. "

A giant lump lodged into my throat as I struggled to form words.  
"But why now? Why would they take Charlie now?"  
I wasn't puking or fainting simply because of my sheer strength of will.  
Pebbles of sweat beaded down my neck and traveled under the collar of my raggedy wine colored high school shirt as I struggled to maintain a semblance of normality while the un-dead creatures in front of me blocked my exit.  
"I don't know, maybe someone in his circle was an informant. Maybe the powers that be were waiting for you to fully mature. All I know is the threat the humans pose to us has become too great to avoid and the rebels on our side are gaining popularity. Their radical movement against the mortals would be a death sentence for everyone, but neither of them, human or extremist supernatural group, have you. Right now you're the greatest asset anyone could possess."  
Arc's voice was growing more desperate by the minute as she explained her eerie doom theorem.

I noted that she didn't answer exactly how I, Isabella Swan of semi-sound mind, was exactly going to rescue worlds and societies and whatever else needed saving.  
Though the glowing golden truth of her eyes made me believe she wasn't omitting out of malice and that little observation frightened me more than what she actually said or didn't say.  
A ripple of uneasiness rocketed down my spine as a sparking cyclone of energy whipped around in my gut.

I opted to ask again, this time as directly as I could.  
"So, how am I supposed to save everyone? What am I even supposed to do?"  
I croaked while Arc's long pale fingers flickered along the hem of her black blazer.  
Her lashes fluttered as she answered.  
"I don't know those answers, I'm sorry."  
She softly admitted, her perfectly arched smoked caramel eyebrows furrowing anxiously while the air between us thickened and drooped. Arc's shoulders slightly hitched against the atmosphere, the movement was barely visible, but it sent off alarm bells in my mind.  
Edward, at the corner of my vision, also seemed increasingly agitated. Shifting from side to side, scouring his eyes around the bathroom, and craning his neck down the hallway.

As the heavy seconds trudged by he became more and more tense.  
Something, besides the obvious fact that I stood in my bathroom with two old as shit vampires, didn't seem right.  
I tried not to stutter or sound like I was stalling as I focused on waiting them out until Jacob came home.  
It seemed like it had been hours since he went off to work this morning.

Surely he would be coming back soon.

Surely.

"Well, I need to know my family is safe, before I go anywhere with you."  
I spoke, just above a whisper, but I knew they both could hear me perfectly by the way twin reactions flashed across their beautiful faces.  
Neither said a word though.  
Silence stretched through the air, leaving me ill at ease and rapidly glancing between the two of their otherworldly bodies.  
The tension was not reserved for just Edward, Arc appeared more strained than I'd ever seen her and it was obvious she was struggling to retain her composure by the compulsive way she petted down her already perfectly straight clothing.  
"Can you promise that?"  
I choked out, scattering the muteness with my feeble little voice.

Arc refused to look at me and Edward seemed to be fascinated by the floor under his feet while I stood completely vulnerable and begging for them to keep the only family I had left safe from harm.  
"You can't, can you?"  
I deadpanned feeling the hope inside me die out a little at their refusal to answer my fairly straightforward question.  
Agent Arc once again smoothed down the already perfectly pressed fabric of her blazer before finally breaking the tense static filled quietness.  
She took a deep breath, one I'm sure her body didn't really need, and then began speaking in a measured tone.  
"No,-"  
She confirmed resolutely as her screen siren features morphed into a sadly distant expression while she continued on after a beat of quietness.  
"-but that doesn't mean we won't do everything we can. We owe a great debt to them for helping to keep you safe all this time."

While bringing her slender hands to the front of her body and intertwining her fingers she spoke again.  
"I believe things will be clearer for you very soon, sweet child."  
Arc's voice drifted over the chaos raging in my own mind.  
"Traveling between realms is a very difficult business, even for our kind. Please dress warmly and bring nothing from this side."  
She exhaled roughly, again probably an action she didn't actually needed to do, before she looked down the hallway and then addressed me one last time.  
Her sparkling golden eyes shone with sincerity and heartbreak as she continued briskly.  
"I mean it, you can't take anything other than what you wear. Leave your phone, your wallet, leave it all behind. We can't leave any tethers from this world to ours."

With that she backed out of the hallway, leaving me alone once more with a remorseful looking Edward and way too many questions still remaining in my brain.

He looked anywhere other than directly at me.

There was a definite shift in the air between us and I didn't know why or exactly when that change happened.  
He was hostile, that remained tried and true, but instead of his anger being directed at me it was now seemingly eating him alive where he stood.  
I still didn't trust him fully, but I no longer wanted to maim him with electricity.  
"Bella, I will keep you safe- always."  
His voice was gravely and his brows furrowed as he continued to avoid my stare.  
"What about Rene and Jacob? They're important, Edward. They're all I have."  
I pleaded, not really knowing how else to express my deepest desire to keep them both out of the circus to which I found myself in the center ring of.  
They were my family, the only family I had left, regardless of the lie I lived for so long.

I just couldn't leave them defenseless, I wouldn't do that to them.

If departing from this world for the supernatural one meant that I couldn't be certain of their safety, then I wouldn't go willingly.  
My chin rose in the air as the determination to fight for them, in whichever way I could, took over.  
Edward lifted his head and looked me in the eye for the first time in longer than I wanted to admit felt comfortable before he began speaking.  
"I won't let anything happen to them, I swear it."  
His voice was sure and steady, just like his golden stare.

My eardrums pinged loudly as the foreign feeling of trusting Edward and what he said, pulsed through my whole body. I felt the surge of warmth filling my belly while I listened to his promise and, bizarre as it was, believed him with my entire soul.  
Edward wasn't being snide and he wasn't prowling around with his superiority looming like black clouds.  
In fact, he was being different from what I expected.

I couldn't help feeling mildly suspicious.  
The visible change in him was incredibly disturbing, but I didn't question it aloud fearing that at any moment he might regress or I might once again flip flop about how I _really _felt about him.  
I let his statement pass, without question, tucking it away in my mind for analysis a little later.  
"Dress yourself in warm clothing, we need to leave now."  
He stated curtly before backing out of the bathroom and ghosting into the hallway without another word spoken.

I watched the severe set of his broadly hunched shoulders vanish around the corner before I felt steady enough to release a gigantic breath.

Again, battered and alone, I stood silently twisting my hands and gulping down the Edward-less atmosphere.  
There were at least six billion things running through my mind, but the most prevalent- the most absolutely important one of all was the word _now_.  
"_Now" _meant I wouldn't get to tell Rene or Jake I was ok and that little fact dug a giant hole in my chest, no matter what Edward promised.  
"_Now" _was the antithesis of everything my heart screamed at me to do.  
With frantic eyes, I looked around the bathroom for anything that I could use to scribble a message on while my feet scurried to my duffle bag in a rush.

Urgency coursed through my body, making my hands shake and my cheeks burn.

That's when I remembered it.

I recklessly dug through clothing, batted away bathroom toiletries, and flung out mismatched socks in search of the one memento I couldn't bring myself to part with.  
When I'd been disposing of most of my things back home, this little trinket remained safe.  
Within a few seconds I found it.  
The small bracelet was tattered and old, but it still made me smile through the desperate fog of unshed tears suddenly welling in my eyes.  
I swallowed their saltiness back, unwilling to shed a single drop of sadness.  
Jacob had given the little bracelet to me so long ago that I couldn't exactly remember why it was so dear to me, other than the fact that he'd made it himself.  
It was once vibrant colored with yarn strings that intertwined with a single leather strap which was only slightly thicker than the rest of the cords.

All the pieces roped together delicately and artfully.  
I'd taken it off to put it in my luggage days ago and as I looked at it, sadly forgotten and crumpled below my clothes, I felt tremendously glad that I hadn't had the heart to get rid of it.  
There was no telling if it would've survived my encounter of the Edward kind last night _or _this morning's unfortunate bondage experience, but here it was untouched and resilient nonetheless.  
Gathering the campy little bracelet in my trembling hands I quickly ambled over to the shower.  
Very quietly, I ducked under the blue shower curtain and tied it to the shower head's neck so that Jacob would see it if he looked up.

Hopefully he'd understand that I'd purposefully put it there.

Something told me he would.  
He had to.

As I finished knotting it securely along the pipe, I thought about Edward and the beguilingly beautiful Agent Arc.  
Leaning back, I eyed my handiwork, before finally moving towards my bag with a sick feeling curling in my gut.  
Arc's explanations nagged at me as I began rummaging through my stuff, looking for something to wear and thinking about everything still left unanswered.  
Aside from the war speeches, baby Jesus prophesies, and intermittent blood drinking- she'd said things like _duty _and _warring nobility_.  
I vaguely wondered if the world I was about to be transported to would also have candy houses or Pegasus flocks, but just as quickly as I thought them I dispelled those notions.  
Anything more than what I already knew would surely break my tolerance scale and send me on a downward spiral straight into the depths of oblivion.  
Yanking out a pair of jeans, a long sleeved black cotton shirt, and a dark navy jacket my brain tried to work out a picture of what this other world would be like, but I couldn't conjure anything past my Grimm prejudice.

Life hadn't prepared me for finding out my father was Dr. Frankenstein or that I would be the Queen of Sheba to a world of goblins and ghouls.  
All I wanted, all I ever wanted, was to be invisible.

In a zombie-fied and mournful state, I retrieved a mismatched set of underwear and an old worn bra before dressing myself.  
Gnawing at my lip, I worked the buttons of my jeans but left the zipper of my jacket undone and hanging open.  
I rearranged my hair, gathering the too long shaggy brown ringlets back into another sloppy long hanging pony tail and brushing back my grown out bangs.  
Once I was finished fiddling with my appearance, I tucked away what I'd been wearing and turned back to the bathroom mirror with my mind scattered in a thousand different directions.

As I looked at myself, all mousy haired and doe eyed, I thought about my mom and my brother.  
I thought about Charlie, his journal of horrors, and the supernatural parents I'd never known.  
But most of all I thought about the two vampires in my living room, waiting for me eagerly to take me to their mystery universe.  
My eyes flashed to the shower where my secret message for Jake dangled along the exposed piping as worry twisted my brow and churned my insides. I wondered if they would anticipate me trying to alert him.

I was willing to bet they were.

Without any more hesitation, I opened the medicine cabinet.  
There wasn't much on the shelves, just some floss, a multivitamin bottle, and a dainty tube of dental anesthetic.

I zeroed in on the tiny white cylinder, though it was capped I could tell it's spout was pointed, and sent a tiny thanks up to whoever was responsible for such a serendipitous outcome.  
Grabbing the travel sized tube, I flicked on the faucet for a little white noise, and scrawled a small message on the clean surface of the bottom shelf. I squirted the green gel lightly out, the smell stung my nostrils and made my eyes water, but I worked quickly and ignored the minor discomfort.

_I'm ok. _

It read in sloppy looped letters with a crooked line underneath.

_Simple enough.  
_I thought to myself, as I recapped the little tube and gently tucked it in front of my message, careful not to smudge the words. They would find this one and my bracelet would be safe.  
At least that's what I hoped as I shut off the spewing faucet and turned away from the mirror while taking a giant breath.

Somehow I still smelled Edward- I could taste him on my tongue and feel his touch along my skin.  
It was a disconcerting feeling that I shook away physically.  
Shrugging my shoulders and violently shaking out my energy riddled hands, I took another couple of breaths, ignoring his fragrance, before reaching into my duffle for a rolled up pair of clean socks.  
Grasping the little black ball with one hand, I reached for the doorknob with the other and quietly opened it.

This time, no one waited for me on the other side.  
My guts twisted strangely, but I ignored the feeling.

Silently and barefoot, I treaded softly through the hallway back to my bedroom.  
My toes curled against the cool floor as I slowly pulled open my door just wide enough for my body to slip through and then I cautiously shut it against my back.  
I snapped my eyes closed once I was safely inside my bedroom while the trembling fear and excitement made my lower stomach twitch like the butterflies trapped within were trying to eat their way out.  
A shuddering breath escaped my lips, sobbing up unto the air and echoing through the space as the weight of my combined lives crushed me.  
There was my old life, my new one, and the one I wished I could've had.

All pressing me closer and closer to the jagged knife's blade edge of sanity that I already teetered on the brink of.

Suddenly and sharply, I was ripped away from my thoughts as my eardrums pricked. A noise I knew my still as stone body didn't create caught my attention.  
It was just the slightest of sounds, a ruffling of my bed sheets, that made my eyelashes burst open so that I could look around wildly while my hands released my socks.  
They hit the floor with a muted and tiny thud.  
Edward sat at the edge of my bed, gazing at me with those heavenly summer sunshine eyes and his strawberry juice stained pout dripping down into a syrupy frown. I should've known he would be there, invading my space and gloriously creeping around like he belonged in my room and I didn't.

I should've known the man who drugged me and tied me to his bed wouldn't have any regard for the privacy of my personal space.  
I just should've known and simply expected him.

His hair, in constant stylish disarray, glimmered with undertones of copper and shimmering auburn as my mutineer fingers twitched on their own accord with a barely disguised desire to seize those softly glittering locks.  
A lightening hot whiplash of energy sliced up my spine before branching out to my palms in a last ditch effort for protection against whatever he had in store for me this time.  
We were either going to start a yelling match again or end up somehow inexplicably wrapped around one another like people versions of Lincoln Logs.  
Those, it seemed, were the only possible outcomes when I dealt with Edward and his hair.

I wanted to yell at him to get the hell out of my bedroom or force the building power within me in his direction to zap him out, but I did neither.  
It was becoming more the rule rather than the exception, that when Edward was around I did things I absolutely hated myself for.  
Instead of sending him away, as I should've, my feet carried me towards him like he was the finish line and I the exhausted yet determined runner.  
My lungs expanded while my mind screamed for me to stop- to please, please fucking stop while I still could, but my body refused to listen.

Edward didn't seemed surprised at all as I neared him and grabbed a hold of his shoulders with my shaking electric hands. He looked up at me from where he sat with the reflected image of what I was feeling mirroring across his handsomely chiseled features.  
Confusion, need, and desperate sadness were all there was between us.

I didn't like being this close to him, but my body sure did.  
Nothing could compare to the feeling of losing command of ones own figure and extremities.  
Being near him was like playing hopscotch in a landmine valley, both soul thrilling and morally sickening.  
The converging emotions lolled in the air, making it difficult to breath without hyperventilating like someone who'd just had a limb blown off.  
Of course, being blasted to pieces didn't matter at all to me. Not when I knew what I did about the life I once had and certainly not when I knew nothing of my new one.

No, things like a playground crush on the mean boy paled in comparison to all that.

I straddled his lap mindlessly, and slightly angry at everything in the world including his presence in it, while the feelings exploded in my ears and shredded my limbs.  
Edward's hands instantly flew to my back, cutting into my flesh like bittersweet shrapnel while I gasped.  
He tightly gripped me, feverishly hanging on without breaking our connected gaze as everything else melted away with a sizzle.  
I had never felt anything like his rock hard body beneath me.  
I'd never before seen such a glorious sight as his creamy neck stretched and exposed to me.  
And I'd certainly never witnessed anything like his golden hellfire eyes burning up my soul as though it were made out of tissue paper.

It was feeling music or smelling a color- raw and primal with no space for things like self worth or common sense to muddle up our current state of being.

The ragged roughness of his breath mingled with the drumming of my frantic heart made it impossible to hear, but as he began running his hands hungrily up and down my spine it didn't matter if all my senses dissolved in the lava wave of his molten presence.  
I didn't need my senses anymore, I determined weakly, not when he touched me the way he did.  
"Bella."  
He mumbled hotly while bringing me flush against his rigid body.  
I didn't need my worries any longer, I confirmed inwardly, not when he said my name like _that_.

Every thought in my mind emptied like a toilet bowl.  
"Bella."  
Edward's voice splashed against my eardrums, sending violent tingles up my neck.  
A strangled gasp tore away from my lips at the emotions bubbling up within me as my hot tipped fingers tried to tear their way through the cool fabric of his black shirt.  
It was a wonder that I hadn't already.  
There was energy shivering across every inch of my flesh and power surging throughout the muscles stringing my pathetic bones together, making it impossible to remain anchored to reality.

Whatever reality was actually the right one was still up for grabs but, as Edward clutched me desperately, it didn't matter in the slightest.  
I even left my mouth hanging open when his lips began brushing along the length of my exposed neck, unable to do anything else other than offer him my complete submission.  
He was merciless in his attack, this time making it achingly obvious that he was kissing me- that _he _was in command and I could do nothing about it, because my own body would betray me if I tried.  
Treacherously, my head tipped backwards to give him more flesh to devour as my heart shuddered and my skin pebbled.

Edward's cologne, whatever he wore, tickled my nostrils. It was dark forest- it was a shadowy night fragrance, the type that made it difficult not to groan out in sheer unadulterated satisfaction.  
I snapped my lips together in an effort to control the animal noises that threatened to mewl away from my mouth.  
He ran his nose along my skin, smelling me and huskily humming to himself while my hands scrambled into his thick tousled mane.  
I yanked at his satin soft hair, trying to fight the urge to push him backwards and dually summoning the courage to climb away from his praying mantis embrace.

Thankfully, it wasn't I who had to make the decision as a soft knock at my bedroom door ripped us both out of our silent rapture. He tore his mouth away from the boiling hot skin of my neck while both our heads whipped to the door wildly.  
My cheeks were on fire and my head was swimming as I gulped down oxygen like a dying person.  
"Edward, I'm going ahead of you. Please don't delay any further H.Q. has spotted a squadron twenty miles away and approaching fast."  
Agent Arc's dulcet and crystal clear voice drifted up from the crack at the bottom of the door as Edward's arms encircled me a little tighter while I tried to get as much air into my lungs as I could without hyperventilating.

Hugging seemed to be his thing, I mused for a sick split second, when he wasn't tying people to beds or drinking down vials of blood.

Instantly, I needed to get away from him.  
For my own sanity, I had to stop the madness between us.  
Like a drowning person breaking the surface, I gasped for air and fought to free myself from the jaws of certain death. Feeling the stabbing shame and boiling hot regret quickly seeping into my bones, I tried to focus on steadying my breathing and calming my heart rate while I thought of all my recent shortcomings.  
I'd let him haul me around like a sack of potatoes this morning, I'd allowed him to get under my skin every time he spoke, and, for the cherry on top, I gladly rewarded his bad behavior with heavy petting.

I felt sick with myself.

My hand flopped away from his lusciously silky tresses before I pushed against his muscled shoulders so that he would release me.  
And he did, which relieved me and agitated me in a way that I really couldn't understand.

A bad taste rolled around in my mouth. I swallowed it down with a giant gulp as I looked at him with a little more distance between us.  
His expression was bleakly resigned, slightly hostile, and grippingly exhausted. My heart throbbed as I took a few wobbly steps backwards for just a little more space.  
Edward watched my every movement while I widened the gap between our super charged bodies.  
I was hopelessly unsure of why I kept allowing myself to end up in his arms, but I was positive it wasn't productive or healthy for me to continue the disturbing cycle.

Maybe I was self destructive or maybe just really stupid, I speculated silently while he sat on my bed all ruggedly disheveled and glittery eyed.

His appearance made my stomach muscles tighten horribly.

Though I wasn't intrigued by him because he was handsome, and he was, exceedingly so, there was something more that broke through my normally tough exterior.  
It was the sadness I could feel in his touch, it was the wretched venom I could hear in his retorts, and most of all it was the brief glimpses of a troubled young man desperately lashing out for something to grab on to that inspired me to drop my every defense.  
Even when my mind screamed and my heart raged not to bother with him, I was unable to resist Edward.

The purple rings under his heavy lids were shockingly dark, which only made his glowing yellow eyes stand out like the brightest stars I'd ever seen on the deepest blanket of nightfall I'd ever known.  
"We're right behind you, Esme."  
He barked towards the shut door while I righted myself on unsteady legs.  
The tremors of having him so close still soared down my thighs and set fire to my calves making me slightly unsure if I could actually remain standing let alone walk.

Squaring my shoulders, I forced my limbs to cooperate. I swiftly walked over to the socks I'd dropped by the door, all the while focusing roughly as to not fall on my ass in front of him.  
I felt wildly self-conscious with him paying so much attention to me.  
Bending down modestly, I gathered the little black ball in my hands, and without incident walked over to a pair of sneakers by my dresser.  
Leaning against the crumpled receipt and hair tie scattered surface.  
I folded to pluck the old shoes in the center, leaving my new white ones and my even newer grey ones against the dusty wall. I noted that my choice of sneaker colors was even as boring and predictable as I was.

Lifting my head slightly, I coyly checked to see if he was still looking at me.  
Indeed, Edward was watching me curiously as I moved, every now and then that trademark scowl would drift down his face before being erased by a lost boy type of expression.

This sequence happened continuously as I once more tipped against the dresser to slip on my socks and then secure my boring sneakers with looped bunny ear knots.  
I righted myself once I was finished.  
Our gazes never left each other.  
I blushed furiously and he shot up to his feet from where he sat on the edge of my bed like he couldn't stand another minute away from me.  
Only I knew that couldn't be right.

There were times when I really wondered about my own sanity and this was one of those times.

Here was a man who infuriated me, yet I couldn't keep my hands off of him. Here was a vampire who'd, kidnapped me and changed my world forever, yet I would continue to forgive him and yearn for him.  
I sickly mused at my own ridiculousness.

Just last night he was calling me stupid and pumping me full of drugs, but now I batted my eyelashes at him and swooned every time he looked my way.  
It was beyond, way beyond, ridiculous at this point.  
Edward prowled toward me, his alabaster muscle roped arms swinging slightly and his intent clearly carved across his archangel visage.

Quicker than I could blink, we were toe to toe.  
My unnatural energy pulsed through my veins and branched out to my limbs as my palms burned and the soles of my feet buzzed.  
Spiking along my flesh, the electricity begged for release.  
"Ready?"  
He asked almost in an agreeable tone.  
My eyebrows rose up my forehead as a scoff rumbled up my throat.  
"Does it matter if I'm ready or not?"  
I challenged, looking up into his melted golden pools of light and trying not to lose myself in them.  
The handsomely chiseled features staring back down at me contorted in an fatigued jumble as he gently shook his head.  
'No, it doesn't."  
Edward answered quietly and solemnly while he reached out to grasp my tense shoulders.

His hands were strong and buzzing with a power that sneakily curled past my layers of clothing, crept along my skin, and sank into my pores.  
I shuddered as I felt him invading me.

With a concentrated look arching his brows, he ran those torturously amazing hands down the length of my arms.  
Past my elbows, and finally down to my twitching fingers he left a trail of fire across my flesh.  
I could feel him through the layers of clothing I wore like he was touching my bare skin and shamefully, I shivered in excitement.  
Interlacing our hands together, he took a deep breath which reminded me that I should also do the same.

When he was so close, breathing took a backseat.

Taking a giant gulp, my lungs stretched gratefully and my blood cells rejoiced while my mind swam woozily.  
Then, without any warning a biting slash of his ability whipped up my body like a tornado.  
The sheer force of it shoved me forward crushing me against his solid chest. I watched in morbid fascination as his ability exploded into a blinding starburst of waves and tremors all around us.  
A curtain of it veiled everything in my room, creating a dusky bloom that left me slightly terrified and completely enraptured.  
My eyes ached on account that they were as big as saucers, but I couldn't wipe the stunned expression from my face.  
Instinctively I let my own power flood me in an effort to steady myself both mentally and physically, but he was much stronger than I was.  
I found myself hanging on rather than keeping up.  
My bedroom smeared, swirling and morphing into nothingness as our combined electricity transported us out of the world I knew.

Firecrackers boomed in my ears, reverberating throughout my entire body while we held hands and skirted deeply into a swirling atmospheric hole.

As we rocketed across the fragile neon knitting of time itself, I couldn't help feeling strangely exhilarated.  
Traveling like this always sent a ripple down my spine, but this time it was markedly different.  
I dropped my eyes down to our connected hands and wondered if it was because I was moving with Edward or if it was due to his power so intimately twirling around mine.

Or maybe it was because I knew we were officially on the run.  
Whatever it was made the universe swoosh by faster than ever before.

Sneaky tendrils of my mud colored hair escaped from my ponytail to flog my boiling hot cheeks while we shot along the fabric of space together. I could feel his thumbs running deep circles along my skin with a type of familiarity that caused me to almost crumble and float away in the cyclone of wind whipping by.  
Each time he pressed down it sent an electric shock straight to my core.  
It was utterly sinful.  
The way his cold hard flesh moved against mine, nothing I'd ever known could compare to it.  
There was something soul rocking about being unsure if one would lose the ability to properly govern ones own body, but if I was being at all honest with myself I was nearly reveling in the loss of the responsibility.  
I closed my eyes in a halfhearted attempt at ignoring the ridiculously glorious sensation of freefalling with the man who tied me to his bed and ridiculed me every chance he got.  
"You're enjoying this."  
Edward's baritone voice dripped into my consciousness one syllable at a time.

I could hear him perfectly, even though the air around us roared and thundered.  
My eyes snapped open to look at him.  
I tried not to choke on my own tongue when I met his blazing honey colored stare. A twinkle of amusement gleamed in my eyes, but his handsomely chiseled features were twisted into a superlatively perplexed expression.  
Hammering away behind my ribs, my heart attempted to break through my body while I stuttered a shame filled and embarrassed denial.  
"I don't know what you're talking about."  
As the lie slithered away from my lips, I could feel more heat creeping up my throat and branching up to bloom against my cheeks.  
He scrutinized me sharply, in only the way _he _could, while the universe wobbled and fizzled all at once behind him.  
"You like the jump. It's uncomfortable, even painful if we're hungry, and I am."

Edward said as his dark eyebrows knitted together along the line of his prominent brow.  
"You are what?"  
I muttered unable to tear my gaze from his devilishly handsome face.  
He flashed me a sick smile before answering.  
"Hungry. I'm _very _hungry."  
The words rolled off his tongue in a way that made me want to slice my own jugular and bleed out into his glorious mouth while we both skirted along the flimsy netting of time.  
I had to shake my head to dislodge the unholy urges.

Blinking rapidly, I sucked down the frozen oxygen whipping around my boiling hot neck before I attempted to speak.  
Everything I did seemed to be either a revelation or an invitation to Edward, whether it was my stupidity at showing a complete stranger that I could levitate a coffee cup lid or my enjoyment of teleportation.  
I wanted to know why he cared, I wanted to know why his opinion was so fucking important to me all of a sudden, but most of all I needed to distract myself from those three little tantalizing words.  
_I'm very hungry. _

"Why does it even matter to you if I like the jump?"  
I tried my best to growl out the words, but the sensation of his hands gripping mine and the feel of the frozen torrents of wind streaking through my ponytail made it difficult to sound anything other than breathless.  
Scowling at myself, I tried again.  
"You're just going to insult me or drug me, so I don't see why anything I like matters to you."  
This time, my voice was sharper and much- much more cross than it had been a moment ago.

Until he opened his gorgeously hateful cherry stained mouth, that is.

Edward's beautiful face sneered as his fingers twisted tightly around mine while I gasped in pain, but mostly in shock.  
The feel of his satin digits digging into the back of my hands was both horrifying and titillating.  
"I apologized."  
He growled, much better than I could've ever done, as his menacing expression made my eyes water and my spine straighten.  
With sirens sounding in my brain, I noted how the oxygen I slurped down seemed icier, the air walloping against my back heavier, and the crashing in my ears somehow even louder than it had been just seconds ago.  
I struggled to inhale the shards of sub-zero temperature air, but with every mouthful I felt my lungs being shredded to party ribbons.  
His glowing yellow gaze, dazzlingly vivid and frighteningly piercing, bore down on me like a river fall of melted gold bullion while I toiled to resist the dueling emotions within me.

Edward scalded me with just a look and I shivered in macabre bliss. I hated myself more than ever before as I curled my fingertips into his hands like he'd done to me.  
Though it felt like I could break my fingers against his flesh and he would never feel a thing.

As I made the decision to at least try, he cruelly released my hands without a word in warning.

In a stunned, heart seizing moment, I was falling through the cracks of space and Edward was nowhere in sight.

Without a due course or idea where my landing point would be I shut my eyes and stifled the scream banging against my lips to break free. Trusting him, allowing him to receive my sympathy, had been a fucking giant mistake.  
Plummeting through nothingness, I cursed myself over and over again in my own frantic mind as it got colder and colder around me.  
The voltage just under my flesh sizzled, but otherwise didn't respond to my predicament of being lost in the holes of space.  
Only panic saturated me, entirely and completely.

My eardrums shook and my pulse shattered as I tumbled like an old dirty sneaker in a dryer.  
Anger, directed solely at Edward, flared deep in my gut while a wave of indignation mixed with my state of paralyzed shock.  
It was nearly impossible not to puke into the wind, but I kept my lips almost hermetically sealed.  
The only thing that stopped me from being sick was the image of Edward's face and the limb sheering desire to send him back to his knees, where he belonged, the moment he was back in front of me.  
Fury raged through me, sucking me faster and faster downwards. Electricity snapped along my skin and up into my hair, causing my hair band to break in an audible burst while the stitching of space expanded.  
My hair wrathfully scattered as my cheeks burned hotly.

The glowing weave of the universe knocked me back and spat me out and suddenly, I was somewhere.

I slammed against pillow softness, but my body rebounded and bounced before I finally settled flat on my back.  
Everything was quiet, except for the hum of jumping, as Edward called it, still wailing in my ears.  
The fall, though cushioned, nearly crushed my bones and because I simply couldn't take it any further I grunted out in pain.  
It was an agitated and rage filled noise that strangled away from my chapped lips as my eyes flashed open.

All around me, were surroundings I recognized.  
Instantly, the noise died in my throat.

It was Jake's apartment and I was back in my bedroom.

With a great jolt I sprung to my feet, away from my bed and towards the door.  
Though I didn't make it very far.  
I stumbled over my own limbs and clattered to the shiny floor in a boisterous heap just a few steps from the front of my bed.  
My knees smashed into the floor as yet another moan of pain erupted from my lips, though this time it was followed by a very adult sounding profanity.  
"Fuck me."  
I whimpered pathetically from the floor while a round of laughter detonated from above my bowed head.  
"That's such harsh language for a lady like you, Isabella."  
Edward's sarcastic voice drenched me like nuclear raindrops as I clawed at the ground to gather my ice cold bones.  
I fought for the strength and when I found it, I stood up to see him reclining on my bed like a well fed jungle cat.

His arms were tucked behind his head and his ankles crossed while the expression on his face was one of mild amusement. Nothing at all in his demeanor reflected his regret for dropping me through the tornado of space back to square one.  
There wasn't a shred of decency in him.  
Not a single lick of goodness inside Edward, I determined.  
"You're an asshole!"  
I shrieked, pointing a trembling finger accusingly at him.  
The power within me awakened, zinging through my body and unswervingly shooting out in his direction. It was the most glorious release, satisfactory and exhilarating, as the energy blasted along my flesh towards my intended target.

Edward's smirk fell away from his face while he darted away from my active line of fire at an incredible speed.  
He was too fast for me to catch, blurring past my eyes and evading my electric ire.

Instead of hitting his marvelously limber outstretched body, the invisible waves of my unnatural ability exploded the brigade of pillows he'd been perched against. Clouds of feathers burst into the air, hitting the ceiling and floating listlessly back down to the sparkling floor as I darted my gaze frantically to find him and make him sorry for everything he'd done.  
I didn't care if using all this power would create a neon sign that read '_come and get her_' for all the bad guys to see.  
Determination to show him again who was scarier pushed me to take a few steps across the room in search of him.  
Right now I felt I was, by leaps and bounds, the more volatile party.

Edward zigzagged around me so rapidly that I thought I would vomit on my own shoes, but I retained my teeming animosity towards him.  
On a whim I dropped my shaking voltage heavy hand to my side, hoping he would be encouraged to come closer if he thought I wasn't on the offensive.

I was so right, I almost cackled up to the heavens,

Like clockwork he appeared in front of me as soon as my hand flopped against my jean clad thigh while a small smile of victory threatened to crack my mouth.  
"You're strong."  
He said in a proud tone and a small self satisfied grin openly playing on his generous mouth.  
I wanted to wipe the floor with that perfect leer, but I waited for the ideal moment just a little longer.  
Somehow, I knew it would come.  
Snaking his strong lean arms around me, like he had the right to, Edward spoke once more and gave me the opening I was waiting for.  
"Esme thought you'd be weak, but you're not."  
He purred as he gathered me close to his chest while the enraged power inside my body warbled eagerly for another release.

I couldn't restrain my sick smile now, not when I had him right where I wanted him.

This time, I didn't cling on to him.  
This time, I didn't shudder into him.

No, this time I let him have exactly what I thought he deserved.

Pulsing with strength, I forced a bubble of sparkling energy around myself hoping to sear off his perfect porcelain flesh.  
I nearly radiated light. Even the dust particles scattering through the air dissolved in the glowing heat of the rampant energy I exuded.  
It was toe curling and goose bump inducing.

And I couldn't stop myself just yet.

Instead of releasing me, Edward ground his teeth together in an audible snap, and endured shock after shock I sent his way. He held me steadfastly, grunting every now and then, but refusing to let go.  
Several minutes past like this, with the two of us in a struggle for dominance, until I finally gave in.  
Not because I was at all tired or out of juice, but because with every one of his shudders and moans my heart ached.  
And just like that, the joy of harming Edward in immature retaliation lost it's luster.  
I really was pathetic, even in my vengeance.

Shrugging my shoulders, the veil of palpitating voltage dropped in an instant while an annoying twinge of worry nagged at my heels. Edward gently slouched into me for a moment, catching his breath slightly as the currents rolling down my spine begged to finish him off.  
I ignored the primal feeling, scared to be thinking such ravenous things.

It was unlike me, but lately I found myself quite literally out for blood. He straightened himself right away and took a step backwards with a wounded look on his handsomely carved face.  
"Isabella, you can just say that you don't appreciate me touching you."  
I couldn't believe my ears and Edward's face was a mask of different emotions that gave nothing away to my wildly searching eyes.  
Hate curled with love, intermingled with hunger morphing into starvation- it was an expression that was unreadable in it's meaning, but too stunning to ignore.  
"I don't appreciate it."  
I grumbled, unsure if I really meant the words I griped.  
He took another step away from me, back towards my bed, with his hands up in a small surrender.  
"I didn't appreciate any of it."  
I whispered viciously, trying to wound him for making me feel anything other than pure hatred for him.  
"Why are we still here?"  
Turning to my dresser, I scoured the surface for yet another hair tie.

I didn't find one.  
Or anything else I'd put on the dresser's surface before I'd been abducted by Agent Arc and her sultry eyed minion.  
Frigid and chilly, I drank down the sweet tasting oxygen swirling around my head while my mind worked through piles and piles of conflicting data.

Something definitely wasn't right, I could feel it deep in the pit of my stomach.

Flashing my eyes to the door I expected to see my luggage, but nothing was there. Not even the small piles of dust bunnies, that had once been, occupied the corners I could see.  
Spinning toward Edward with a curious thought forming in my mind I spoke up once more.  
"This isn't my room."  
I stated more to myself.  
My brows furrowed as I faced him, a questioning expression twisting my mouth downwards.  
Edward tucked his hands into the pockets of his jeans, which so lovingly hung on his lean hips, before answering me.  
"No."  
He stated simply while rocking back on his heels and lightly shrugging his shoulders.

Alarm bells sounded off in my brain as the muscles in my legs sprang into action. In a split second I was sprinting towards the door, moving faster than I'd ever moved in my life.  
I felt like a deer, running in front of bright lights and scampering mindlessly just to escape.  
Frozen waves of sugary smelling air slapped against my cheeks as I skidded through what looked like Jacob's hallway, careened into his living room, and bounded out of the front door of his apartment.  
With an icy sweat breaking out along my brow I jumbled down the red carpeted stairway, passing the dragons who stood guarding the landing.  
Though these were made of the whitest stone I'd ever seen, instead of wood.  
Their razor tooth rimmed snarling mouths were still agape and their claws still curled in fury, but their eyes were different.  
As I streaked by in a flurry of anxiety, I noted the way they followed me like the eyes of creatures that were alive. Slippery onyx globes gazed after me while I tumbled through the massive front doors and out onto the sidewalk.

Only here, it wasn't a sidewalk any more.

I stood in the center of a vast snowy garden with a towering golden gate encasing it.

A riotous noise erupted as soon as the lobby doors slammed shut behind me, sending me staggering backwards.  
Throngs of bodies, being pushed back by a line of steely looking vampires, quivered and bellowed for my attention. It seemed only thing stopping the mob from climbing the glittering golden gates and swallowing the entire building whole were the square jawed vamp soldiers.  
I could tell they were vampires by the glimmer of their golden eyes and the purple hunger rimming them, in my short experience that meant bloodsucker.  
At least five deep with the furthest rows facing the crowds and a single endless line of soldiers facing me, all dressed in black and wielding guns propped against their shoulders, helped keep the unruly gang from getting to me.

I stood shocked, as I craned my neck to watch the endless sea of howling upturned faces and failing arms from the slivers of space between the vampire formation.

At first glance they would've looked like any other crowd, but on closer inspection I could see impossibly tall men without any distinguishable features, like eyes, noses, or mouths.  
There were hundreds of statuesque women with flowing silvery hair and thousands of faces with glowing red eyes all standing in the snowfall feverishly screaming.  
Every one of them shouted and reached for me, desperately and violently, as I continued to inspect their moonlit bathed appearances.  
There were countless couples bundled in sweaters clutching each other, again at first glance completely normal.  
Until I took notice of their contorted brows and hellish ruby gazes.  
No children or animals mingled with the multitude of horrific looking bodies, I observed, while snow flakes blanketed everything.

Massive characters with faces that could only be described as twisted by pure evil, joyously waved in my direction.  
Buildings that reached high into the midnight blue clouds were draped with enormous flowing flags, every lamppost I could see was wrapped in the same type of strange flag, and even little versions of it were being frantically waved by the frenzied onlookers.

Not moving a single muscle, I ignored the tingling of my blood freezing into a gelatinous goop as fear rendered me useless.

I was too riveted and far too terrified to budge an inch. My heart pounded erratically while I viewed my worst childhood nightmares lined up by the hundreds of thousands cheering me on like I was the freaking Queen of England.  
The men standing a few feet away from me behind the gates, faced my direction but none of them looked at me openly.  
"Your loyal subjects, your grace."  
Edward, suddenly by my side, snickered while the mini army of vampires suddenly shifted their guns across their chests in a ready position.  
My head whipped in his direction, looking at him incredulously and wide eyed.

I couldn't quite formulate any words, all that escaped my lips were a few tiny squeaks while I gazed at him. His face, covered by the pale rays of a dim moon, was so beautiful I nearly forgot that he was so horrible.  
In another tantrum, my body rebelled and my hand darted out to gab his.

Like an addict, I went back for more of the bad stuff.

Pulsing with anxious power, I flooded him with benign energy and silently pleaded for him to take me away from the terrors of what I was seeing.  
I felt my blood pressure rising as the left side of my face tingled and my shoulder blades stinging in pain as the swarm of monsters yelled at me.  
They hollered and shrieked, even louder than before as Edward nudged my frozen stiff body back into the lobby.  
I felt my chest quivering as I struggled to breathe and a cold sweat dribbled down the back of my neck while he pushed me past the line of guards who once more lifted their guns up to their shoulders in some kind of weird salute.

Things only got worse once Edward finally ushered me back into Jacob's building, or what I thought was Jacob's building.

As soon as we reentered I knew it wasn't.

A few things remained the same, like the dragons trapped in gleaming white stone with their alert eyes and the swirling rose colored floors underfoot, but everything else was straight out of a perverted Disney cartoon. Soaring gilded walls, smoky in color but still somehow flickering brightly as though sun light was radiating away from their moldings.  
Blush colored furniture tasseled in gold, oil paintings of dark landscapes encased in glittering frames, and actual crystal chandeliers invaded my vision.  
The rabbit hole, it seemed, could get much deeper.

Standing under a lustrous shower of crystal beams, Agent Arc observed me. Her elegant hands wrung themselves into knots as she waited for Edward to drag me the rest of the way inside.  
The waterfall of wavy caramel colored hair draping over just one of her shoulders seemed even more luminous under the generously romantic lighting of the dripping chandelier over head.  
There were more than the eye could see, stretched behind her, gleaming endlessly.  
"Isabella, you don't look well."  
Arc said, her tone worried but her words smooth.

I wanted to bust up laughing at her, though I couldn't muster the strength to do it. In fact, as Edward's grip tightened around my clammy hand, I didn't feel very _well _at all.

All of a sudden, it seemed the weight of the world- no scratch that- the weight of the worlds pressed down on my clothes I wore stuck to my shivering body, each article seeming to weigh a hundred pounds, while the blood drained from my cheeks.  
Just outside the hoards of "_people" _continued yelled outside.  
"Let's get her to her apartments."  
Agent Arc ordered up to Edward while I allowed my eyelids to lower just a bit for just a quick second.  
All I needed was a moment, I thought woozily to myself.  
The rumbling in my ears battered my brain and my limbs sagged heavily as my muscles threatened to slacken.

I fought against the urge to pass out, actively refusing to allow Edward to be the hero again. Weakly I tired to shake out of his hold, but I couldn't remove myself.  
"She's not going to make it."  
He muttered in a bizarre tone while the palatial décor swirled around my clouded vision.  
"I'm right here."  
I tried to say, as he spoke about me as though I wasn't clinging to his arm, but what came out of my mouth was just a jumble of noises.  
Mostly pathetic ones.

Like falling into a well, reality grew smaller and smaller as I sailed downwards.

From one moment to the next it seemed, I was flat on my back with Arc hovering above me with the glow of an orange light haloing behind her.  
"Everything is fine, Isabella. We need to get you out of this clothing, the tether is beginning to weigh you down. It isn't causing your shock, but it's not helping it."  
She explained rapidly as she sheared my shirt and jacket with the flick of her fingers like I wore paper clothing.  
I tried to gasp in shock, like my brain demanded me to do, instead I grumbled dazedly.  
As the fabrics fluttered in tattered ribbons I attempted to cover myself up, but I was feeling weaker by the second and lifting my arms became an utter impossibility.  
"No."  
I garbled in protest, feeling my energy waning and fizzling out while my world tilted oddly.

I prayed I wouldn't faint or puke or cry like a baby.

Agent Arc looked at me sympathetically and knowingly, but didn't stop shredding my clothing until I only wore the necklace she had given me.  
I was shivering in embarrassment while heavy phantom chains wrapped around my limbs shackled me to the bed.  
"Alice, undergarments and a robe please."  
Arc said as though she were the surgeon and this Alice person was her faithful assistant technician.  
Blearily I could see a petite figure floating forward.

The pixie woman handed Arc a pile of folded items and without hesitating Arc took them and quickly redressed me in the simple set of underwear.  
"I'm sorry."  
Agent Arc whispered as I trembled like a fragile newborn bird.

With a gleaming gaze Arc hoisted me up so that she could properly cocoon me in the silky purple robe.  
Instantly, the warmth seeped into my bones as the dreadful feeling of sinking gently dissipated while Arc tenderly wrapped me tightly before rapidly diverting her attention to my sneakers.  
As my feet were freed I felt my legs responding and sighed out roughly in sheer relief.  
I'd never been overcome by such a pressure- such a tedious and invisible, and in short the experience left me horrendously stupefied.  
She handed my kicks, along with my socks, to the little black haired woman at her side.  
My vision cleared and I could properly see her strikingly fragile features.

She had a tiny upturned nose, a widely elegant smile, and a pair of gently pointed ears.

I did a double take as my eyes zeroed in on her elfin like qualities.  
She looked like one of Santa's little helpers, not a vampire.  
Finding my voice I spoke up.  
"What was that?"  
Finally, what I said actually made sense.  
I wanted to cheer, but the phantom weight wasn't yet lifted totally from my chest.

So, I remained as composed as possible while I spoke words and not sorrowful snivels. I had directed my question at Arc, but it was the pixie girl who answered cheerfully.  
"That, my dear, was a gravity tether. It's very unpleasant. You were supposed to change in the acclimation room, but Edward let you get away. He's always letting you get away, Bella."  
Alice's voice was like a chorus of angels singing, but the words she spoke contrasted the beautiful shrugged her slim shoulders in a carefree manner as though Edward was the silliest being in this realm.

I wondered if she was talking about the same man I knew.  
I seriously doubted she was.

Then, the rest of what she'd said sunk in.  
"Wait, acclimation room?"  
My chapped lips cracked as the words scraped by.  
Alice nodded her head rapidly, though this time she allowed Arc to answer.  
"Yes, the room you jumped into with Edward was meant as a sort of decompression chamber for you. Unfortunately, Agent Cullen doesn't always follow his orders."  
Arc's exasperated tone nagged at my heartstrings, but then I remembered he'd brought me in here.  
Energy shot through my veins as I rocketed upright, almost knocking into Esme in my haste.  
My eyes darted from corner to corner of the lavishly colored bedroom, but I didn't see him lurking in the darkness.

I felt a small pang in my chest, which I very quickly ignored.  
"He's just outside."  
Alice chirped with an impish grin while the power surged under my flesh, garnering strength and begging to be released.  
The pixie's wide set golden eyes enlarged comically as she seemed to assess me from afar.  
"Oh my, she _is _strong."  
Alice breathed before scooting a little closer to Arc, who perched on my bedside with her long flowing caramel hair swept over one angular shoulder.

Voltage, shimmering and tittering, radiated away from me in huge waves as relief flooded me uncontrollably.  
Edward had been decent and stayed outside, I could give him that at least.  
"All those people-"  
I began with a shudder, while lifting a hand up into my loosely hanging hair to rake through it, as I thought of the endless sea of people I'd seen.  
I could still hear the dull roar of the exuberant crowd just outside.

Arc nodded solemnly.  
"A lot to take in, I suppose."  
She mused as her luscious heart shaped pout smirked.  
I scoffed loudly.  
"Yeah,"  
Answering sarcastically, I couldn't stop the sick grin forming up at her twisting my lips strangely.  
Agent Arc's swimming golden eyes twinkled like the flicker of a roaring campfire.  
The sight, for some unknown and bizarre reason, caused the muscles in my neck to relax while dually tempering the unnatural force that crept away from my pores.  
Arc seemed to be the aloe to the burn- she was a tourniquet to the spurting gash of my torn apart life, and most of all she was the only person I felt I could trust when I could no longer believe the world around me.  
"Would you like another look?"  
She asked hesitantly while Alice craned her neck to edge into our conversation.

I couldn't deny that something deep inside me was curious about the reception I'd gotten.  
So, I nodded my head and without any further discussion both Arc and Alice helped me to my feet.

The rose marble floors weren't as cold as I thought they'd be, in fact they felt positively toasty. For the briefest of moments, I shut my eyes and wiggled my toes against the heat.  
The gloriously warm sensation slithered through my heels and up my calves, causing me to exhale roughly.  
"Nice, huh?"  
Alice, the Kewpie eyed vampire, said as she sharply elbowed me in the ribs with one of her pointed little appendages.  
The air rushed out of my lungs the moment she made contact with my flesh.  
Pain, unexpectedly terrible and intense, rippled across my abdomen causing my eyes to water.  
"Oh my gosh! I'm so sorry!"  
Alice trilled, a look of horrified worry finally cracking her permanent summer-shine expression while my hands rubbed the sore spot she'd created in less than a second.  
My skin positively throbbed.  
"I don't normally joke with my food. I'm so sorry!"  
She repeatedly apologized with dizzying speed.

I couldn't contain my hysterical burst of laughter.  
Though the noise was neither happy nor joyful, just manic in it's pitch.  
Alice talked about people like they were microwave dinners, but something in the crestfallen shadow of her angelic face made me want to forgive her for it.  
She clearly didn't mean any harm and she'd already seen me naked, so I guessed the regular rules of society etiquette didn't apply here.  
"It's fine, I'm fine."  
I lied as the ache in my ribs pulsed tenderly.  
"Are you sure?"  
The waif thin raven haired fairy quipped nervously while Arc observed our exchange in silence.  
Gritting my teeth, I stood to my full height and plastered a tight smile across my mouth.  
"Yes. See?"  
I stretched from side to side like an idiot until Alice's whimsical hummingbird expression replaced her disconsolately concerned one.  
"Good."  
She sighed contently as Arc moved across the bedroom towards a massive window cloaked with heavy smoky colored curtains.

For the first time since being brought in here, I looked around and what I saw nearly bowled me right over. It was an expansive space equipped with giant dressers and lounge chairs as well as a massive vanity area and a four post bed carved right out of the floor that looked like it should've belonged to an Olympian.  
The sight was splendid, it was glitteringly gilded, and it was utterly ridiculous.  
Everything appeared to glimmer, from the twirling semi columns lining the walls to the heavenly mural on the ceiling. I almost couldn't believe my eyes.  
"Come, Isabella."  
Arc beckoned me, breaking my stupor and snapping my attention to where she stood.

She drew back the heavy velvet curtain, uncovering a soaring glass door which led to a snow blanketed balcony.  
My feet ghosted towards where she stood while Alice trailed a few steps behind me. As I got nearer to Arc, I tightened the long silk dark purple robe with the belt around my waist and an odd feeling balling in my the pit of my gut.

Her elegant pale hand pushed open the glass door and instantaneously the purring of the multitudes below turned absolutely deafening.  
Though my steps didn't falter, I could feel my heart stuttering strangely while the power coursing up my spine crackled and burned like never before.  
With one bare foot in front of the other, I walked out onto the snowy balcony.

I looked down briefly to see that my ability was dispersing the wet snow with every forward step, parting the thick layer in two so I could walk undisturbed by it.  
A few rouge snowflakes drifted into my hanging curls, peppering me in a matter of moments, but I didn't feel the icy wetness on my flesh. I could only feel the overwhelming strength building in my body.  
Setting my shoulders rigidly, I darted my gaze over the swarming waves of supernatural beings without feeling the frigid temperature of the new dark world all around me.

As i stood there a giant converging groundswell of emotions slammed into me.  
Anger, terror, and an adventurous thrill soaked me through and through as the assembly of otherworldly beings howled below. Their spooky eyes were all glued to me, I could almost feel every single frightening pair of them gazing up at me waiting for something.

So, I did what I imagined they all came here to see.

Without a second thought, without a moments hesitation I released my power full force.  
In a split second I shone brightly like a beacon through the grey-fall.  
Shivering rays of energy showered away from my flesh in torrents, scattering the white flakes that had fallen on me and barring any more from getting near.  
Barefooted and radiating light, I listened intently as the shrieks from below fell completely silent.

The heinous adoringly wild crowd stilled in unison.  
Nothing but my beating heart could be heard.  
Miles of _people_ raptly watched while I forced a huge dome of golden power up into the murky night sky and away from my body.  
I didn't know why I felt the need to display myself this way, maybe it was because after all this time there was somewhere I belonged- somewhere I didn't need to hide.

Or maybe it was because I felt vulnerable enough to warn anyone who thought they could harm me.  
I was strong here, much stronger than I'd ever been on my side of the universe, and I wanted everyone to know that I was ready for peace.

But I was even more ready for battle.

* * *

** Another long one. Hope you enjoyed! **


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